Anonymous wrote:What provisions would you include in a post-nup when one spouse is about to become a stay at home parent? Assume that both partners have comparable earning power (currently anyway), education levels, no family money, and live in Virginia. Trying to think this through, so thank you for any insights or advice.

This is very smart if you are going to off track a career. For those that say split everything, that makes no sense. The SAHP will likely not be able to regain their earning potential. They should get more then half in a divorce, assuming both adults are in favor of one being a SAHP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What provisions would you include in a post-nup when one spouse is about to become a stay at home parent? Assume that both partners have comparable earning power (currently anyway), education levels, no family money, and live in Virginia. Trying to think this through, so thank you for any insights or advice.

- put the house in the SAHP’s name
- agree on alimony

Why? They certainly are not paying the mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half of our assets are already in my name which is comforting as a SAHM. My husband started the shift when I decided to stay home.

That doesn’t mean you own them, to be clear, if they were acquired during marriage.

Agree and I know everything would be split 50/50. But it was the gesture that was important to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

I assume she’s about to be a sahp AND the couple is staying together. I also assume they agree she should stay home and give her career up. I’m this case, this is what she asks for.

PP here and my point is it will likely not be enforceable as it is prenegotiating child support.

Wrong. Zero of these funds is child support. They are over and above child support.

- a divorce attorney

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

Not to mention the OP states that the SAH currently has the same earning as the working spouse. Court will award some money to get back in their feet, but if the spouse doesn’t have huge leverage than more than her fair share if she had already proven she can supposed herself.

This is a settlement agreement she wants with a spouse she’s staying with. She and her husband can agree to whatever they want. I stand by the list of what to ask for.

- divorce attorney

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

I assume she’s about to be a sahp AND the couple is staying together. I also assume they agree she should stay home and give her career up. I’m this case, this is what she asks for.

PP here and my point is it will likely not be enforceable as it is prenegotiating child support.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand postnups. If you divorce you are entitled to half of anything earned durning the marriage. How would a postnup change that, unless you are trying to ensure the SAHP walks away with more than the working spouse?

Presumably OP wants to guarantee some form of alimony to make up for lower earning capacity during time out of the workforce.

Ok. Not all states enforce postnups, so I would first find out if Virginia does. Also find out what their default alimony calculator is. You may be covered.

PP and Virginia does. In fact they are enforceable by statute. There is no default alimony calculator, it is not like child support.

My state does indeed have an alimony calculator. I think that's pretty common.

Who cares what your state does, OP is in VA which doesnt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

I assume she’s about to be a sahp AND the couple is staying together. I also assume they agree she should stay home and give her career up. I’m this case, this is what she asks for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

Not to mention the OP states that the SAH currently has the same earning as the working spouse. Court will award some money to get back in their feet, but if the spouse doesn’t have huge leverage than more than her fair share if she had already proven she can supposed herself.

That’s exactly what a post nup successfully overrides. She WILL get as much alimony as they have agreed to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand postnups. If you divorce you are entitled to half of anything earned durning the marriage. How would a postnup change that, unless you are trying to ensure the SAHP walks away with more than the working spouse?

Presumably OP wants to guarantee some form of alimony to make up for lower earning capacity during time out of the workforce.

Ok. Not all states enforce postnups, so I would first find out if Virginia does. Also find out what their default alimony calculator is. You may be covered.

PP and Virginia does. In fact they are enforceable by statute. There is no default alimony calculator, it is not like child support.

My state does indeed have an alimony calculator. I think that's pretty common.

Anonymous wrote:Half of our assets are already in my name which is comforting as a SAHM. My husband started the shift when I decided to stay home.

That doesn’t mean you own them, to be clear, if they were acquired during marriage.

Half of our assets are already in my name which is comforting as a SAHM. My husband started the shift when I decided to stay home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

Not to mention the OP states that the SAH currently has the same earning as the working spouse. Court will award some money to get back in their feet, but if the spouse doesn’t have huge leverage than more than her fair share if she had already proven she can supposed herself.

PP here and just to be clear my comment was that an agreement on the items related to child support will likely not be enforceable. The spousal support portion of such an agreement would generally be enforceable regardless of their relative earning capacities at the time of divorce. If I were the OP and my objective was to compensate for time out of the market I would structure the spousal support as some percentage of the income above what OP could earn at the time of divorce taking into account tax consequences including both the income tax bracket of the higher earner and whether the tax code changes such that spousal support becomes taxable income again. Whether the working party will agree to all of this is up for debate and I will say I've seen it go the other way where the working party decides the potential exposure in the event of divorce is too great and they change their mind about one spouse staying home. So, in that regard, depending on how much OP wants to stay home or not I'd be careful with overplaying my hand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.

Not to mention the OP states that the SAH currently has the same earning as the working spouse. Court will award some money to get back in their feet, but if the spouse doesn’t have huge leverage than more than her fair share if she had already proven she can supposed herself.

Anonymous wrote:Spousal support
Child expenses above spousal support (car ins, cell phone service, cell phone purchase, car purchase, prom and other dances expenses, college app and college visit fees, lessons, tutoring, equipment, books, study aids, college counselors, bday parties, salon fees, computer, unreimbursed med exp, etc - how they will be divided)
College expenses
Life insurance at least thru youngest child turning 25

Doubt you're going to get anything on the list past spousal support because it could be seen as divesting the court of jurisdiction over the award of child support. Those would be good things to include in a separation agreement if you are divorcing though.