Kind of a dumb sentiment and also tempting fate.

My brother died as a teen, I played an integral part in raising him and his death shattered me. But I feel the same as OP about my kids today and so do my parents. Pretending those lives aren’t difficult and painful, the other paths, is silly. I am acutely aware of how quickly and randomly it can change and so I spend not a single moment holding back the metric ton of gratitude I feel every day my children are healthy and alive.

So many of the posts and complaints I read on here and marvel at the lack of gratitude. I try to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles but truly, if more people thought like this Op and less like “a boy grabbed my sons shovel at the playground so I told the mom feeding her other baby FORMULA to control her son, did I overreact?” Posters the world would be a better place.

Be grateful, for the roof over your head, for the food in your belly, for the stay rise and fall of your child’s chest as they sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your intent, OP, even as I agree with previous posters. I'm going post a link to an old thread, which has been one of the most meaningful on DCUM, because I think it achieves what you were aiming for.

OP of the linked thread-- I think of you and your daughter often, even after all these years, and continue to wish you peace. I hope you and your family are doing well and have come through the pandemic in good health.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/246993.page

I think of that OP often too. I will never forget that thread.

+1 I also think of this OP.

Anonymous wrote:OP said she’s happy that her child is HERE as in not deceased. She didn’t say healthy but I’m sure she is happy about whatever level of health her child has. It was a nice post and I feel the same way.

OP literally said "healthy and alive" in her subject line.

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your intent, OP, even as I agree with previous posters. I'm going post a link to an old thread, which has been one of the most meaningful on DCUM, because I think it achieves what you were aiming for.

OP of the linked thread-- I think of you and your daughter often, even after all these years, and continue to wish you peace. I hope you and your family are doing well and have come through the pandemic in good health.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/246993.page

I remember that thread - absolutely haunting and as sad as I was for the OP, I wish I never read it.

OP said she’s happy that her child is HERE as in not deceased. She didn’t say healthy but I’m sure she is happy about whatever level of health her child has. It was a nice post and I feel the same way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

+1. I have a friend with a severely disabled toddler and I always flinch whenever someone says they are so grateful for their perfect healthy baby or something along those lines. I know people saying stuff like that don't have parents of disabled kids in mind, but they are (inadvertently perhaps) using those parents' struggles to make themselves feel better. "Could be worse, I could be you!"

I think that's putting a very negative spin on what is likely a simple expression of gratitude. People are allowed to feel grateful for things without comparison. This isn't an either-or, it's a both-and.

People are being unnecsarky mean to Op. I feel this way every day.

Yes, I fervently agree, OP.

We are also lucky to be alive ourselves, to care for our children!

There is much to be thankful for.

I mean of course we are all grateful.

I know people that have lost their children. At any age 0 to adulthood it's tough.

To say you can't imagine, I get what you are saying, but what's the other option? People have to heal, people have to find a way to mourn.

As a parent of a child with a chronic and could be fatal disorder, we also just continue with our lives as best we can.

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your intent, OP, even as I agree with previous posters. I'm going post a link to an old thread, which has been one of the most meaningful on DCUM, because I think it achieves what you were aiming for.

OP of the linked thread-- I think of you and your daughter often, even after all these years, and continue to wish you peace. I hope you and your family are doing well and have come through the pandemic in good health.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/246993.page

I think of that OP often too. I will never forget that thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

+1. I have a friend with a severely disabled toddler and I always flinch whenever someone says they are so grateful for their perfect healthy baby or something along those lines. I know people saying stuff like that don't have parents of disabled kids in mind, but they are (inadvertently perhaps) using those parents' struggles to make themselves feel better. "Could be worse, I could be you!"

Exactly this

I appreciate your intent, OP, even as I agree with previous posters. I'm going post a link to an old thread, which has been one of the most meaningful on DCUM, because I think it achieves what you were aiming for.

OP of the linked thread-- I think of you and your daughter often, even after all these years, and continue to wish you peace. I hope you and your family are doing well and have come through the pandemic in good health.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/246993.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

+1. I have a friend with a severely disabled toddler and I always flinch whenever someone says they are so grateful for their perfect healthy baby or something along those lines. I know people saying stuff like that don't have parents of disabled kids in mind, but they are (inadvertently perhaps) using those parents' struggles to make themselves feel better. "Could be worse, I could be you!"

It’s exactly this. It’s a very strange kind of myopia, and it reflects very badly on any adult who says it. Posting it where parents can see this is not a kindness, at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

I agree with you both.