Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 17:05     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
OP here. A big part of the reason why we decided to go with private school this year was because of the warm, welcoming community that the school advertises. Well unfortunately we have not "found our people" this past year. We did not know anyone at the school prior to going, we have attended every school-sponsored social activity, and while the other moms are pleasant at these activities, they clearly are not interested in being friends with me or being family friends.

I only have two friends outside of school, we are new to the area (moved here 5 years ago) and we have no local family. I was really hoping that this school would be the place where we would finally "find our people" and make long-lasting friendships for both my child and us as a family. I've invited many kids over for playdates, and these have not been reciprocated. We hosted a few parties at our house for the class/parents, and nothing reciprocated there either. My child was invited to one birthday party this year, and that was it--no playdates or anything. I feel like how is my child going to build strong friendships if these friendships are only school-based? My child is always complaining that there's not enough recess time to have fun with his friends.

When I was growing up, I also went to private school. Every weekend a friend would be over at my house or I would be at theirs. We made family friends at school who we did things with, even though most of these friends lived 20-30 minutes from me. We ended up spending holidays with these families too. Distance didn't seem to be as big of an issue back then for maintaining friendships outside of school. Similar to my son's grade, my grade was also very small (I had 35 kids in my class).

Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 17:01     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:OP have you tried specifically to be social with the 5 other new kids and their families?


Give me a break.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 17:01     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
OP have you tried specifically to be social with the 5 other new kids and their families?
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 16:41     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:Moved to private and kept public school friends. Haven’t found a close bond with private friends, too few kids.
One significant reason we did not reenroll.


The advantage of public is also having neighborhood friends makes socializing much easier.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 16:36     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:We were at public school for 2 years and then switched to private school this year for third grade, mainly due to Covid. Interestingly, my son was one of 5 new kids this year in third grade, so not the only new kid.

Anyhow, it's been one year at private school and I'm trying to decide if we want to stay for another year or go back to public. Finances are not an issue.

The issue is more: is private worth the tuitition money? I'm really not sure at this point. I'm a lot less enthusiastic now after one year than I was this past fall.

Here are the pros of private in my opinion and the cons:

Pros:
-Good Covid protocols and while masks are optional, half of the class still wears them, including my child. My child is not made to feel different because he still wears a mask all day. Some kids even wear their mask at recess still. Most parents are very Covid cautious and there have been no outbreaks in the class.
-Academics are strong and my child is ahead of grade level compared to public school in terms of what they're learning
-Small class sizes and lots of individual attention. My son's public school teachers never knew him as well as the private school teachers do
-Doing better overall in the smaller class setting than in the larger public school classes


Cons:
-Expensive
-Tiny grade of 25 so very few kids to be friends with through the years
-The school claimed their sense of community is warm and welcoming but I have not found this. I have set up dozens of playdates over the year and none have been reciprocated. My child has lots of friends in his class and I am setting up playdates with these kids but my son has not been invited to anything at all all year.
-There have been a few family social events and people are friendly but not interested in being actual friends, which is hugely disappointing
-The specials are weak--art, music, and PE compared to public school. I feel like the art my child brings home from art class, for instance, is very disappointing in terms of the art projects they do compared to at public school.

I'm trying to figure out what we should do for next year. Any thoughts? The community thing is big for us because we were hoping the school would be a source of new friendships.


We have had a similar experience. Switched during COVID. Tuition is not an issue but the academics and specials just aren’t better and the kids aren’t advanced or particularly hard working. Plus the class sizes is about 3/4 of yours so the social circle is too small. We have already re-registered to return to public and our kid is excited about it.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 15:57     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:Our school has already required us to sign contracts for this year, has yours not??


Yes, and we did not sign again.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 15:55     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Our school has already required us to sign contracts for this year, has yours not??
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 15:50     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Go to public, make the switch now before later.

With all sincerity from a private school parent.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 15:46     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
If your kid has fiends at the public that are good kids and you know the families, they are involved and you are happy with your public MS and HS option,then by all means go back. If your kid isn’t getting a vastly better experience in private what is the point? So much about school is being involved in the community.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:43     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.


Disagree, we were enrolled in private prior to covid and “community” is forced and not effortless. It’s really an unsubstantial imitation of what a genuine community is.


I have no idea what you’re talking about but sorry your community didn’t accept you. New relationships are never effortless, by the way.


This is an example of why some people are turned off by private school parents.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:38     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.


Disagree, we were enrolled in private prior to covid and “community” is forced and not effortless. It’s really an unsubstantial imitation of what a genuine community is.


I have no idea what you’re talking about but sorry your community didn’t accept you. New relationships are never effortless, by the way.


NP-The snark does not serve you well. Please don’t think all private school parents behave this way. This is one of the concerns of OP and is a legitimate thing to consider.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:36     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.


Disagree, we were enrolled in private prior to covid and “community” is forced and not effortless. It’s really an unsubstantial imitation of what a genuine community is.


I have no idea what you’re talking about but sorry your community didn’t accept you. New relationships are never effortless, by the way.


Wow, you just cemented what the pp said. That was rude of you to suggest pp was not accepted and uncalled for.
-private school parent.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:26     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.


Disagree, we were enrolled in private prior to covid and “community” is forced and not effortless. It’s really an unsubstantial imitation of what a genuine community is.


I have no idea what you’re talking about but sorry your community didn’t accept you. New relationships are never effortless, by the way.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:24     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Moved to private and kept public school friends. Haven’t found a close bond with private friends, too few kids.
One significant reason we did not reenroll.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2022 11:21     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.


Disagree, we were enrolled in private prior to covid and “community” is forced and not effortless. It’s really an unsubstantial imitation of what a genuine community is.