"My friend runs around getting everything spotless for her teen son's friends, which I never do for my teen son's friends. The house stays in its usual sanitary but "lived in" state."

So making things spotless for teens like the friend does makes sense to some people here. Spotless means you've washed all throw rugs, mopped, dusted thoroughly, polished the wood, cleaned baseboards, emptied the dishwasher, vacuumed furniture, set out fresh flowers or new candles, and scrubbed the toilets and sinks even though your cleaners did it just three days ago.

But just having it in its usual tidy but lived in state, with everything sanitary, is lazy parent behavior and it's a messy home.

Anonymous wrote:Op. Your follow up makes you sound even more kooky. Stop looking for criticism - no one is inspecting or checking out your home.

Agree. You sound a little nuts. I never just dump my kid in someone’s driveway and peel off. I always walk them up to the door. Parents always invite me in, we say hello chit chat a second in the entry way/foyer and then I leave. That is what normal people do

OP, it sounds like you might be missing a social cue here. If people come in to chat with your friend and take a discrete look around, it’s probably more of a vibe check, not a cleanliness inspection. It is very unlikely someone would cancel a sleepover because someone’s house wasn’t clean. But parents often just feel like it’s part of their due diligence to set eyes on the people and house where they’re leaving their kid.

Also, sounds like your friend just likes to make a good impression. If I have the time/energy I often straighten up before people come over even if it’s just a casual coffee. I like my house to look nice when others come over, but I truly don’t care at all when I go to other people’s houses. I think it’s normal and valid that you don’t so that. And agree that it’s wasted on teenage boys anyway!

Op. Your follow up makes you sound even more kooky. Stop looking for criticism - no one is inspecting or checking out your home.

What’s with all these lazy OPs and their messy homes? There’s another thread similar to this. Clean your homes! Take pride in them!

OP here. I take the approach of this PP:


We don't invite a kid for a sleepover before they've been over to play a few times, and we've met the parents, etc. So they're be no need for a parent to come in when dropping off a kid for a sleepover to inspect for a creepy uncle in the basement. Conversely, of course I wouldn't let my kids sleep over at a friend's house the first time they're going to someone's home. This is a non-issue.

So I like PP, I never have strangers showing up with their kids in the evening.

I don't prep my house "for company" when a few teens we know are going to stay over and order pizza while playing video games. But my friend does. That's what spurred my post. She insisted that it's common to have parents come inside before leaving their kids. Based on the feedback here, I guess I've just been lucky that nobody has ever asked to come inside to "visit" and check out the house before agreeing to going through with the sleepover. I have learned here that other people generally do that. To each her own! I certainly would never presume that an invitation was to anybody but the child, especially when they're teens. So I'll just continue to wave at the host parent from the car.

You're a real treat when you infer stuff that nobody said.

Anonymous wrote:Umm. If my teenaged kid’s friend’s parents, who I knew, came to the door when dropping their kid off for a sleepover, I wouldn’t assume it was an inspection! I’d assume they were just saying hi and maybe wanting to chat or to thank me for hosting? Why on earth would you jump to such a negative conclusion? You must be a real treat!

+1

Umm. If my teenaged kid’s friend’s parents, who I knew, came to the door when dropping their kid off for a sleepover, I wouldn’t assume it was an inspection! I’d assume they were just saying hi and maybe wanting to chat or to thank me for hosting? Why on earth would you jump to such a negative conclusion? You must be a real treat!

We don't invite a kid for a sleepover before they've been over to play a few times, and we've met the parents, etc. So they're be no need for a parent to come in when dropping off a kid for a sleepover to inspect for a creepy uncle in the basement. Conversely, of course I wouldn't let my kids sleep over at a friend's house the first time they're going to someone's home. This is a non-issue.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don't invite them in and I don't not invite them in. They just have the common sense to not get out of the car and walk their teenager to the door. These are people who have known us for years. We've done auction duty together. We've passed out the team t-shirts together. We got to Mass together. We trade tools for Pinewood Derby. My husband coached their kid in soccer. They don't need to come inside of my house to inspect before letting Larlo sleepover.

If you've known them for years it seems like a polite thing to ask if they want to come in for a few minutes. I wouldn't consider it an inspection, just being friendly and polite. No big deal.
I also don't understand thinking there is a covid issue if their kid is spending the night in your house. At that point, you can't really claim you are taking covid precautions with respect to the kid's parents.