I think you want them to be jealous.

I let them be jealous. That's their issue to deal with, not mine. And if someone says "I could never live with the traffic there" I'd just reply "It's so hard to find the absolute perfect place, isn't it? Everything's a tradeoff." And then I'd probably forget about it.

Anonymous wrote:First - I never, not once, have brought up my neighborhood or address unless directly asked. But my new friend(s) or acquaintances become absurdly defensive when they are the ones asking 'oh where do you live/move to?'

I say I bought in Mclean or on the UES depending on where the conversation is taking place. I know where they live keep in mind - usually its a far-flung burb or something and that's fine. I compliment them on their homes and how they must like whatever community they live in. But then immediately its disparaging comments about 'Oh I couldn't deal with the traffic or the size of an UES place'.

I don't even understand why you'd go out of your way to try to say something negative about someone else's home choice??

yet here you are being low-key "disparaging" about their "far-flung burb...or something" ....ooops!

Are they just trying to relate to you some how and you are being too sensitive to it?

Every time someone puts jealousy and living in McLean in the same sentence I giggle. Sorry.

Absurdly jealous? Really OP? I've never experienced anything like this even in this area. Where do all these jealous people live that they resent you for living in McLean?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Do you live in Mclean or the UES, or do you have properties in both?

same question. ?

Both.

OP, relax a little. No one cares where you live. It's your Marie Antoinette attitude that is causing people to bristle.

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Do you live in Mclean or the UES, or do you have properties in both?

I assume OP has residences in both places and says McLean when talking to people in the DC area and UES with in the NYC area.

We moved to McLean from another DC-area suburb and noticed (1) more people that we knew along the Boston-DC corridor specifically congratulating us for moving to McLean (it does have more name recognition in certain professional circles than most DC-area suburbs) and (2) some people who over the years have made teasing comments based on assumptions about, for example, our neighbors or the level of services that they assume people in McLean receive from the county, etc.

But it's not that often, and not malicious, so it's not like any particular strategy is needed other than "thanks" or "ha, ha."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I compliment them on their homes and how they must like whatever community they live in.

I hope that you are not faking positivity. Have you been to their house enough that you can compliment it? Are you being genuine about the plus sides of their community? I'd be asking myself if I'm coming across badly. "Oh, it must be so charming to have a house that is the twin of every house in the neighborhood! It must be lovely to have such easy access to BOTH the Target and the Walmart!"

There is something to this. OP, you seem to be having a relatively anomalous experience, and really all we know is that the only constant in all these interactions is you.

It may be that you are consistently coming off in a way you don't intend, and that sparks irritability in others. If it is this consistent, I'm not sure the problem is with them.

Anonymous wrote:I compliment them on their homes and how they must like whatever community they live in.

I hope that you are not faking positivity. Have you been to their house enough that you can compliment it? Are you being genuine about the plus sides of their community? I'd be asking myself if I'm coming across badly. "Oh, it must be so charming to have a house that is the twin of every house in the neighborhood! It must be lovely to have such easy access to BOTH the Target and the Walmart!"

It's small talk. They don't know what to say so they make whatever comment that comes to mind.

One of my friends likes to talk about where she lives in Chicago, like I'm supposed to know what that means. (I don't care, have no desire to live there at all.) And then gets offended when I *don't* comment about it.

If you don't want them to comment on it, stop taking about it OP.

It’s rude to criticize where someone lives. It could also be a bit of jealousy or resentment, but the main thing is it’s rude. That sucks you have multiple rude friends.

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Do you live in Mclean or the UES, or do you have properties in both?

same question. ?

Let it roll off your back. Seriously.

I'm confused. Do you live in Mclean or the UES, or do you have properties in both?