Anonymous
Post 07/22/2022 19:47     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Take turns having the deciding vote.
And agree in advance not to blame each other.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2022 15:59     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have joint accounts. I typically select the funds we invest in (because DH isn’t interested in doing the research) and we decide jointly to invest in more risky things, like crypto. When the market was at its peak, I tried to get DH to agree to cash out. He had other opinions, so we didn’t. Now that we’ve lost 20% of our portfolio and are underwater with crypto, I can’t help feeling angry that DH refused to sell when we could have come away with considerable gains. For people with joint finances, how do you decide what you do if you and your spouse have differing opinions?


My husband and I agree not to try to time the market. There is less to debate and a lot less urgency in our decision making/communications.

You won’t lose 20% of your portfolio over time. It will come back! And didn’t you just save yourself from a lot of taxes by not cashing out? If you had now you would be sitting around worried about where to put the money and when?


With crypto, op may lose 100%


OP separated the two in their statement. They lost 20% of their portfolio and are underwater in crypto.


Everyone is down at least 20%.


Not me. I went to cash in my 401k and IRA early last year and spent the last 18 months buying lots of I Bonds and paying down my mortgage. Everyone said, "You shouldn't pay off your mortgage in an inflationary environment!" and "Keep the mortgage at 4% and invest in stocks at 10%!" Not sure why people have the stupid idea that you can't time the market. Maybe you can't do it precisely day-to-day (I missed the big run-up in 2021) but it was obvious that the big drop that is happening now was bound to happen. And if you are continuing to dollar-cost average now, you will be posting in two years about how devastated you are by the even huger losses. Stocks are probably not coming back to life for about another two years, so invest (or don't invest) accordingly. You're welcome.


You moved to cash because you need it for retirement? Is that what you used to pay off mortgage and buy I bonds or these are separate strategies?

Just curious if you're going to get back into the market with all the cash, when? And how do you buy lots of I Bonds I thought there's a limit.


I set up multiple trusts (Google it) and am able to purchase $70K in I Bonds per year (10K personal, 10K in my business, 50K in trusts).

No, I am a couple of decades away from retirement, so I just converted my 401k and IRA to cash because it was obvious stocks were overvalued and there is no tax consequence for doing this. I am using new money from income to pay down the mortgage. I will buy in to the market again when things are more rational (probably 2 years or so but I'll play it by ear).
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2022 14:31     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have joint accounts. I typically select the funds we invest in (because DH isn’t interested in doing the research) and we decide jointly to invest in more risky things, like crypto. When the market was at its peak, I tried to get DH to agree to cash out. He had other opinions, so we didn’t. Now that we’ve lost 20% of our portfolio and are underwater with crypto, I can’t help feeling angry that DH refused to sell when we could have come away with considerable gains. For people with joint finances, how do you decide what you do if you and your spouse have differing opinions?


My husband and I agree not to try to time the market. There is less to debate and a lot less urgency in our decision making/communications.

You won’t lose 20% of your portfolio over time. It will come back! And didn’t you just save yourself from a lot of taxes by not cashing out? If you had now you would be sitting around worried about where to put the money and when?


With crypto, op may lose 100%


OP separated the two in their statement. They lost 20% of their portfolio and are underwater in crypto.


Everyone is down at least 20%.


Not me. I went to cash in my 401k and IRA early last year and spent the last 18 months buying lots of I Bonds and paying down my mortgage. Everyone said, "You shouldn't pay off your mortgage in an inflationary environment!" and "Keep the mortgage at 4% and invest in stocks at 10%!" Not sure why people have the stupid idea that you can't time the market. Maybe you can't do it precisely day-to-day (I missed the big run-up in 2021) but it was obvious that the big drop that is happening now was bound to happen. And if you are continuing to dollar-cost average now, you will be posting in two years about how devastated you are by the even huger losses. Stocks are probably not coming back to life for about another two years, so invest (or don't invest) accordingly. You're welcome.


You can only buy $10k ibonds per person.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2022 14:28     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have joint accounts. I typically select the funds we invest in (because DH isn’t interested in doing the research) and we decide jointly to invest in more risky things, like crypto. When the market was at its peak, I tried to get DH to agree to cash out. He had other opinions, so we didn’t. Now that we’ve lost 20% of our portfolio and are underwater with crypto, I can’t help feeling angry that DH refused to sell when we could have come away with considerable gains. For people with joint finances, how do you decide what you do if you and your spouse have differing opinions?


My husband and I agree not to try to time the market. There is less to debate and a lot less urgency in our decision making/communications.

You won’t lose 20% of your portfolio over time. It will come back! And didn’t you just save yourself from a lot of taxes by not cashing out? If you had now you would be sitting around worried about where to put the money and when?


