Said about me regarding my having only child. Said by a very wealthy woman who does not work and outsources everything, including childcare.

She said to another Mom immediately after meeting me: “Could you imagine only having one child?”

I chose to have one child. But she didn’t know that.

My spouse and I work full time and have no family nearby. We don’t have free time. I know she does.

"He's still behind."

Mother of an eight-month old, talking about my perfectly normal six-month old. Well yeah, he's "behind" because he is two months younger than your child. Not a horrible thing to say, but just so strange. We were in the playground, and she was looking at my child and said this out of the blue, apropos of absolutely nothing. WTH.

Anonymous wrote:Small talk upon meeting a group of moms when DC1 was in K, getting to know each other, another mom asked me what I do, briefly stated my profession, asked her same, she starting staying home after her first child when she decided not to return to teaching for financial reasons and also - "they are only young once, it goes by so fast, and I decided I should be there for my children." I have since gotten to know her and consider her a casual friend, think it was an insensitive choice of words, but it came at a terrible time where I was working because I had no other choice, feeling so conflicted about it, and it was so hurtful.

I had this happen to me in reverse back when I was a SAHM. I had a friend say "I could never stay at home with a toddler -- kids that age should be with someone who has training in early childhood development." And another used to say all the time "I'm so glad I'm working so my daughter sees me working." These things were hard to hear when I was staying home with my kid -- made feel somehow selfish and inadequate.

But I see now how much of what women say to each other in those situations is really just stuff they are saying to themselves, to deal with their own conflicted feelings about either working or staying home. There's no right answer and no perfect approach to motherhood.

Anonymous wrote:Will you be room mother?

What does this entail? Not in school yet

“I bet your husband is so happy he’s finally getting a boy of his own.”

Said to me about our second child, as if our first - an adopted girl- didn’t count because she was a girl and not bio related or that my husband wasn’t thrilled about her. Also, I’m adopted so she insulted both my daughter and me in the same breath.

Anonymous wrote:“We had an amnio because we didn’t want to bring a child into the world who couldn’t take care of itself.”

We had an amnio too. Our children were both 3 at the time.

Can you elaborate as to why you found this offensive? Does your child have an issue that could’ve been (was?) found with an amnio?

Anonymous wrote:Will you be room mother?

Hahaha

I’m a child psychiatrist and had a one year old child when I started my two year fellowship.
Once, in the middle of the lecture, the lecturer paused to ask me how my child was dealing with the trauma of my taking overnight calls.

Anonymous wrote:My son was having a major meltdown on the metro after work one day, and a pregnant woman looked at me and said, “my child will never behave like that.”

It had been a bad day, after a bad week, and I was exhausted.

This is hysterical. My mom, who is very elderly and had LOT of children, told me once that she thought she was going to be such a great mom—she is super organized and has read up on all the parenting stuff, is very type A. “And then I had your brother and everything went out the window.” My brother is still a hugely challenging personality! My poor mom that started out with him when she was only 24. Like driving straight into the deep end.

Anonymous wrote:My son was having a major meltdown on the metro after work one day, and a pregnant woman looked at me and said, “my child will never behave like that.”

It had been a bad day, after a bad week, and I was exhausted.

Sorry this happened. But you know her child absolutely behave like that.

Will you be room mother?

My MIL definitely said some mean things to me (and my mom) about how I was a bad mother to my then-infant because I was working insane hours. Little did she understand, I was playing the long game and those insane hours led to promotions and flexibility after my baby turned 2. Now she considers me an excellent mother because I am always around lol.

It’s so nice of you to look after your granddaughter…

(She’s mine)

“We had an amnio because we didn’t want to bring a child into the world who couldn’t take care of itself.”

We had an amnio too. Our children were both 3 at the time.

Weren’t you afraid of downs?