Anonymous wrote:I didn't know if my son had been sexually active or not but I gave him a reminder of the same talk we had already had. Always use condoms and make sure she consents and know that if she is drunk she cannot consent. And I sent him to school with a couple of boxes of condoms.

Did you pack him a bunch of diapers too!?! Good lord the helicoptering here is amazing. Yes, have the talk etc, but some of you folks are overboard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you talk to your parents about sex before you went to college? I wouldn’t have wanted to and certainly didn’t need to. My mother had no idea when I was first sexually active.

No, but my relationship with my kids is different from the one my mother had with me.

Yes, thank goodness.

Let’s strive to evolve people.

(So let’s lose the Animal House references.)

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you talk to your parents about sex before you went to college? I wouldn’t have wanted to and certainly didn’t need to. My mother had no idea when I was first sexually active.

No, but my relationship with my kids is different from the one my mother had with me.

Use two forms of birth control. Always.

Anonymous wrote:If they're smart enough and old enough to get into college they don't need any sex talk from their parents.

So many DCUM posters think they or their kids represent the universe.

It is a mix of arrogance and ignorance.

Did any of you talk to your parents about sex before you went to college? I wouldn’t have wanted to and certainly didn’t need to. My mother had no idea when I was first sexually active.

I didn't know if my son had been sexually active or not but I gave him a reminder of the same talk we had already had. Always use condoms and make sure she consents and know that if she is drunk she cannot consent. And I sent him to school with a couple of boxes of condoms.

Anonymous wrote:We had Dr. Ruth. She really went there on physical aspects of sex. Is there anyone like that now?

The Internet.

HIPPA? ok

That we are wired for sex to be linked with a host of feelings and connections to our partners, and that being physically intimate with someone you are not deeply connected to emotionally will not feel good or right. It will feel “off” and empty. (This is consistent with the values we've emphasized over the years.)

That I hope he meets someone special and saves sex for a relationship characterized by respect, trust, and love - but that if he makes that decision and then changes his mind, then that is ok. It is always ok to say no, at any point. It is also okay to say yes, have sex, and then decide that you don't want to be with that partner again.

That consent must be nothing less than an enthusiastic YES, spoken by a sober person.

That a person under the influence of alcohol or drugs cannot give consent.

That condoms are essential and combined with another form of BC, make for protection against disease and pregnancy. To use them always, 100% of the time.

That once a woman becomes pregnant, the rest of the decision making process is in her hands and not DC's, but could have an enormous, deep impact on the rest of his life.

If he can't or doesn't want to come to me, then go to the clinic on campus and talk to someone there.

Know what you want, with whom, when. Be empowered. Enjoy.

Anonymous wrote:We had Dr. Ruth. She really went there on physical aspects of sex. Is there anyone like that now?

Tik tok?? Maybe? I dunno.

Make sure they know they can always count on you, even if it’s something you don’t approve of.

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell them if they are ever sexually assaulted, skip the campus police and go to the real police. They have less incentive to sweep it under the rug.

Then if they are ever accused, ask for a lawyer and keep their mouth shut until then.

Good advice in both cases.

School administrations are qualified to handle cheating violations and minor rule breaking in the dorms. They are in no way qualified to handle a major felony, whether you're the victim or the accused.

Always have a sensible friend looking out for you and you do the same for them.