I would send her a text telling her you don't appreciate that she carelessly left your house unlocked and the door open.

We had a variation of this. My mom came in when I had my 2nd child. She took something out the back door and did not lock it after.
Well - my mom left around dinner time and eventually we all went to bed. Around 3 in the morning, we had to call 911 as we had an intruder in the house. The back door was unlocked and they just walked right into the house.
As you might imagine, the experience was not one that we wish on anyone. But there was no mal-intent. And I also know that there are times when I left the door wide open.

BUT - when I stay at someone's house, I would double and triple check everything before leaving. My assumption - she thought the door was closed but it wasn't - and there were strong winds.
I would also recommend that you create some tighter neighbor relationships. We typically have a neighbor who will walk by daily - make sure there are no packages, mail , newspapers etc.

Anonymous wrote:The solution to your issue seems so obvious that I feel foolish for mentioning it.

Go to her home when she's not there, drink a bottle of her scotch, leave the door open and leave. Not just unlocked, OPEN.

Ha! Yes, OP do that.

Anonymous wrote:Correction: I can’t imagine why he doesn’t think this is a big deal.

If he's not fighting OP on the "no more sister staying here" decision, then his reaction is fine because--unless you have a retrofitted DMC DeLorean to lend to OP--nothing more can be done. SIL won't apologize, OK...can't squeeze blood out of a rock. All you can do is resolve to not let her stay there again, and move on with your life. Sounds like he's done just that. Imagine finding Zen without resorting to DCUM.

I understand how frantic you felt, OP.

However, it's done. It won't happen again, because you won't let her sleep in your house. You don't need to get mad, you need to mete out consequences.

Your H's lack of reaction or rather immediate defensiveness makes me think there's a history of you complaining about SIL to him and he's sensitive to it.

Any normal person would be furious. If my sibling, whom I love deeply, did this to our house I'd be very upset along with my spouse.

Definitely get a camera for the door.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop.
Pressing.
Return.
After.
Every.
Sentence!!!
!!

NP.
Why?
Far easier to read than lots that is posted on here.
Pass next time.

Because these posts read
Like bad, teenager haiku
Pointless, empty words

Correction: I can’t imagine why he doesn’t think this is a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:Stop.
Pressing.
Return.
After.
Every.
Sentence!!!
!!

NP.
Why?
Far easier to read than lots that is posted on here.
Pass next time.

You need a security camera at the front door that records movement - that would have answered the question of who was to blame.

Don't let her stay at your house again. Nothing was damaged, lost or stolen, so let it go.

OP, you have every right to be livid at both SIL and husband. Since I don’t know him, I can’t imagine ho ethics is not a big deal. Why do you think he is reacting this way? And I wouldn’t be so sure it wasn’t purposeful on her part. If she came to vacation at your house, but not visit you, and you two are no longer friendly, she may be jealous of what you have (brother be damned). This was not a break in.

I am curious that you didn’t get a call from your neighbors. Do you live in a secluded area? We left the garage door open and the neighbors let us know right away. Car windows down in the rain, we let neighbors know right away.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have neighbors? Wouldn't they notice your front door open for that long and check 0n it?

+1

I opened our front door wide open one time to get fresh air through the house - one of our neighbours popped over within like 1/2 hour to make sure everything was okay. Our door is not even that immediately obvious. I’m so glad we all look out for each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad nothing was stolen, OP. You have every right to be furious.

I doubt she intentionally left the door wide open, but she obviously didn’t lock the door or check that it was completely closed, so no – she never stays there without you again.

That’s as good as it gets. She’s not going to apologize and waiting for an apology will just keep you angry. There’s nothing more to be done about it. Having been robbed 2x (different cities), it is a horribly violating experience.

Sounds like she has (had?) a key to your house. Changing your locks might help you feel like you’re taking action and doing something while making sure she doesn’t have the opportunity to accidentally make that same mistake again.

Dh coordinated to get a key to her before we left. She’s supposed to mail the key back. She does not live locally. She flew into our town to essentially vacation while we were gone.

So somebody who steals your mail will also have a copy of the front door key? What a great idea!

Anonymous wrote:The solution to your issue seems so obvious that I feel foolish for mentioning it.

Go to her home when she's not there, drink a bottle of her scotch, leave the door open and leave. Not just unlocked, OPEN.

Op here and I just laughed out loud!

Do you have neighbors? Wouldn't they notice your front door open for that long and check 0n it?