Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:22
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
I think 90k-100k is solid for the DC area. Obviously, not a well off man, but respectable.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:21
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:For me, it was more about what degree he had. I married my husband the summer between finishing his master's and heading to a Ph.D. degree in statistics. We're doing well now. I am a stay-at-home mom, and he makes 160k. He finished his Ph.D. three years ago. Not all women are gold diggers.
Degrees are fine. They're an indicator of what they might do or where their interest lie or how their ambitions are. But. But be careful when you marry potential. Not many people live up to their potenial.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:19
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
But do you even make half as much? Why do you expect someone to do what you cannot?
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:18
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
How much do you make now? We had kids in 2012 when we combined made $200k and had to live close in for commutes. That means we had two kids in apartments. Amazingly, babies can happen in beds in apartments even the back seat of cars! Kids are in school now and doing great; we moved further out and got a house and make a little bit more. But assuming he makes $100k and you make $70k, you can definitely get a nice townhouse in Fairfax.
Unless they took out 500k in student loans, this has to be a troll post or someone in deep denial.
That poster and their spouse made enough money to have kids, ESPECIALLY with double incomes for 8 years, if they could not put together a down payment then they were foolish. Either that, or the other spouse didn’t really want kids and used money as an excuse.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:15
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
Ok troll.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:03
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:For me, it was more about what degree he had. I married my husband the summer between finishing his master's and heading to a Ph.D. degree in statistics. We're doing well now. I am a stay-at-home mom, and he makes 160k. He finished his Ph.D. three years ago. Not all women are gold diggers.
To add, he didn't have any college loan debt. He also wasn't going to have any from his Ph.D. Although, to be honest, I wouldn't have cared. We didn't have a car until after marriage. I could see that he was smart with money. He was supportive of me staying at home with the kids. Women have different ideas about their futures. Some envision being a stay-at-home mom and having a nanny or household help. That sort of lifestyle requires probably about 300k in the DC area. I had opportunities to be with men who finished college and owned a townhouse and a car. My life would have been easier, but my gut told me to hold out for someone nicer.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:03
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
This debate is always so fascinating to me.
My husband was making $15k when I met him helping run his family business. He was late thirties. Had multiple income bearing properties. Had zero debt.
I was a lawyer making ten times more than him, but boatloads of school debt.
We went out and borrowed seven figures for a business for us both to run, but mostly him. It brought us about $100k a year in profit.
We sold it after ten years and he started his own business.
I now make more than $500k per year in large part to him owning his own business and being very involved in family stuff. He makes much less with a new biz in a pandemic, but I don’t care what he makes. He might eventually be more successful than me.
But his income has never mattered “that” much because I can support myself.
But, I also 100% believe that money solves problem. We have a kid with profound special needs and the ability to outsource has saved us.
My husband was making $15k when I met him helping run his family business. He was late thirties. Had multiple income bearing properties. Had zero debt.
I was a lawyer making ten times more than him, but boatloads of school debt.
We went out and borrowed seven figures for a business for us both to run, but mostly him. It brought us about $100k a year in profit.
We sold it after ten years and he started his own business.
I now make more than $500k per year in large part to him owning his own business and being very involved in family stuff. He makes much less with a new biz in a pandemic, but I don’t care what he makes. He might eventually be more successful than me.
But his income has never mattered “that” much because I can support myself.
But, I also 100% believe that money solves problem. We have a kid with profound special needs and the ability to outsource has saved us.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:01
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:For a man in his 40’s? I mean, unless you are looking to marry someone much younger than yourself, you aren’t really looking to support a family anymore. I would say that as long as you make more than you spend and aren’t still hustling with seasonal or part time jobs, you are fine.
I often wonder who is reading these boards. A lot of people have first children around age 40. Most of my female friends had their first children at 40 or 41 about eight years ago. Around age 40 a man should expect to be still be raising a family if he hasn’t been married yet for sure. My second child was born eight years ago and my ex-husband was 41. But like I said I know plenty of people that had first children around age 40. This is not the 1990s.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 11:00
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
How much do you make now? We had kids in 2012 when we combined made $200k and had to live close in for commutes. That means we had two kids in apartments. Amazingly, babies can happen in beds in apartments even the back seat of cars! Kids are in school now and doing great; we moved further out and got a house and make a little bit more. But assuming he makes $100k and you make $70k, you can definitely get a nice townhouse in Fairfax.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:58
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Whatever income you need to support the lifestyle you and your partner want to have together. How the earnings are split between the partners is also up to you.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:54
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
For me, it was more about what degree he had. I married my husband the summer between finishing his master's and heading to a Ph.D. degree in statistics. We're doing well now. I am a stay-at-home mom, and he makes 160k. He finished his Ph.D. three years ago. Not all women are gold diggers.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:54
Subject: Re:What income makes a man marriage material?
I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.
As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.
If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:51
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Who do you want to marry? You can find women who would happily marry any man who has regular income and women wouldn't marry anyone making under $300K. You're marrying different people in those two scenarios though.
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:50
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care about income, but would worry about debt load, and if that income can support the lifestyle I would want for a family. If you are in your 30s/40s and have tons of debt, but make good money, I would move on.
Most 30-40 yo have mortgages and car loans . So you would move on from someone eligible for a mortgage to buy a nice house and date a guy who can only afford renting but debt free ?
Anonymous
04/26/2022 10:50
Subject: What income makes a man marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I married my DH 10 years ago, he made 120k and I thought that was a lot.
It sounds like you have a lot of love in your family. Hopefully he makes more now
Why, other than it’s good in general o get raises but can be hard in family friend jobs. If she makes a similar income they have almost $300k income. Maybe she makes more now?