Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well to answer the question on the title, yes we do have 500$ but DH has also had friends hit him up to borrow (knowing full well it won't ever be paid back). It probably is fairly common for friends to ask to borrow. 500$ seems like a crazy small amount but some people lIve pay check to pay check.

Such a "crazy small amount" but you won't help. Lol.

SMH Who said that?? I am not the original OP, and yes, DH always "lends" the money without expectation of seeing it again. Learn to read, OP.

I think this is more common than people realize - also people tend to assume everyone is in the same situation as them.

I live in Arlington in a neighborhood of $750k-$1.5M homes. I have heard plenty of people make comments that assume that every family has an extra $50 - 500 for a coach gift, impromptu dinner out, last minute invite to a baseball game or long weekend at a cabin. I’m also heard comments that acknowledge an unplanned expense at the end of the month is an issue - can’t purchase school supplies until payday, can’t take care of a tree that came down in a storm immediately, can’t fix a car after a fender bender, thought the recital costume payment was next month. These comments are made as if everyone shared the same stress and dread over unplanned bills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

DP.. to me, some of the "millions of people" are in the situation that they are in due to their own making. They refuse to save and cut spending.

Yes, millions can't afford healthcare. That's a shameful indictment of the healthcare system in this country. But,we aren't talking about a $6000 medical bill here.

You don't know what the $500 was for. OP chose not to share the reason, just that she isn't helping and she shames people who don't have those resources.

We lent my brother $7,500 the other month. After almost two years of unanticipated unemployment (due to the pandemic) he needed money for a security deposit and move. (Pre pandemic he was a sought after restaurant executive in NYC; after many hundreds of applications, he finally found a job in the hospitality industry in Florida for about half the pay.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

Agreed. Things are very hard right now for a large group of people.

I have given thousands of dollars to a very close acquaintance becuase she has fallen on hard times. I know that she hates asking so I just send checks for holidays, birthdays, and other events so that she doesn't have to ask in the first place. I'm doing ok. If you know people are going through hard times, a bit of unsolicited help can go a really long way.

Note, I would not give money to someone with a substance abuse issue or other addiction. I think money there would do more harm than good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

DP.. to me, some of the "millions of people" are in the situation that they are in due to their own making. They refuse to save and cut spending.

Yes, millions can't afford healthcare. That's a shameful indictment of the healthcare system in this country. But,we aren't talking about a $6000 medical bill here.

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+1

It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

If they are lower income, depending on the situation and what, I'd just give them the money.

This article from the Atlantic comes to mind. The author, Neal Gabler, has a curious mix of self-responsibility and whining about 'the system'.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/05/my-secret-shame/476415/

Anonymous wrote:One branch of our relatives are in this boat. They have nice cars, gadgets galore (latest phone, games, other digital toys), and eat out all the time. But they don't have 1k for an emergency.

exactly... I really think that for many, the situation is of their own making.

One branch of our relatives are in this boat. They have nice cars, gadgets galore (latest phone, games, other digital toys), and eat out all the time. But they don't have 1k for an emergency.

I can understand not having that if you are sick, can't work much, single parent with no family help, but it's hard to understand how most people don't have a $500 emergency fund. IMO, some of these folks could probably sell something to cover most of the $500 but they dont't want to sell it.

And I didn't grow up wealthy. My parents are uneducated immigrants and can't speak English, yet they have more than $500 in emergency savings. They saved and saved, and actually "loaned" money to other relatives who are younger and speak English. And yes, they never paid my parents back. My parents worked menial jobs all their lives, but the other relatives thought it too beneath them, so they would chase after other means of living, and they also didn't save. They thought nothing of buying new cars and whatnot. My parents are in their 80s now and live on a fixed income, and still have $500 in emergency funds.

I've never had a friend/family ask me for money post-college (other than temporary "spot me a $20 til I go to the atm this afternoon" kind of situations back when cash was more common).

I did offer a friend of mine money to cover a divorce lawyer consult when she was in a bad situation and didn't want her husband to know yet. She declined.

And yes, I recognize how lucky this makes me.