Unfortunately you can never be sure of what another person will choose to do. There's an element of luck when it comes to hiring a long term nanny. I was a nanny with the same family for 5 years and had they needed me to continue full-time, I would have gladly done so. Sometimes we joke about wishing they'd had another baby so my time could've been extended! It's been almost 10 years since I was their nanny and we remain very close.

Look for someone who is a career nanny. It's best to choose a nanny who has already been a nanny for another family (or families).

Treat her well. In my experience, when nannies are treated well, they have no desire to leave a position. Most nannies I know leave jobs because of their employers.

You can find the best nanny ever but be prepared that life happens: she could move, get married, have kids and decide to stay home and so on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that you want someone with college degree. You want someone flexible.

OP here. The college degree is non-negotiable. We know we want a nanny with at least a BA. I think there are flexible college grads out there!

Well, you do you. We chose someone who seemed VERY easy-going yet eager to learn and change, who didn't have a college degree. When our youngest started full day school, our nanny started college online. We still pay for full time, and the nanny does school work during the school day.

You will be severely limiting your pool of candidates by only considering those with a degree. I totally understand your thought process here, but the reality is that a significant amount of the best nannies do not have degrees. A nanny with a degree is ALWAYS at risk of leaving for a career in their field, almost always with better benefits unless you are providing full medical, dental, and vision insurance, retirement with match, continuing education stipend, etc.

We kept our nanny for 13 years. We would have kept her for longer but she got an opportunity to move into a corporate role which we encouraged. Our kids were tweens and teens when she finally stopped. With that background, my thoughts:

- Be prepared to always pay above market. If you have an excellent nanny, other people will notice and she will get job offers from them. Make sure you are always the more attractive option. This includes things like vacation and flexibility in scheduling.
- Have a career plan for your nanny as the kids age. I would discuss this at the outset. Do you want her to move into household management? Food and meal prep? What will she do when the kids are in school? Will you pay her to take a class or get a certification that she can put on her resume to show her expanded duties?
- You need to have regular career discussions with your nanny over the years. Remember, staying with one family for a very long time is a career risk for a nanny. She becomes more vulnerable to changes in your family, and loses references that are not one family. She also risks having her skills tied closely to one family. You need to mitigate that. We used to have regular career discussions with our nanny, including offering to pay for classes to bolster skills we needed in house management. We also worked with her on her transition into a corporate real estate job, which was a good fit for her because she was able to show a solid history of house management. She is doing great at that job now and will be able to carry that sort of job through retirement.
- I think your focus on BA is misplaced. There are plenty of excellent nannies without BAs and many duds with them (I have seen them). What is important in a nanny are communication abilities, organization, emotional stability and love, and patience. That is largely orthogonal to whether someone has a BA or not.
- You need to look for a nanny explicitly who wants to shift her role in the family as the kids grow. Some nannies have no interest in household management. Well, what is your nanny going to do when the kids are in school if not household management?
- You need to think about what tasks you want a nanny to take on for you while kids are in school and talk with the nanny when you are interviewing. Families are different this way. I never wanted our nanny to do things like manage doctors or volunteer at school or organize tutors, but on the other hand, I happily handed her vacation planning and closet reorganization. I would talk about this in the interview.

Good luck! A great nanny relationship is a blessing and we are still in close contact with our nanny, who comes to all graduations and will undoubtedly be at my kids’ weddings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Age isn’t important to us. Health and fitness is. Anyone between 25 and 50 would be fine with us.

Hmmm…. Maybe reconsider the 20 to 40 range. You don’t want to lose your nanny for her own pregnancy.

Yes. God forbid that a nanny would have the audacity to have a life of her own!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you ok paying someone FT once your kids are all in school? If you are a Nanny will likely stay . I was with my family for 9 years.

Yes. OP here. Yes we will pay well and yes we will continue to pay full time when the kids are all in school.

No job creep! Treat your nanny as an equal.

OP- find a good agency and they will be able to match you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that you want someone with college degree. You want someone flexible.

OP here. The college degree is non-negotiable. We know we want a nanny with at least a BA. I think there are flexible college grads out there!

There are but they have a ton of options. I’m paying $30/hr for one with only one child.

OP here. We know we will be paying at least that to start.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that you want someone with college degree. You want someone flexible.

OP here. The college degree is non-negotiable. We know we want a nanny with at least a BA. I think there are flexible college grads out there!

There are but they have a ton of options. I’m paying $30/hr for one with only one child.

You just have to be incredibly lucky to have a nanny that stays long term. Ours is devoted to DC but she has also had several failed relationships since she started working with DC in her 30s, which meant she never had to prioritize her spouse or children’s needs and move on.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Age isn’t important to us. Health and fitness is. Anyone between 25 and 50 would be fine with us.

Hmmm…. Maybe reconsider the 20 to 40 range. You don’t want to lose your nanny for her own pregnancy.

OP here. Age isn’t important to us. Health and fitness is. Anyone between 25 and 50 would be fine with us.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that you want someone with college degree. You want someone flexible.

OP here. The college degree is non-negotiable. We know we want a nanny with at least a BA. I think there are flexible college grads out there!

I disagree that you want someone with college degree. You want someone flexible.