Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:13     Subject: Re:People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:TBH, asking questions is like setting up for failure!
The next time I talk to you in a few months or so, I'll have to remember what you told me


Wow. Icky. Yes you are supposed to remember basic things about other people (like career, number of children, name of partner) and not just act like a solopsistic child.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:11     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.


OK, well…OP finds herself in a neighborhood where this is the norm. She can either sulk and expect things to magically change, or she can simply adapt and instead of wah-wah-ing and acting like a wallflower, jump in and volunteer more information about herself and steer the conversation. She can engineer things a little bit rather than whining on the sidelines.


You’re part of the problem. Affirming a person’s experience is part of human connection. FAIL but thanks for playing.


OK, enjoy your same, never-ending dynamic!


Ha ha I will just not hang around people like that and im assuming you. Instead I will find conversation with people who talk WITH me not AT me.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:11     Subject: Re:People who never ask you any questions about yourself
OP, you and I would probably get along. DH and I don’t this a lot. It’s really weird.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:10     Subject: Re:People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Most people are in to themselves. It’s hard to find someone with empathy.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:10     Subject: Re:People who never ask you any questions about yourself
TBH, asking questions is like setting up for failure!
The next time I talk to you in a few months or so, I'll have to remember what you told me
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:08     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.


OK, well…OP finds herself in a neighborhood where this is the norm. She can either sulk and expect things to magically change, or she can simply adapt and instead of wah-wah-ing and acting like a wallflower, jump in and volunteer more information about herself and steer the conversation. She can engineer things a little bit rather than whining on the sidelines.


You’re part of the problem. Affirming a person’s experience is part of human connection. FAIL but thanks for playing.


OK, enjoy your same, never-ending dynamic!
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 19:01     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.


Agreed. The people who NEVER ask a question and just talk ad nausea um about themselves are the issue. Talk about blaming the victim
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:59     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.


OK, well…OP finds herself in a neighborhood where this is the norm. She can either sulk and expect things to magically change, or she can simply adapt and instead of wah-wah-ing and acting like a wallflower, jump in and volunteer more information about herself and steer the conversation. She can engineer things a little bit rather than whining on the sidelines.


You’re part of the problem. Affirming a person’s experience is part of human connection. FAIL but thanks for playing.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:58     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
People are definitely more self-absorbed than in previous years, for sure.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:58     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I think your neighbors are a symptom of the same problem demonstrated by PPs above. Your neighbors are what are called bores in prior generations. It is not (necessarily) a character flaw. IIt is most definitely poor social skills, either because they don’t know or don’t care how to connect socially.

People with social skills are all around. They aren’t necessarily the extroverts or loudest people around. They ask questions and show interest in others. You walk away from them thinking what a lovely person they are. You might be one, which is lonely consolation, but better than being a bore.


Agree with all of this.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:56     Subject: Re:People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Yep, OP, a lot of people are like this. I don't like talking about myself, anyway, though.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:53     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:I run into these people too OP. They are clearly on this thread. I guess people just expect you to interject. I have started doing this to people like you describe- and they don't seem to even hear me they are just waiting to start talking about themselves again. Very very boorish, tacky and boring. I make a game of it now and just observe with wry amusement.


Jeez, I want to hug you guys. There are good people in this area that experience this daily. I wish there was a good way for parents to make friends with real (non-vapid, social climber) people here.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:30     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
I run into these people too OP. They are clearly on this thread. I guess people just expect you to interject. I have started doing this to people like you describe- and they don't seem to even hear me they are just waiting to start talking about themselves again. Very very boorish, tacky and boring. I make a game of it now and just observe with wry amusement.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:28     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.


OK, well…OP finds herself in a neighborhood where this is the norm. She can either sulk and expect things to magically change, or she can simply adapt and instead of wah-wah-ing and acting like a wallflower, jump in and volunteer more information about herself and steer the conversation. She can engineer things a little bit rather than whining on the sidelines.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2022 18:26     Subject: People who never ask you any questions about yourself
Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t a skilled enough conversationalist to the point where you must wait like a child actor listening for a cue to volunteer information about yourself or steer a conversation, I don’t think we can help you.


Nope. Really skilled conversionalists understand give and take and do give openings for other people to share their experiences and thoughts. They don't just drone on and on about themselves.