Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me. Don’t people at parties and such put a bowl of chips on the table so people can grab a handful at a time?

Oh look, it’s my FIL! Next time you see a bag of chips or pretzels, pay attention: there are usually tongs or a big spoon, and individual serving bowls or plates. These are called “serving utensils,” and they were placed out so that you could help yourself to an individual *serving* of the food! It always helps to take a breath before you start in on the food, calm down when you see food, and remember that this is not the last time you will ever have food. So instead of inhaling and being a hog, make a plate and enjoy. Remember your manners. I know it’s hard for people like you when you see food put out, you just want to cram your fist into that bag, but your host has likely provided a more hygienic way to share the food with everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a super weird practice. Your visitor was normal, your family practice is not.

NP. Disagree. We also don't eat out of the bag in our house, just as we don't eat out of the serving bowl at meals. You portion out what you want onto your own/plate bowl and can go back for more. If a guest did this at my home, I'd do what a PP said and buy an extra bag for us/the kids. It would never occur to me to walk into someone's house and start sticking my hand into their snacks. Gross.

So you use a spoon to put the chips/popcorn in your bowl?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its their giant bag of snacks now. Try to be a good host. People don't know all your family rules

They should know basic hygiene though.

It’s not basic hygiene. This is a common and acceptable to eat snacks even if it’s not how people do in your family.

While it is “common” (perfect word choice), it is not acceptable. At all. And neither is ignoring your host’s suggestion about food in their own house.

That’s disgusting. The fact that they declined a bowl shows they were raised in a barn. But you shouldn’t have phrased it as a question: You should have handed them a bowl and said, “Please use a bowl.”

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a super weird practice. Your visitor was normal, your family practice is not.

NP. Disagree. We also don't eat out of the bag in our house, just as we don't eat out of the serving bowl at meals. You portion out what you want onto your own/plate bowl and can go back for more. If a guest did this at my home, I'd do what a PP said and buy an extra bag for us/the kids. It would never occur to me to walk into someone's house and start sticking my hand into their snacks. Gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me. Don’t people at parties and such put a bowl of chips on the table so people can grab a handful at a time?

No. I put out small plates and bowls for individual use and my serving dishes always have a spoon, tongs, or whatever is the appropriate implement for picking up the snack.

I have never seen tongs offered for chips! Another DCUM surprise!

I agree not eating out if the bag is better..but assuming clean hands and that they are not licking their fingers between chips..it is pretty low risk and commonly done.

Um, this is a super weird practice. Your visitor was normal, your family practice is not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seem to recall people reaching inside a big bag of marshmellows to put them on their roasting sticks with their outdoor hands at every single camping cookout I’ve attending. Big bags of chips are open for people to help themselves. Don’t even get me started on salsa and dips.

At Cub Scouts and in my yard, a single adult with clean hands holds the bag and hands out marshmallows. No one wants a bunch of gross kid hands in the bag.

Thats weird, dude. You are eating off sticks.

Anonymous wrote:I seem to recall people reaching inside a big bag of marshmellows to put them on their roasting sticks with their outdoor hands at every single camping cookout I’ve attending. Big bags of chips are open for people to help themselves. Don’t even get me started on salsa and dips.

At Cub Scouts and in my yard, a single adult with clean hands holds the bag and hands out marshmallows. No one wants a bunch of gross kid hands in the bag.

Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me. Don’t people at parties and such put a bowl of chips on the table so people can grab a handful at a time?

No. I put out small plates and bowls for individual use and my serving dishes always have a spoon, tongs, or whatever is the appropriate implement for picking up the snack.

OP, this is why we buy individual size bags of snacks at work for our employees to snack on.

We used to buy the big bags.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is gross, right? We have a big bag of a snack that I bought for the kids to take for their camp snack. In our family if someone wants pretzels or veggie straws or whatever, they put them in a bowl and eat them. We don't bring the bag into the living room or to the table, I think repeatedly sticking your hand inside is gross, especially if you're not a member of our immediate family. I saw this and asked our guest if they wanted to use a bowl and they just stuck their hand back in and said "nope, I'm good!" and kept eating. Shouldn't they have taken the hint? I'm annoyed.

No, they should not have taken the hint, you should have had direct communication if this bothers you so much. "Larla, in out house we don't put our hand back in the bag repeatedly, please put however much you want in a bowl for your personal use," as you hand Larla a bowl.

That is what adults do - they don't play games, they aren't passive aggressive, they communicate clearly.

Why, given that OP has already said that she wouldn't eat something once the hand has gone back in? What's the point of having a conversation about it?

I seem to recall people reaching inside a big bag of marshmellows to put them on their roasting sticks with their outdoor hands at every single camping cookout I’ve attending. Big bags of chips are open for people to help themselves. Don’t even get me started on salsa and dips.

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have hinted. You should have been direct and said "In this house, we put things like this in a bowl. Let me get one for you; here you go!"

This. People don't need passive aggressive hints.

My family eats directly out of the bag sometimes. We are rarely sick. I feel like the most careful about germs families are the ones who are always sick because they're so clean and careful they don't have a good immunity built up.

You are correct that eating out of the common bag violates formal etiquette and best hygienic practices. Also, as a previous poster noted, COVID has changed everything, and it’s sensible to be more cautious now than before the pandemic.

That being said, eating out of the bag is not so uncommon a practice as to be generally considered barbaric. Moreover, while your kids may be exceptions, most kids are not considered paragons of etiquette or hygiene, and camp does not seem an environment that would strictly enforce either. I would not find it shocking to discover that the kids were sharing snacks amongst themselves with hands grubbier than those of your houseguest.

I have learned, that there are a lot of things that if I stop and think about them, I can drive myself crazy worrying about and futilely attempt to control, or acknowledge that despite my best efforts, life is messy, but tends to work out okay for the most part, so I may be better off in many cases to just not dwell on things too much. This seems like a prime candidate for the latter approach.

You might just get an extra bag, or even two so that you can make sure the kids are supplied separately and won’t run the guest short of snacks. Then once the guest has left, dump any leftovers of their contaminated bag. For any future visits, you can supply them with their very own bag of snacks, of serve it up for them in bowls. You might even want to preemptively serve snacks to the family in individualized bowls to establish that as your family practice.