What would you say to a girlfriend who came to you with this story? I am sure you would tell her the absolute unvarnished truth: no one deserves to be spoken to with those cruel words.

My advice is to be grateful you aren’t married to him and REMEMBER these words to make sure you don’t get back together with him.

29 means you have less than a year to get married

Unfortunately, your ex is a disgusting bastard. No one has a right to talk to you that way. It’s going to take time to heal from this. Be kind to yourself even though he couldn’t.

Op, your issue is not whether you can trust another man, your issue is whether you can trust your own judgment. For this I highly recommend that you get intensive therapy, there is absolutely no way that you have not witnessed troubling behavior from this man in the past. You just either ignored it or refused to let yourself see it.

I am so happy for you that he let you go. You are young and have your whole life in front of you. Find someone who is worthy of you but first figure out your own worth.

I also am going through this. You start to wonder if you ever had a real relationship and was he always this mean and who have you been with all these years. My ex was having an affair, and his meanness stemmed from this. I wish I got out and blocked him like pp suggested. Please do this and get a better control of your emotions. The best revenge is this. Men want what they can’t have and will wonder if you were the right one that he messed up. I guarantee that this rant didn’t come from nowhere; he might have been with someone else during the time with you. Be strong, be better, start fresh and do nice things for yourself. Do not waste energy crying for this loss - do not get wrinkles from the stress!

Anonymous wrote:And I realize this sounds like me whining that I'm good and perfect and he's a horrible person. That's not what I'm trying to say. I have flaws, and I think he is a good person at his core. I am not trying to whine. I just want to know how to trust again.

Whining? Holy crap, no, you sound like someone who has just experienced a major trauma.

Does your ex have mental problems? It really sounds like he's having some kind of breakdown. Truly.

Please know that you DO NOT deserve any of what he said. A healthy person does not say any of that, no break up with someone on their birthday. Something terribly wrong with your ex, OP.

He's a covert narcissist. Please look it up, and know that you did nothing wrong. They act very kind and then one day the mask falls off and you can never go back to not seeing who they really are.

My ex was the same and it was a shock once he revealed himself. He even used the same type of language, calling me a "roach", and saying, "are you mute"- just horrible stuff. You may need therapy to get through this. It helped me a lot.

Good luck- you'll get through this and eventually be disgusted that you were with this person. But know that there's no way you could have seen it in advance- they're very charming.

So sorry this happened OP, but you are young and will be okay! DO not reach out or respond to him if he reaches out, no matter how bad you will want to. Someone that is nice in their core would never say these kinds of heinous things to someone. NO CONTACT!

OP men can’t be the bad guy in their own story. His behavior feels extreme to you because it is. Believe your own eyes. He wanted to end things but was too uncomfortable with the grown up emotions of “it’s over but I wish you the best”, like *you* would have done. So he screamed and ranted and broke sh!t on the way out the door. It was the only way he knew how, and that’s a failure on his part. But no one on this earth has the right to hurt you in this way. You’ll trust again like we all do; with time, healing, and a new person. It’ll be ok.

DP. This is what I did to make sure my AP never tried to contact me again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run away. Delete, block. This is a blessing.

This. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but this is the best thing this person ever did for you. He will probably be back, btw, and the best thing you can do for your own future is to refuse any contact. He is trying to see if you will take him back after abusive behavior.

Op here. I doubt he will be back. He screamed at me that he doesn’t love me anymore.

Anonymous wrote:Run away. Delete, block. This is a blessing.

This. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but this is the best thing this person ever did for you. He will probably be back, btw, and the best thing you can do for your own future is to refuse any contact. He is trying to see if you will take him back after abusive behavior.

Anonymous wrote:And I realize this sounds like me whining that I'm good and perfect and he's a horrible person. That's not what I'm trying to say. I have flaws, and I think he is a good person at his core. I am not trying to whine. I just want to know how to trust again.

I don’t care what you did. What he said to you is vile.

I have friends who have literally cheated on their boyfriends and those guys didn’t even dump them the way your ex did. They just said I don’t want to be with you anymore, they didn’t say any of the things that you typed.