Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 12:34     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
All you guys are crazy with the micromanagement!

It is not that complicated but of course not easy. Set good examples as parents and put them in a good peer environment.

Have high expectations and then leave them kids alone.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 12:24     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:Push and encourage are not the same. It’s ridiculous to criticize other parents and imagine the “push” when those kids have better academic performance. Instead of criticizing others, all parents should think about yourself. did you do things well enough? is there anything you can improve to help your child.


I think parents may have different goals and envision different experiences for their children. No one did anything wrong if their child is not advanced several grade levels. Some people think that’s the right way and some people don’t. Different philosophies about education, childhood and life in general. I think both sides are driven by fear: one worries that if their child isn’t the most advanced then they will lose advantages in life or not get I tot the best schools, leading to the best career options and the other fears that if some parents push their kids ahead it will become the expectation and they don’t feel it’s right or maybe that their kids can’t keep up. Lots of fear on both sides drives the criticism.

I think we would be wrong to overlook that there are different cultural views on this that come from different cultural history and attitudes. And both are ok. You have to do what works for you and your family in the long run.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:44     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Push and encourage are not the same. It’s ridiculous to criticize other parents and imagine the “push” when those kids have better academic performance. Instead of criticizing others, all parents should think about yourself. did you do things well enough? is there anything you can improve to help your child.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:24     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
It’s your imagination that Asian students were all pushed by their parents. Kids in this age won’t allow themself to be pushed.
My kid is very strong minded and self-motivated. There is no way I can push on her. But she pushes by herself on things she’s willing to do. She prepares herself on EC activities she’s interested. Prepping is nothing wrong as long people are willing to do it. All the EC studies are prepping for the competition. What’s wrong? Have you ever seen an award winner got the achievement without any prepping?
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:19     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
People don't get that some kids benefit from being pushed (encouraged, really) and other kids do not.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:17     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:OK, OP. Call me when your kids are in high school and college.


My kids are post college and they turned out fine.

- np
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:16     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is a huge, HUGE difference between "pushing" and helping your child unlock their potential. I don't push. I don't force them to sit and do workbooks nor do I make them do prep tests or call the school up to demand that my child be put in Algebra in 6th grade. But what I do do, in my opinion, is much healthier and will lead to much better consequences. I give them all the tools they need to succeed. My husband and I: Read to them all the time since they were babies, shower them and the entire home with love and security, talk to them about everything and anything using advanced vocabulary, introduce them to age appropriate games, puzzles and brain teasers, allow them ample amounts of independent playtime, take them on walks, hikes, to the playground, to museums, expose them to other countries and ways of life, cook together and allow them to make a mess when necessary, play fun math games while waiting for our food at restaurants or waiting in lines, expose them to as many activities/sports/instruments as they want and teach them about the importance of honoring a commitment, take them to the ballet/children's opera/children's symphony, make clear that education is our number one priority as a family, expose them to healthy foods to fuel their growing bodies and brains, establish clear bedtime routines to keep them well rested and energized, etc. etc. None of this involves pushing but my kids used all of these tools to thrive in school and life.


It's so endearing to see that type of post. Go head with your enrichment, PP. It's cute, and it's good parenting. It has nothing to do with high schoolers striving to eke out straight As in 15 AP classes so they can be competitive for top colleges, but clearly you're not there yet. I'm at this point. I recently paid $350/hr to an excellent math tutor (I'm a research scientist, I know he was excellent) so that my junior could survive his junior year. It was worth it. He will also get ACT prep, at the same rate. I don't expect to have to do this with my other teens, but this one is a little more math-challenged and I refuse to have this hold him back.


I get your kid needing to survive and junior year sucks. But maybe your kid is in over their head. Why are they at that level? Challenge is good, crushing your child’s spirit is not.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 11:12     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Every parent has their thoughts about how to parent their kids. As long they don’t violate the law, it’s their right. Why judging others?
Some kids may need a little push. Some kids are hard to push with. Some kids are very self-motivated. There is no need to push them. There are many situations. Something good for you may not be good for others.
Everybody get your own job done better. Mind your own business.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:58     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is a huge, HUGE difference between "pushing" and helping your child unlock their potential. I don't push. I don't force them to sit and do workbooks nor do I make them do prep tests or call the school up to demand that my child be put in Algebra in 6th grade. But what I do do, in my opinion, is much healthier and will lead to much better consequences. I give them all the tools they need to succeed. My husband and I: Read to them all the time since they were babies, shower them and the entire home with love and security, talk to them about everything and anything using advanced vocabulary, introduce them to age appropriate games, puzzles and brain teasers, allow them ample amounts of independent playtime, take them on walks, hikes, to the playground, to museums, expose them to other countries and ways of life, cook together and allow them to make a mess when necessary, play fun math games while waiting for our food at restaurants or waiting in lines, expose them to as many activities/sports/instruments as they want and teach them about the importance of honoring a commitment, take them to the ballet/children's opera/children's symphony, make clear that education is our number one priority as a family, expose them to healthy foods to fuel their growing bodies and brains, establish clear bedtime routines to keep them well rested and energized, etc. etc. None of this involves pushing but my kids used all of these tools to thrive in school and life.


