We co-own our house but otherwise everything is separate. If we are out together as a couple or a family DH always pays for everything. Maybe patriarchy in action.

He pays the mortgage and childcare but I pay all the bills, property tax, auto insurance etc. I guess our finances are separate in name only, we are totally commingled and not really counting beans. We could get a new account and both contribute to it every month etc but what would that really get us?

We keep separate finances because I came into the marriage with significantly greater assets. That being said, I pay for 90% of our expenses so my husband can build wealth.

Eating out is the one thing I really don't value right now since we have young kids and it's just not that enjoyable of an experience. If he wants us to go out, he pays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I own the house and pay the mortgage, utilities, maintenance costs. DH pays for kid stuff, vacations, dinners out, etc. Or I pay. It really doesn’t matter. Whoever goes to the grocery store/target/whatever pays there.

Troll?

Why? We have a split something like this. It works fine, probably because we have plenty of money and were older/established when we got married. And neither of us is good at budgeting so we don’t track too closely unless there’s a problem.

Anonymous wrote:DH pays 99% of the time we go out unless its his bday or a special gift. He makes 2x what I make and has no debt so it just makes sense.

FWIW we have separate finances bc I have student loan and credit card debt. We will combine once those are paid off in a few years.

That sounds crazy. You are married right?

DH pays 99% of the time we go out unless its his bday or a special gift. He makes 2x what I make and has no debt so it just makes sense.

FWIW we have separate finances bc I have student loan and credit card debt. We will combine once those are paid off in a few years.

I think usually we use the joint credit card but one person might pick it up if it’s their treat for some reason. It doesn’t matter, it’s all our money. The “separate” finances are mostly laziness and it just works for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

I’m sure this works for you. But I just can’t imagine the dynamic where I say “I’ll get this one” to my spouse. That seems very different than having a joint account where you contribute different amounts etc. I don’t want to think about separate finances every time we spend money. That’s like a casual friend.

I say it all the time but in the "bad dad joke" way. Because the money all comes from the same account. That's the joke. It's not a good one, but I say it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

I’m sure this works for you. But I just can’t imagine the dynamic where I say “I’ll get this one” to my spouse. That seems very different than having a joint account where you contribute different amounts etc. I don’t want to think about separate finances every time we spend money. That’s like a casual friend.

Whoever feels like it pays. But joint costs are tallied up against a joint account, so the person who doesn't actually whip out a card will still pay for half in the end.

Meh. Take turns. NBD.

We wrestle for it. Keeps things interesting.

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

DH--he pays all food bills.

Anonymous wrote:I own the house and pay the mortgage, utilities, maintenance costs. DH pays for kid stuff, vacations, dinners out, etc. Or I pay. It really doesn’t matter. Whoever goes to the grocery store/target/whatever pays there.

Bizarre.