Anonymous wrote:Big big hugs!! You're doing your best right now. You won't be patient all the time, you're still grieving and you're a single mom of small children.

How much help do you have? Do you ever get a break? I bet hiring a sitter for a few hours once a week would help you reset and be more patient. Kids wear you thin and you don't have anyone to tap you out.

My other suggestion is to be consistent about early bedtimes for your kids. Very scheduled. The consistency will help them fall asleep the same time each night AND you'll have more time to yourself.

You've got this.

Thank you. For the past almost 2 years I’ve been doing it all entirely solo, no regular family help no nothing but I think I’m going to bite the bullet dip into savings and hire either an au pair or a part time nanny. Whatever it costs will end up being worth it I think.

OP--please don't be too hard on yourself. You are still grieving and adjusting to your situation. I was a yelling parent as well--and for a lot longer (some my kids were teens when I finally got it under control). Two major things that helped me--taking a deep breath or walking away when I could feel myself heating up) and two, apologizing if I lost my temper. I think that sometimes parents feel a lot of pressure to be perfect and feel helpless when confronted with evidence that they are not. It helped a lot to apologize and to talk about my feelings (like--I'm sorry, that was not nice/good to yell.It was not fair to you...). My youngest (who was in kindergarten) could understand and we could talk about better ways to interact.

Also, consider PEP programs. They are free and easily accessible (some are even on Zoom) and they really have some useful tips and strategies on getting through those challenging moments. Sending you a hug and positive vibes