Anonymous wrote:It’s actually more damaging to a child to abruptly interrupt them then it is to an adult.

Team OP here.

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Anonymous wrote:Do it to DH for a full day and ask him how he likes it.

Do you believe adults and children should be treated as equals? I mean, this is silly. It’s ok to act like an adult. It’s called parenting.

Parenting involves respecting your children, PP. And teaching by example. NP here. And acting like an adult means avoiding interrupting anyone.

Make sure you give your dh a transition warning also and let him finish anything he’s been doing! It’s no wonder so many men don’t want to participate in parenting when micromanaged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it to DH for a full day and ask him how he likes it.

Do you believe adults and children should be treated as equals? I mean, this is silly. It’s ok to act like an adult. It’s called parenting.

Parenting involves respecting your children, PP. And teaching by example. NP here. And acting like an adult means avoiding interrupting anyone.

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Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

DP and it seems that academics are the most important thing to you and emotional intelligence is not which is more important to some people

The example that the racist poster above gave was specifically linked to academic performance. Since there is a ton of data to support that children of Asian and Indian immigrants, as well as children of Asian and Indian descent have the highest academic metrics, then one would think she’d be more respectful of those parenting styles. It’s also incredibly racist to think that just because her husband‘s parents are Indian that they were authoritarian. I also had South Asian parents, and they were extremely loving and authoritative (not authoritarian) while also having high expectations for us academically. She should not have mentioned her husband’s origin at all. It’s completely irrelevant. Just as white people have different parenting styles, so do Indian people.

Ugh…

I know. It hurts to get called out on your racist garbage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it to DH for a full day and ask him how he likes it.

Do you believe adults and children should be treated as equals? I mean, this is silly. It’s ok to act like an adult. It’s called parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

DP and it seems that academics are the most important thing to you and emotional intelligence is not which is more important to some people

The example that the racist poster above gave was specifically linked to academic performance. Since there is a ton of data to support that children of Asian and Indian immigrants, as well as children of Asian and Indian descent have the highest academic metrics, then one would think she’d be more respectful of those parenting styles. It’s also incredibly racist to think that just because her husband‘s parents are Indian that they were authoritarian. I also had South Asian parents, and they were extremely loving and authoritative (not authoritarian) while also having high expectations for us academically. She should not have mentioned her husband’s origin at all. It’s completely irrelevant. Just as white people have different parenting styles, so do Indian people.

Ugh…

Anonymous wrote:Do it to DH for a full day and ask him how he likes it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

DP and it seems that academics are the most important thing to you and emotional intelligence is not which is more important to some people

The example that the racist poster above gave was specifically linked to academic performance. Since there is a ton of data to support that children of Asian and Indian immigrants, as well as children of Asian and Indian descent have the highest academic metrics, then one would think she’d be more respectful of those parenting styles. It’s also incredibly racist to think that just because her husband‘s parents are Indian that they were authoritarian. I also had South Asian parents, and they were extremely loving and authoritative (not authoritarian) while also having high expectations for us academically. She should not have mentioned her husband’s origin at all. It’s completely irrelevant. Just as white people have different parenting styles, so do Indian people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

DP and it seems that academics are the most important thing to you and emotional intelligence is not which is more important to some people

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

That really doesn’t hold water, PP. What if your spouse’s “way” was to spank or scream at your child? Some “ways” simply are right, wrong, or better.

Kids learn to be respectful by being respected. And since children are human, we can assume they don’t like being interrupted or have a change sprung on them suddenly.

But that’s not the case. It’s simply different parenting style. Good luck with your marriage constantly correcting your spouse. That’s the point. Furthermore, your child is going to be in classes where the teacher doesn’t give them five minute warnings before transitions. You’re not doing your child any favors.

It is the case. And no, my child will not be in a preschool where the teachers interrupt him or don’t have a schedule with built in transitions.

Don’t you and your spouse discuss and come to an agreement on how best to parent your children?! I’m surprised. Your poor kids must be getting very sneaky playing one of you off the other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

That really doesn’t hold water, PP. What if your spouse’s “way” was to spank or scream at your child? Some “ways” simply are right, wrong, or better.

Kids learn to be respectful by being respected. And since children are human, we can assume they don’t like being interrupted or have a change sprung on them suddenly.

But that’s not the case. It’s simply different parenting style. Good luck with your marriage constantly correcting your spouse. That’s the point. Furthermore, your child is going to be in classes where the teacher doesn’t give them five minute warnings before transitions. You’re not doing your child any favors.

It is the case. And no, my child will not be in a preschool where the teachers interrupt him or don’t have a schedule with built in transitions.

Don’t you and your spouse discuss and come to an agreement on how best to parent your children?! I’m surprised. Your poor kids must be getting very sneaky playing one of you off the other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's okay for your kid to learn and adjust to different styles. He can also learn, as he gets older, to identify how he feels about it (annoyed, disrespected, whatever) and decide what to do about it (likely nothing, but possibly explaining to his dad how it makes him feel and negotiating a change).

+1
Has your child been to school yet OP? My four year old can talk for hours. I’d we never interrupted her, we would never be anywhere on time. It’s not realistic to always allow the child to finish a task and will not happen in a group school setting.

Curtailing a conversation is not the same as interrupting.

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone will give time. I don’t see it as a big deal. Let your child know that’s the expectation from his father and he needs to learn to listen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's okay for your kid to learn and adjust to different styles. He can also learn, as he gets older, to identify how he feels about it (annoyed, disrespected, whatever) and decide what to do about it (likely nothing, but possibly explaining to his dad how it makes him feel and negotiating a change).

+1
Has your child been to school yet OP? My four year old can talk for hours. I’d we never interrupted her, we would never be anywhere on time. It’s not realistic to always allow the child to finish a task and will not happen in a group school setting.

Curtailing a conversation is not the same as interrupting.