It's not the ultimate status symbol, but it is one of the "acceptable" WASP/puritan luxuries. Tell DCUM you spent $10k on a handbag and get dragged to filth. Tell them you spent $30k on an international vacation and you won't hear a peep.

Anonymous wrote:I love to travel. I guess I’m guilty of asking people plans. Everyone we know travels though so I wouldn’t think it is bragging. I consider it small talk.

This. When I don’t know someone well, say our kids are friends, asking if they have any vacation plans for the summer is always my go to question. I love to travel and I’m genuinely very interested where other people with kids go on vacation especially if they had fun. Also most people love to talk about vacations they have taken or plan to take. You answer of “oh maybe a week at the beach” is fine but give a few more details maybe. Which beach? What do you like about it? We are having a conversation here.

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

My week in the Caribbean probably costs less than your week in Bethany or Rehoboth.

Mexico and DR are definitely cheaper than domestic beaches in the summer.

Anonymous wrote:We talk about where we're vacationing with friends and neighbors because it's nice to talk about fun plans with friends. I never think anything in particular about where people are going, and I assume they don't think anything about where I'm going either.

This.

You are most likely assuming judgment based on your own insecurity or envy.

I promise you that nobody is passing judgement on whether you vacation or where you travel.

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

But is that incorrect? Seems reasonable

I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love to travel. I guess I’m guilty of asking people plans. Everyone we know travels though so I wouldn’t think it is bragging. I consider it small talk.

This is me, I really don't have other hobbies like golf or knitting.

Pp here. Yes, I don’t play sports. I don’t like to watch sports either. I do like to travel and try new restaurants. I always thought travel was a neutral safe subject. I guess it depends on your audience. I think everyone we know travels or has the means to travel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so few “safe” topics to chitchat about. Most UMC people go on vacation somewhere during the summer, so it’s just a way to make conversation and have something to talk about.

While I agree, there is clearly a difference between people who talk about it when it comes up naturally, and don't do so in a braggy way, and people who give a ton of details that convey expense (our suite comes with a private plunge pool and our own butler!) and then post a ton of pictures on social media clearly demonstrating how fancy and expensive the trip was.

Example:

Normal/Fine:
You: "So, have any fun trips planned this summer?"
Them: "Yes, we are headed to the Domincan Republic, what about you guys?"

Braggy:
Them: "Yes, we are going to the Rosewood Mayakoba. I'm SO glad we are bringing our nanny and got her and the kids their own room! Wouldn't be a vacation otherwise! If you go, you HAVE to pay for the expedited arrival service because othewise you'll stand in line forever at the airport!"

It's this. I LOVE talking travel with people, including travel that is by nature more expensive or exclusive. But there are people who fixate on details like this and will bring it up at every opportunity even though these are really just boring logistics. I really, really hate when people want to sit around and talk about stuff like pre-clearances for air travel or car rental services or whatever. It's one thing if someone says "we are trying to figure out how to get the kids and all our gear to the resort without renting a car" and someone response by saying "oh check if the resort has this service, it costs extra but we found it worth it." But a lot of people will volunteer this information to try and impress upon you how they spared no expense and it's incredibly boring.

I am sad for people who can afford to drop 5-10k on a weeklong vacation but when they come home all their anecdotes are about stuff like their car service or the lay flat beds on the flight or whatever. I sometimes wonder if they even enjoyed their actual destination. It makes me think of that show White Lotus -- all those wealthy people in this gorgeous location, feeling bored and fighting with their family and bickering over the size of their resort suite.

It's all about how you interpret things.

Maybe, they don't intend for you to interpret it that way. If you do interpret it that way, maybe it's you that is judging others.

When i have a good trip, I would like to share it with others, especially if they ask about it. Mainly to let others know that it can be done and as for myself, it can be done without breaking the bank. It is still up for interpretation. The audience might still see it as bragging. I guess it is bragging if I'm trying to say how much i saved for doing the things that i do the way that fits my family and my sanity. People will still judge you for anything and everything from you car, your house, your swag, awful looking but very comfortable sandals. Everything. Can't let that bother you sometime.

Anonymous wrote:My colleagues all have HHis of 300k-600k. I don't think I've ever told them or heard them tell me where they specifically were going on vacation. Maybe it's only women who brag? I'm a man so I don't get involved in the nonsense

Wow, that's a really sexist comment. Do you always gender stereotype?

Anonymous wrote:Only in the DC area have I ever experienced this. I don't the the UMC in more affordable areas brag that much to us poors.

It's definitely a DC thing. People here are very insecure about status and money. And UMC people in DC are extra conscious of it because the high cost of living means there are plenty of UMC people who are VERY financially comfortable but may struggle a bit to do something like travel abroad or stay in a luxury resort. It's getting more true because of the cost of housing in DC. Things that, say, a law firm partner used to be able to afford pretty easily (tuition for elite private schools, international travel, PLUS a nice house in a "good" neighborhood) are now a stretch for people in the same jobs, because their housing costs several multiples what someone who moved to this area in the 80s or 90s would have paid. Plus private school tuition is much higher. College is much more expensive too. Travel is actually cheaper in many ways, but not necessarily luxury travel.

So there's this perception of "struggling" to afford things that they feel they are entitled to because of income and social status. It's not real struggle -- we're talking about people making upwards of 600k a year, often on a single salary, who live in multi-million dollar homes and travel a lot. But they have this feeling of insecurity like they aren't keeping up because all this stuff costs more than it used to, and they work in industries where the perception of success is very, very important.

I used to live in LA and there is a lot of this there, too, especially around kids and private school. But for some reason less around travel. People still talk about it and can be competitive, but not to the degree they do in DC. They are more likely to be competing on real estate and where their kid goes to school. Cars. What celebrities they know or work with. But in DC, travel is a big form of social currency. Perhaps the more international nature of the population here drives that?

Anonymous wrote:There are so few “safe” topics to chitchat about. Most UMC people go on vacation somewhere during the summer, so it’s just a way to make conversation and have something to talk about.

While I agree, there is clearly a difference between people who talk about it when it comes up naturally, and don't do so in a braggy way, and people who give a ton of details that convey expense (our suite comes with a private plunge pool and our own butler!) and then post a ton of pictures on social media clearly demonstrating how fancy and expensive the trip was.

Example:

Normal/Fine:
You: "So, have any fun trips planned this summer?"
Them: "Yes, we are headed to the Domincan Republic, what about you guys?"

Braggy:
Them: "Yes, we are going to the Rosewood Mayakoba. I'm SO glad we are bringing our nanny and got her and the kids their own room! Wouldn't be a vacation otherwise! If you go, you HAVE to pay for the expedited arrival service because othewise you'll stand in line forever at the airport!"

Only in the DC area have I ever experienced this. I don't the the UMC in more affordable areas brag that much to us poors.

My colleagues all have HHis of 300k-600k. I don't think I've ever told them or heard them tell me where they specifically were going on vacation. Maybe it's only women who brag? I'm a man so I don't get involved in the nonsense

There are so few “safe” topics to chitchat about. Most UMC people go on vacation somewhere during the summer, so it’s just a way to make conversation and have something to talk about.