It's so endearing to see that type of post. Go head with your enrichment, PP. It's cute, and it's good parenting. It has nothing to do with high schoolers striving to eke out straight As in 15 AP classes so they can be competitive for top colleges, but clearly you're not there yet. I'm at this point. I recently paid $350/hr to an excellent math tutor (I'm a research scientist, I know he was excellent) so that my junior could survive his junior year. It was worth it. He will also get ACT prep, at the same rate. I don't expect to have to do this with my other teens, but this one is a little more math-challenged and I refuse to have this hold him back.


I'm PP. Thanks for your condescending reply. But neither of those things count as "pushing" to me but maybe I'm just as bad as you? Hiring a tutor to help your child through a class or prepping for an extremely important test (as a teenager where studying for tests is age appropriate) does not really seem so terrible to me. Again, you're giving them the tools they need to succeed. But you're right... I'm not there yet.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:55     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:So absolutely absurd to not push kids to do advanced stuff. Especially since some average people are deciding the standards.

Push your kids to do well in school, on screener tests, and everywhere, becait will make them better at the end. They will learn about themselves the most.

Go for Algebra in 7th, even in 6th if you can.

LA should have better acceleration too.


Agree! I also got many pro tips from the book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". The anecdote about burning stuffed animals was inspired!
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:51     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:There is a huge, HUGE difference between "pushing" and helping your child unlock their potential. I don't push. I don't force them to sit and do workbooks nor do I make them do prep tests or call the school up to demand that my child be put in Algebra in 6th grade. But what I do do, in my opinion, is much healthier and will lead to much better consequences. I give them all the tools they need to succeed. My husband and I: Read to them all the time since they were babies, shower them and the entire home with love and security, talk to them about everything and anything using advanced vocabulary, introduce them to age appropriate games, puzzles and brain teasers, allow them ample amounts of independent playtime, take them on walks, hikes, to the playground, to museums, expose them to other countries and ways of life, cook together and allow them to make a mess when necessary, play fun math games while waiting for our food at restaurants or waiting in lines, expose them to as many activities/sports/instruments as they want and teach them about the importance of honoring a commitment, take them to the ballet/children's opera/children's symphony, make clear that education is our number one priority as a family, expose them to healthy foods to fuel their growing bodies and brains, establish clear bedtime routines to keep them well rested and energized, etc. etc. None of this involves pushing but my kids used all of these tools to thrive in school and life.


It's so endearing to see that type of post. Go head with your enrichment, PP. It's cute, and it's good parenting. It has nothing to do with high schoolers striving to eke out straight As in 15 AP classes so they can be competitive for top colleges, but clearly you're not there yet. I'm at this point. I recently paid $350/hr to an excellent math tutor (I'm a research scientist, I know he was excellent) so that my junior could survive his junior year. It was worth it. He will also get ACT prep, at the same rate. I don't expect to have to do this with my other teens, but this one is a little more math-challenged and I refuse to have this hold him back.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:44     Subject: Re:I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
There is a huge, HUGE difference between "pushing" and helping your child unlock their potential. I don't push. I don't force them to sit and do workbooks nor do I make them do prep tests or call the school up to demand that my child be put in Algebra in 6th grade. But what I do do, in my opinion, is much healthier and will lead to much better consequences. I give them all the tools they need to succeed. My husband and I: Read to them all the time since they were babies, shower them and the entire home with love and security, talk to them about everything and anything using advanced vocabulary, introduce them to age appropriate games, puzzles and brain teasers, allow them ample amounts of independent playtime, take them on walks, hikes, to the playground, to museums, expose them to other countries and ways of life, cook together and allow them to make a mess when necessary, play fun math games while waiting for our food at restaurants or waiting in lines, expose them to as many activities/sports/instruments as they want and teach them about the importance of honoring a commitment, take them to the ballet/children's opera/children's symphony, make clear that education is our number one priority as a family, expose them to healthy foods to fuel their growing bodies and brains, establish clear bedtime routines to keep them well rested and energized, etc. etc. None of this involves pushing but my kids used all of these tools to thrive in school and life.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:35     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!


Oh, my dear OP.

Push your children in the privacy of your own home. Present a veneer of casual parenting to the rest of the world, apart from a few trusted and like-minded friends (who most of the time will come from other countries).

That way it's a win-win. You get to parent the way you want. And you don't encourage competition from the average American family, who is clueless about navigating the new world order.

Lastly, but most importantly, do not assume that academic success always leads to financial success. Pursuing academic goals helps open all doors, certainly, but some of these doors are intellectual pathways for the love of the subject, not money-making schemes. And that's perfectly worthy in itself. It's learning for the love of learning.

Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:25     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
Anonymous wrote:This is a troll post.


Agree. While it's believable that someone who pushes their kids would have no shame, it's not believable that they think other people should too. Your little Larla who is being pushed by a psycho parent is only as good as the academic distance between her and the kid next door. No reason to help out the kid next door. It makes Larla less special.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2022 09:21     Subject: I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!
This is a troll post.