Do it before 7th grade, if you can.

11th grade and beyond should be a no-go. It makes it hard for college applications and getting reference letters. Beyond that...I'm currently overseas with my two kids at an international school, and see kids moving all the time, particularly this past year with the turmoil around COVID. You do what you have to do for your family, and sometimes it's less optimal for the kids' schooling/friendship development. It makes them more resilient if nothing else...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family moved for 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th. I’m a shy person. The 7th and 8th moves were brutal and l still haven’t fully recovered. I’m 47.

Yes. We moved between 6 and 7. I was severely bullied as the new kid. I’m 48 and still flinch when someone yells my name.

I get that my parents really want another bathroom, but the timing was terrible for me.

How do you know for sure it was because you were new? In my case, we moved for 3rd grade and stayed put through high school but I still got bullied in middle school; high school was fine.

I think a lot of this just depends on personalities, lots of kids moved into my school throughout the years and some made a lot of friends easily while others didn't.

Anonymous wrote:My family moved for 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th. I’m a shy person. The 7th and 8th moves were brutal and l still haven’t fully recovered. I’m 47.

Mine moved when I was in 7th mid year, 8th before school year, and beginning of 10th. Like you, I'd say I haven't fully recovered! 7th and 10th were the worst.

10-12th grade.

Anonymous wrote:Any time is fine to move unless you have melodramatic tendencies in your family

Such a jerk response. Not wanting to move in the middle of high school does not make a person “melodramatic.”

I was one above who gave an example of my friend moving before her dd started 7th. I equated it with 6th, bc she had only done virtual before then (going back to shutdown).

But I now see 6th would be easier, and I forgot she moved from a virtual district, to a school where their own 6th grade mostly met all year long in-person. So while she moved at a “break,” the rest of the new school had done 6th together.

This is why there is difficulty … (not judging my friend’s move. They were not able to do it the year before)

Anonymous wrote:My family moved for 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th. I’m a shy person. The 7th and 8th moves were brutal and l still haven’t fully recovered. I’m 47.

Yes. We moved between 6 and 7. I was severely bullied as the new kid. I’m 48 and still flinch when someone yells my name.

I get that my parents really want another bathroom, but the timing was terrible for me.

My family moved for 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th. I’m a shy person. The 7th and 8th moves were brutal and l still haven’t fully recovered. I’m 47.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not high school

After sixth, preferably stay put.

+1. I moved after 5th and it was completely fine, made great friends I’m still close with as an adult. My preference would be to move them before MS but at least before HS. I think moving in elementary usually works out just fine.

My kids are in 3rd and 5th and have been in 4 different schools because we are a military family. They are doing fine academically, have had friends in all their schools and seem pretty well adjusted. You just have to help foster connections for them in a way you might not if you stay in one place for their whole school career.

Anytime in elementary. Natural breaks after that.

Any time is fine to move unless you have melodramatic tendencies in your family

Anonymous wrote:Not after 9th grade. But when I was a senior, a new girl to town that summer ended up being voted prom queen and some other yearbook superlative. Some kids are just resilient.

I forgot, a new boy senior year was also co-valedictorian and formed a social circle fairly quickly. I think both new kids were used to moving around for their parents’ jobs.

I went to new schools in kindergarten, first grade, 4th grade, 5th grade and then went to the middle and high school that I was zoned for but didn’t start 6th grade with any friendship group from 5th grade (or maybe I dis start 6th grade with my friends from 5the grade but my close friends ended up being a whole new/different group of girls. I don’t remember how that happened.). The only move that was really hard for me was starting in a new school for 4th grade. I don’t know what to make of that when thinking through moves for my own child. I’m a woman. I had planned to move her before kindergarten but it’s not working out that way.