Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

NP, and I'm not calling anyone weird. But my job doesn't allow for weekday lunch dates, and we don't have grandparents who can do sleepovers. I don't feel guilty leaving mine alone (or previously, with a sitter) so DH and I can spend an hour together. I think it's healthy for kids to know that their parents have an adult relationship and enjoy spending time together.

Not PP but that’s not the question though. The question is when you stop using a sitter and at what age, which depends on how many kids you’re talking about and their ages. It has nothing to do with whether parents should have an independent romantic relationship modeled for the kids which I think most all of us agree with.

It was in response to a poster who said "we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to." They didn't mention and age, but given the general ages in the thread, they wouldn't go out to dinner and leave a preteen at home?

Didn’t pp say she wouldn’t go out to dinner and leave her 9y/o at home alone? At that age, kids can still feel lonely and sometimes scared when home alone so I don’t think it’s weird at all to want to hire a sitter

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

NP, and I'm not calling anyone weird. But my job doesn't allow for weekday lunch dates, and we don't have grandparents who can do sleepovers. I don't feel guilty leaving mine alone (or previously, with a sitter) so DH and I can spend an hour together. I think it's healthy for kids to know that their parents have an adult relationship and enjoy spending time together.

Not PP but that’s not the question though. The question is when you stop using a sitter and at what age, which depends on how many kids you’re talking about and their ages. It has nothing to do with whether parents should have an independent romantic relationship modeled for the kids which I think most all of us agree with.

It was in response to a poster who said "we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to." They didn't mention and age, but given the general ages in the thread, they wouldn't go out to dinner and leave a preteen at home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

NP, and I'm not calling anyone weird. But my job doesn't allow for weekday lunch dates, and we don't have grandparents who can do sleepovers. I don't feel guilty leaving mine alone (or previously, with a sitter) so DH and I can spend an hour together. I think it's healthy for kids to know that their parents have an adult relationship and enjoy spending time together.

Not PP but that’s not the question though. The question is when you stop using a sitter and at what age, which depends on how many kids you’re talking about and their ages. It has nothing to do with whether parents should have an independent romantic relationship modeled for the kids which I think most all of us agree with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

NP, and I'm not calling anyone weird. But my job doesn't allow for weekday lunch dates, and we don't have grandparents who can do sleepovers. I don't feel guilty leaving mine alone (or previously, with a sitter) so DH and I can spend an hour together. I think it's healthy for kids to know that their parents have an adult relationship and enjoy spending time together.

Mine are 8 and 11. Only recently did we start leaving them together for short periods of time. Mine fight a lot, which is my main hesitation. Other than that, they won't do anything crazy, and if they're allowed screens, they'll ignore each other and not fight.

We started doing this recently-- our kids are 12 and 9. I wouldn't have felt comfortable at 10 and 7. It was moot last year because we weren't really dining out due to the pandemic but I probably would not have left them alone for that amount of time at that age either.

I would for sure do this. Turn on the TV, make sure the phone is working and they know how to use it, and go.

Anonymous wrote:No. Don’t make your older kid babysit your younger kid. It causes resentment. You chose to have kid #2 so make arrangements for a sitter.

Disagree. I wouldn’t over use the babysitting for sure, and I have been known to pay my oldest extra allowance for babysitting especially on a weekend evening when she would be earning money elsewhere. But the occasional, 1-2 hour babysitting is just as acceptable as any other chore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

It’s not weird. I have a 9 year old too and wouldn’t leave him alone in the evening either. With a sibling older than 11? Sure. It’s a different dynamic.

No. Don’t make your older kid babysit your younger kid. It causes resentment. You chose to have kid #2 so make arrangements for a sitter.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 7 so I have never been in this situation before but I can’t imagine that I would feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old in the care of a 10 year old. Maybe if they were incredibly responsible mature kids and I was only going to be a few minutes’ walk away (like eating dinner at the neighbors’ house or a cafe down the street or something).

It’s different when you have two. I agree with others, wait a year. We would leave ours briefly together and go out to a local place for an early dinner when they were 8 and 11. The older one wasn’t watching the younger one. They were hanging out together. We had a landline and the kids loved a little independence and being home alone. We would be home really early, like by 6.

My oldest is 7 so I have never been in this situation before but I can’t imagine that I would feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old in the care of a 10 year old. Maybe if they were incredibly responsible mature kids and I was only going to be a few minutes’ walk away (like eating dinner at the neighbors’ house or a cafe down the street or something).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

why is this weird? She’s an only child… we would never go out for dinner and leave her just because we wanted to. We have lunch dates while she’s at school sometimes, a couple times a year she sleeps at Grandparents and we go out. But other than that we take her with us…. Leaving one alone is different that two though.

Anonymous wrote:I would feel guilty going out for dinner and leaving my 9yo home alone so
I sound get a sitter to do something fun with her.

Weird.

Anonymous wrote:Wait until 8 and 11

+1

Then you can enjoy your date nights again!