Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 20:47     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:People on this forum are very weird about reimbursement for valuable work performed. I served as financial power of attorney for an elderly non-parent relative and paid myself $500 a month to manage her bills/finances, coordinate her assisted living care, file her taxes, and manage her investments. I am quite sure people would be horrified on this forum. I was ripped to shreds by these dcum folks upon suggesting that I should compensate myself for managing the disbursement of her trust to 24 beneficiaries upon her death. I am ignoring their advice. My recommendation for you is to chat with your siblings about what you think is a fair plan. I suspect if they are rational people can all agree to something, at the very least reimbursement for the parking and food.

You are a good daughter. He is lucky to have you.


I did all that and more and would never pay myself.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 20:45     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
My 80 year old mom pays me $200 per month. This covers tolls and gas and paying her bills, doing her taxes, making doctors appointments and taking her to them as well as a myriad of other issues that come up each month. She wanted to do it and I am happy to take it.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 13:37     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much did your dad spend raising you?

Did he charge you every time he changed your diapers or cleaned up your vomit?



He might have if the baby had any assets.


Or had asked to be born. Having children is a choice which comes with certain responsibilities. Or at least having children was a choice until SCOTUS overturned Roe v. Wade. But obviously OP was bore before that ruling.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 09:03     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
It is entirely reasonable to be paid if you are a caregiver. In my opinion, visiting someone in a hospital/rehab facility does not rise to the level of caregiver. It's inappropriate and petty, especially since OP has POA.

OP, you shouldn't do this. But if you do, you absolutely have to reimburse the same expenses for everyone who comes to visit your father.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 08:27     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:People on this forum are very weird about reimbursement for valuable work performed. I served as financial power of attorney for an elderly non-parent relative and paid myself $500 a month to manage her bills/finances, coordinate her assisted living care, file her taxes, and manage her investments. I am quite sure people would be horrified on this forum. I was ripped to shreds by these dcum folks upon suggesting that I should compensate myself for managing the disbursement of her trust to 24 beneficiaries upon her death. I am ignoring their advice. My recommendation for you is to chat with your siblings about what you think is a fair plan. I suspect if they are rational people can all agree to something, at the very least reimbursement for the parking and food.

You are a good daughter. He is lucky to have you.


I don't think you are saying anything new. So many words, so little meanings.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 08:25     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
People on this forum are very weird about reimbursement for valuable work performed. I served as financial power of attorney for an elderly non-parent relative and paid myself $500 a month to manage her bills/finances, coordinate her assisted living care, file her taxes, and manage her investments. I am quite sure people would be horrified on this forum. I was ripped to shreds by these dcum folks upon suggesting that I should compensate myself for managing the disbursement of her trust to 24 beneficiaries upon her death. I am ignoring their advice. My recommendation for you is to chat with your siblings about what you think is a fair plan. I suspect if they are rational people can all agree to something, at the very least reimbursement for the parking and food.

You are a good daughter. He is lucky to have you.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 08:19     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We pay ourselves $10K per month to care for our 87-year-old mom, net of caregiver expenses; that’s how much it costs when there’s overnight care which she needs. So if we spend $10K that month on caregivers, we get zero. And if we spend zero, we get $10K. Her bank account is not shrinking. Anybody think this is a money grab?


Did you discuss this with the other heirs? Is 10k the going rate?


Yes a money grab.


a money grab?? For caring for someone 24-7? No.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2022 04:29     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We pay ourselves $10K per month to care for our 87-year-old mom, net of caregiver expenses; that’s how much it costs when there’s overnight care which she needs. So if we spend $10K that month on caregivers, we get zero. And if we spend zero, we get $10K. Her bank account is not shrinking. Anybody think this is a money grab?


Did you discuss this with the other heirs? Is 10k the going rate?


Yes a money grab.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 22:25     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:We pay ourselves $10K per month to care for our 87-year-old mom, net of caregiver expenses; that’s how much it costs when there’s overnight care which she needs. So if we spend $10K that month on caregivers, we get zero. And if we spend zero, we get $10K. Her bank account is not shrinking. Anybody think this is a money grab?


If you're talking about 24 hr care that's less than $15 hr which is a lot less than typical caregivers get.

When my 90 yr old mom needed round the clock care we paid someone out of mom's money to come from 8-4 while we (her adult children and adult grandchildren) were all at work but once a family member was available we took care of her and did not take any money for that.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 21:24     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:How much did your dad spend raising you?

Did he charge you every time he changed your diapers or cleaned up your vomit?



He might have if the baby had any assets.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 21:23     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
I think it is reasonable, OP, but you may get into trouble with Medicaid down the line unless you have a formal agreement with your dad to be reimbursed.

I think it is less questionable to hire someone else to do these caregiving tasks.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 18:21     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:We pay ourselves $10K per month to care for our 87-year-old mom, net of caregiver expenses; that’s how much it costs when there’s overnight care which she needs. So if we spend $10K that month on caregivers, we get zero. And if we spend zero, we get $10K. Her bank account is not shrinking. Anybody think this is a money grab?


Is that 10k/month to the caregivers directly? Or through an agency?
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 17:48     Subject: Re:Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:We pay ourselves $10K per month to care for our 87-year-old mom, net of caregiver expenses; that’s how much it costs when there’s overnight care which she needs. So if we spend $10K that month on caregivers, we get zero. And if we spend zero, we get $10K. Her bank account is not shrinking. Anybody think this is a money grab?


Did you discuss this with the other heirs? Is 10k the going rate?
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 17:40     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
Anonymous wrote:I think its more than reasonable.


Reasonable for OP I mean. I'd clear with siblings, if possible.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2022 17:36     Subject: Is it reasonable to be paid?
I think its more than reasonable.