Anonymous wrote:I love all the replies on DCUM that start with “you sound awful.” “You sound unhinged.” “You sound bitter.” I know then to not read any further.

I think it’s appropriate here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quite racist, if you ask me.. A large portion of the world eats rice as their staple so won't consider bringing home bread, winning.

Also outdated with the advent of the Keto diet.

How about the avacadowinner?

That would be discriminatory towards non-elitists!

Let’s simplify the term and just say “winner.” So there is one winner (the one who earns more). That means there is also one loser in each relationship, because they earn less. That’s basically what the term breadwinner means anyway, IMO. Hey look at me, I’m the big person in the relationship. So outdated (hopefully).

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is the breadwinner because he makes twice as much as me. If I lost my job we wouldn’t need to make adjustments. If he lost his job we would have to make a lot of changes to stay afloat.

This. I think it's not just who makes more, it's who is responsible for the lifestyle and what happens if the other loses their job. My DH and I have leapfrogged each other, so I would say neither of us is a breadwinner. I wouldn't say there is a breadwinner if the salaries were 150k/300k. I would say there is a breadwinner if it's 50k/200k, so I guess it's just a gut feeling.

I think it's just as antiquated as a lot of our common sayings and phrases.

Anonymous wrote:I think if you don't have a SAHP it's a bit insulting to the lower earning spouse. I agree with OP that it feels outdated, or just not applicable to dual working parent families.

You find it insulting when people acknowledge the reality that one person in a couple makes less? It is what it is.

Ya’ll need to get over yourselves.

It’s whoever makes more.

My spouse is the breadwinner because he makes twice as much as me. If I lost my job we wouldn’t need to make adjustments. If he lost his job we would have to make a lot of changes to stay afloat.

I think if you don't have a SAHP it's a bit insulting to the lower earning spouse. I agree with OP that it feels outdated, or just not applicable to dual working parent families.

We are pretty similar in income and just use the term dual-income. I would never say we are both breadwinners, but I guess some might. Breadwinner is sometimes a relevant term, sometimes not really, and in any case, not really offensive.

I find it useful shorthand to describe my family on DCUM but I don't use it in real life.

Anonymous wrote:I love all the replies on DCUM that start with “you sound awful.” “You sound unhinged.” “You sound bitter.” I know then to not read any further.

So true, lol. But I did like the direction of "avocadowinner." Bringing home the big starbucks?

I agree with you, OP. It sounds sexist and dated. Just the term “winner” makes it sound like the higher earner is somehow better.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess it doesn’t really “grate” on me like I said in my original post. It just seems like modern life and finances and family contributions tend to be more fluid than the term allows.

Then it doesn’t apply to you. Just don’t use it.