With crypto, op may lose 100%


OP separated the two in their statement. They lost 20% of their portfolio and are underwater in crypto.


Everyone is down at least 20%.


Not me. I went to cash in my 401k and IRA early last year and spent the last 18 months buying lots of I Bonds and paying down my mortgage. Everyone said, "You shouldn't pay off your mortgage in an inflationary environment!" and "Keep the mortgage at 4% and invest in stocks at 10%!" Not sure why people have the stupid idea that you can't time the market. Maybe you can't do it precisely day-to-day (I missed the big run-up in 2021) but it was obvious that the big drop that is happening now was bound to happen. And if you are continuing to dollar-cost average now, you will be posting in two years about how devastated you are by the even huger losses. Stocks are probably not coming back to life for about another two years, so invest (or don't invest) accordingly. You're welcome.


You moved to cash because you need it for retirement? Is that what you used to pay off mortgage and buy I bonds or these are separate strategies?

Just curious if you're going to get back into the market with all the cash, when? And how do you buy lots of I Bonds I thought there's a limit.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2022 06:10     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Your husband is a loser and so are you
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2022 20:13     Subject: Re:Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:Get a third party involved, like a financial advisor. A third party can help diffuse crazy decisions and keep the marital front united.


Exactly this…several dingbats on this threat need to take this advice.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2022 14:22     Subject: Re:Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Pretty sure anyone who had crypto lost recently. Don’t try to blame your husband.

I’m the opposite. I wanted to do more crypto and Dh didn’t. He reminds me that he made the right choice.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2022 11:04     Subject: Re:Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get a third party involved, like a financial advisor. A third party can help diffuse crazy decisions and keep the marital front united.


Strongly recommend this


+1
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2022 10:02     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have joint accounts. I typically select the funds we invest in (because DH isn’t interested in doing the research) and we decide jointly to invest in more risky things, like crypto. When the market was at its peak, I tried to get DH to agree to cash out. He had other opinions, so we didn’t. Now that we’ve lost 20% of our portfolio and are underwater with crypto, I can’t help feeling angry that DH refused to sell when we could have come away with considerable gains. For people with joint finances, how do you decide what you do if you and your spouse have differing opinions?


My husband and I agree not to try to time the market. There is less to debate and a lot less urgency in our decision making/communications.

You won’t lose 20% of your portfolio over time. It will come back! And didn’t you just save yourself from a lot of taxes by not cashing out? If you had now you would be sitting around worried about where to put the money and when?


With crypto, op may lose 100%


OP separated the two in their statement. They lost 20% of their portfolio and are underwater in crypto.


+1. I go through this all the time with my father-in-law. He has a massive portfolio ($25M+), has pros giving him guidance, and is always trying to time the market. Sometimes he is successful, sometimes not. He never loses as great a % as I do, but his overall CAGR is lower than mine.
Everyone is down at least 20%.


Not me. I went to cash in my 401k and IRA early last year and spent the last 18 months buying lots of I Bonds and paying down my mortgage. Everyone said, "You shouldn't pay off your mortgage in an inflationary environment!" and "Keep the mortgage at 4% and invest in stocks at 10%!" Not sure why people have the stupid idea that you can't time the market. Maybe you can't do it precisely day-to-day (I missed the big run-up in 2021) but it was obvious that the big drop that is happening now was bound to happen. And if you are continuing to dollar-cost average now, you will be posting in two years about how devastated you are by the even huger losses. Stocks are probably not coming back to life for about another two years, so invest (or don't invest) accordingly. You're welcome.


LOL. You got lucky. That's all. It wasn't obvious. It's only obvious in retrospect.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2022 21:39     Subject: Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are trying to find someone to blame for your risky crypto bet.


+1 I handle the investments for our family and we both have some play money. We each put money in crypto independently (less than $5k, nothing serious), and my dumb ass put it in Voyager so right now I am down about 50% with everything locked up until their bankruptcy is figured out. But we didn't go all in on crypto, because I am not risky with our real money. It's not your DH's fault that you invested in crypto, and if you really wanted to sell you certainly could have.

Don't blame him and also don't beat yourself up: a lot of people got stupid around crypto. And a lot of people are down 20% right now- the market is down. Look on the bright side: at least you're not holding NFTs. Just learn and move forward.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2022 21:34     Subject: Re:Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
You need to decide on a long term investment strategy and it should not include trying to time the market or decide to “cash out.”
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2022 21:13     Subject: Re:Does your DH listen to you when you discuss finances?
My DH understands nothing but rental real estate and bank deposits, so that is where his savings and investment are. I believe in equities, so that is where my investments are.

He also doesn't understand taxes or moves made to minimize them or even why we should try to minimize taxes.