Anonymous
Post 07/19/2022 09:07     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:Uhhhhh…as a mom to a 7 month old and 4.5 year old id recommend the following: sleep, enjoy a quiet slow sloooowwww meal maybe even sitting at a table!, sleep again, listen to the quiet, sleep, read, watch tv as late as you want, sleep again, and who knows…maybe even have another sit down dinner?!?

I want to be you right now, this title sounds sad but it’s not. I lost myself to my kids today okay? The whinniness, the crying, the nursing, the teething, the working, the mess, the random plastic junk, I’m just miserable. Sorry…I saw your post and thought someone else had a garbage day, and it bummed me out.


I’ve been there! I was so lost when my kids were those ages (we were also trying to get a diagnosis for my oldest with moderate SN). A few years later things are much easier. You will be this mom before you know it.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2022 06:25     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've spent the last 8 years raising 2 kids and lately they have become so independent that I have a lot of time alone on the weekends while they go to friends' houses etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, I have found that social media has sucked me in and I want to resist. What hobbies have you started as a 40-something? What do you do with a free day?



Well your kids are 8 and under. You're not done yet. Sorry.


There’s always one.

Where did she say she was done? She said she has more downtime as they become independent. This right here is why moms feel guilt for doing anything for themselves. It’s normal and healthy for her to find other things to fulfill herself while her kids are doing other things.


Well when you've been immersed in it for 20 years and your youngest is a teen, it's different. No need to get so riled up. Kids 8 and under still need a lot of attention, logistics, etc.


Oh please. I’ve been a mother for 16 years and I get what OP means. I have a lot more time to myself now than I did 10 or 15 years ago. I HAVE been able to start gardening seriously, working out more, I adopted a dog who needs long walks…

No one said you stop parenting when your kids can feed or dress themselves. But it’s a good thing to be able to make time for other activities besides mothering, too.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 22:25     Subject: Re:I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
This is an interesting thread. I am in that boat too except one of my 2 kids has severe SN. He’s 15. I feel so wrapped up in his needs and honestly I feel like it will never end. I am working with a therapist who is really trying to get me to have a life outside of my SN child. Luckily I do have an amazing, dedicated husband who helps with the kids. Some it though has to do with the help of others - for example, having his aide come for more hours since it’s a 24/7 job.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:53     Subject: Re:I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:I learned a new sport, pickleball. I am also trying to get a job -- I have always worked as an attorney, but I am trying to up my game and get into a more intense position.


Pickle ball is awesome and you can do it into our 70s!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:52     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
I rediscovered riding. I honestly think the combination of fresh air and animal interaction is like nothing else!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:49     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've spent the last 8 years raising 2 kids and lately they have become so independent that I have a lot of time alone on the weekends while they go to friends' houses etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, I have found that social media has sucked me in and I want to resist. What hobbies have you started as a 40-something? What do you do with a free day?



Well your kids are 8 and under. You're not done yet. Sorry.


There’s always one.

Where did she say she was done? She said she has more downtime as they become independent. This right here is why moms feel guilt for doing anything for themselves. It’s normal and healthy for her to find other things to fulfill herself while her kids are doing other things.


Well when you've been immersed in it for 20 years and your youngest is a teen, it's different. No need to get so riled up. Kids 8 and under still need a lot of attention, logistics, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:44     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've spent the last 8 years raising 2 kids and lately they have become so independent that I have a lot of time alone on the weekends while they go to friends' houses etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, I have found that social media has sucked me in and I want to resist. What hobbies have you started as a 40-something? What do you do with a free day?



Well your kids are 8 and under. You're not done yet. Sorry.


There’s always one.

Where did she say she was done? She said she has more downtime as they become independent. This right here is why moms feel guilt for doing anything for themselves. It’s normal and healthy for her to find other things to fulfill herself while her kids are doing other things.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:29     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Anonymous wrote:I've spent the last 8 years raising 2 kids and lately they have become so independent that I have a lot of time alone on the weekends while they go to friends' houses etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, I have found that social media has sucked me in and I want to resist. What hobbies have you started as a 40-something? What do you do with a free day?



Well your kids are 8 and under. You're not done yet. Sorry.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:24     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Uhhhhh…as a mom to a 7 month old and 4.5 year old id recommend the following: sleep, enjoy a quiet slow sloooowwww meal maybe even sitting at a table!, sleep again, listen to the quiet, sleep, read, watch tv as late as you want, sleep again, and who knows…maybe even have another sit down dinner?!?

I want to be you right now, this title sounds sad but it’s not. I lost myself to my kids today okay? The whinniness, the crying, the nursing, the teething, the working, the mess, the random plastic junk, I’m just miserable. Sorry…I saw your post and thought someone else had a garbage day, and it bummed me out.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:20     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
I work full time but between working from home these past few years bc of covid and the kids getting to be mid elem school I’ve taken up some hobbies — running, bicycling outdoors with a friend or in groups, and painting. Between those three (and occasional yoga) I feel good about my me time. I don’t socialize all that much though, I should get on that!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:17     Subject: Re:I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
Those early years... they're just a whirlwind and you just do what you can to get through the day.

It's okay to let yourself be unmoored for a little while as you find your footing in this new stage.

What did you used to enjoy doing before kids? Or even a hobby you had a child but let it go.

Spend some time figuring it out, and try to enjoy the journey along the way.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 19:34     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
It’s a definite pro of moving past the youngest stages. I started working out again, reading so much more and, dabble in photography
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 19:13     Subject: I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
I started gardening, lifting weights, and refinishing furniture. It’s fun to have hobbies again!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 16:44     Subject: Re:I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
I learned a new sport, pickleball. I am also trying to get a job -- I have always worked as an attorney, but I am trying to up my game and get into a more intense position.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 16:43     Subject: Re:I lost myself to my kids and not sure how to regain
I am in a similar boat. My youngest is starting kindergarten and I have 2 older kids.

I plan to try some new fitness classes, read books, home renovations, maybe play piano again. I Am considering going back to work or at least volunteer a lot.