If we invite a child to go somewhere with us, we pay. How rude of you, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

It’s assumed the invitees pay for young children (unless they make it clear on invitation “tickets are $xyz” which would be completely fine.) I still send my child with money if they want to buy a snack or memento (but tell them only to use it if their friend us also buying something.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I say “can we buy the ticket online?” and they either say yes or don’t worry about it.

Perfection

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I ask to be sure. Usually before the excursion, but I ask again after if it seems appropriate. You sort of feel it out. And certainly if my kid later shares tgey did extra I’ll ask. Most folks will say no.

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I say “can we buy the ticket online?” and they either say yes or don’t worry about it.

Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

Op you in this area in every group/school/neighborhood that I’ve been a part of the norm is the parents pay for the guest child or make it clear up front-“we’re going to splash down and we’d be happy to bring Johnny if he’s free-admission is 15 dollars and lunch is usually another 10.” (And that second option is absolutely fine!) It would be really weird in my circle for a 9 year to think we’re going Dutch without it being clear from the outset.

For older kids when the parents are just a taxi service and the kids are making plans the kids just pay for themselves.

$20 is standard in our middle school group, but usually the kids come home with the money unless they bought extra snacks or whatever. I realize we are fortunate not to have to sweat the extra $$.

Anonymous wrote:Now you know that next time you need to clearly state the expectations for an outing.

Easy to do over text-- Hey there! Just a reminder we'll pick up X at 9. If you send along $40, that should cover food and a couple games.

Maybe your invitation implied you were covering the costs and the $20 was just extra spending money if the kid wanted some candy or light-up crap.

$40 for the zoo?

Anonymous wrote:While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.

That is because you are upfront with your expectation. Op expects parents to mind-read.

$20 is plenty for food. If you don’t plan to pay, don’t invite. Simple.

I expect to pay for kids when I invite them along. However, we also plan for things, like getting another membership for the bff who comes with us at least once per week.

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend who I watched once a week all summer. Her mother gave her money and the little girl just kept it. Was hard not to get annoyed.

Oh now this is different. That would be tricky. I guess you’d have to ask the mom/dad directly for spending money.

Anonymous wrote:While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.

PP again. This also depends on the family at times. If one family insisted on paying, I'll still offer and give $ to kids but next time I take theirs, I'll pay with no issue. If it's a family who mentioned funds, I will too when reciprocating.

While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.