Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 21:57     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?


Even with floaties, you do have to watch them every single second they are in or near the water. It’s not just a reasonable expectation but the correct expectation. The pool is not where you taking your freaking break.

Posts like this illustrate why drowning is the number one killer of young children during the summer. The pool with young kids is not the place for parents to relax.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 21:26     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?

I think the no puddle jumpers/no floaties thing is something that I'd be really conscious of if my kids had the *possibility* of access to water when I wasn't around. So if we had a house with a pool (or even if we were renting one for a week). I read a story about a family who vacationed with their 3yo kid, used a puddle jumper during supervised swim, then one evening the kid walked off during a busy time when the adults were distracted and went into the pool by himself and drowned. It really stuck with me.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 20:25     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 19:54     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing a lot of anxiety this summer with your little ones near water? My just turned 4 year old has been in swim lessons and can swim somewhat but I have pretty bad anxiety about him near pools especially in social settings. I think my husband seems distracted easily. I can’t wait for a time I can feel more confident in his ability. I’m hardly comfortable with my husband taking him alone because he gets lost in conversations with people and so try to remind him it just takes a minute. Anyone else experiencing this?


Yes I don't let anyone else take my child to the pool or near water. Don't care. DH gets very distracted and involved in convos but he says it's because he knows I'm there but that doesn't fly for me.
Drowning is one of the biggest risk factors for kids under 5. I dont have anxiety about kidnapping.


+1


NP, +100
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 19:50     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing a lot of anxiety this summer with your little ones near water? My just turned 4 year old has been in swim lessons and can swim somewhat but I have pretty bad anxiety about him near pools especially in social settings. I think my husband seems distracted easily. I can’t wait for a time I can feel more confident in his ability. I’m hardly comfortable with my husband taking him alone because he gets lost in conversations with people and so try to remind him it just takes a minute. Anyone else experiencing this?


+1 yep! This was me.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 19:48     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:OP if you want your kid to learn put in the time. That means 8 hours in the pool every weekend, practicing.

My DS could swim all over a pool at 3.


You are slow… this isn’t what OP and the others are talking about at all. A 3 year old that has taken lessons and can swim all around a pool should still be watched like a hawk in the water.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 19:41     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:Good. You should be anxious around water; drowning is a real threat and you should watch them like hawks at this age. You are not being irrational.


+1

I felt better once my kids did a season of swim team and had built up stamina to do laps over a 30 minute practice. I still keep my eyes on my 6 year old at all times, but don’t have anxiety about him swimming on his own in the big pool. For my 3 year old who is in lessons but cannot swim, I stay in the water next to him at all times, even in the baby pool. I don’t trust anyone else to watch him, except my mom who is as vigilant about water safety as I am. I don’t care if other parents think I’m overprotective.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 19:31     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
One of my earliest memories is nearly drowning in our nextdoor neighbor’s pool. I was 3 and by my parents’ account a confident swimmer, and there were 6-7 adults watching the kids swim, 3 of whom were even in the pool with us. But I got stuck under a big, heavy floating lounge chair thing and got disoriented and couldn’t figure out how to swim around it and surface. I had to be pulled out and CPR done. Drowning takes seconds, and even good swimmers are vulnerable to panic and accidents.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 18:59     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Yes and no. Yes in that I do not take my eyes off of DD when we're around water and when she's swimming I'm in with her. No in that it feels like one of the only things I actually can control. If your husband is distracted I don't think they should swim w/o you.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 18:38     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:OP if you want your kid to learn put in the time. That means 8 hours in the pool every weekend, practicing.

My DS could swim all over a pool at 3.


My DS could swim all over our pool by two and a half. That did not mitigate my fear of him drowning. We even pushed him in the pool with his clothes and shoes on as part of his swim lesson and I still worry. We have a retractable pool cover you could walk across and a fence and I still worry.

As a PP pointed out, there are lifeguards at Olympic swimming events. Your kid knowing how to swim is great but do not get complacent. Swimmers drown all the time.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 18:30     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:OP if you want your kid to learn put in the time. That means 8 hours in the pool every weekend, practicing.

My DS could swim all over a pool at 3.


My boys could both swim well and underwater by two. Both could get to the side of our pool and climb out without help by 2.5.

Those facts/abilities in no way lessened my anxiety about drowning and vigilance in watching them like a hawk when they were in the water.

There are lifeguards at Olympic swimming meets. You have to be absolutely engaged around kids and a pool.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 18:15     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
OP if you want your kid to learn put in the time. That means 8 hours in the pool every weekend, practicing.

My DS could swim all over a pool at 3.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 17:32     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His swim instructor has told us how water wings and life vests aren’t great for small kids especially at this age when it’s clicking and they may really learn, it sets up a dangerous situation where they think they can swim after floating in puddle jumpers in a pool and the parent turns their back and they jump in the pool. For a lake or something, yes of course but professionals will say life vests are horrible at the pool.


Water wings are a NO. Coast guard approved flotation devices are great. You can use them without causing any delay to learning how to swim.


You’re missing the point.
For a 3 or 4 year old who is taking lessons, they won’t really differentiate when they don’t have the water wings in and jump in the pool thinking they can swim. That’s how a lot of drownings occur.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 13:07     Subject: Anxiety about drowning?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His swim instructor has told us how water wings and life vests aren’t great for small kids especially at this age when it’s clicking and they may really learn, it sets up a dangerous situation where they think they can swim after floating in puddle jumpers in a pool and the parent turns their back and they jump in the pool. For a lake or something, yes of course but professionals will say life vests are horrible at the pool.


Water wings are a NO. Coast guard approved flotation devices are great. You can use them without causing any delay to learning how to swim.


they are only approved for open water not swimming pools.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 12:28     Subject: Re:Anxiety about drowning?
Everyone should have your anxiety, OP. Pool drownings are the #1 killer of young children in the summer and 100% preventable.