nanny

I’d do daycare since you WFH. Who needs to add another child to the house while you work.

I have a nanny who has brought her son with her to work for the past 2 years (him from ages 2 to 4, and my DD ages infant to now 2). (This nanny was our nanny several years ago for our first child (who is now in elementary) -- at that time she did not have a child. We chose her for younger DD because she is AMAZING!!! and wanted HER, even if it meant her son comes too. Also, the rate we pay her is absolutely discounted because she brings her son.)

It has worked out overall. The pros - her son and my younger daughter are best buds -- it's fantastic! It's nice that he's older because it has also helped my daughter learn to share, etc. Another huge pro is obviously the discounted price. Our nanny and her son also absolutely still come even if my kid gets sick. She also loves on and pays attention to our DD plenty -- I know this without a doubt because I'm WFM -- but we knew she would because we knew her so well from when she watched my older daughter years ago.

But the cons - the issue arises when HER SON get sick -- which obviously happens because he's a toddler. His germs either spread to my DD if she comes to work, or nanny has to take off. Also, if my DD is the first to get sick, her son inevitably catches it from my DD, and then the problem of her needing to stay home with him arises...so a sickness from my kid basically leads to days off, but just delayed. Another con -- and this maybe less of an issue if your home is bigger than mine or kiddo has a different personality -- is that he's a loud, rambunctious little boy whom I just can't help but get annoyed with in my space.

Anyways, the obvious choice for you is totally nanny!

How old is your son, OP? Do you plan to have more kids?

IF you are paying a nanny share rate then I would keep the nanny. I absolutely would not pay the going rate of $20-$25/hour for a nanny who was bringing her own child. Also, if you are planning to have another child, that could complicate the situation.

But for now -- it seems like a no brainer if the price is right. Just make sure to agree on a plan for how sick days will be handled if your child or nanny's child is sick.

--former nanny, current nanny employer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny, but find one without a kid. Your nanny won’t come with her kid if your kid is sick.

I think the nannies with kids are more attentive.

lol

I am a stay-at-home mom, and this is what I noticed at the playground. Nannies without kids are on their phones. A young mom is interested in learning activities because her child will also benefit.

I think the novelty of the nanny's baby will wear off quickly for your kid. Sure, he adores him now , but how about when they want to go somewhere or stay longer at the playground but can't because the nanny's baby has to go home for nap 2x/day.
Or once the baby becomes mobile and gets into all of your kid's toys and messes up his lego creation, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny. How is this even a question?

Meh. I wouldn't hire a nanny who would need to bring her child, not unless there's a discount in pay to reflect it, and would still hesitate.

Anonymous wrote:I think a nanny with skid is a nightmare. You get a nanny share and you pay double.

Usually it's a discount if they bring their kid, I think? So it basically is a nanny share. And a good nanny share is hard to find, from what I hear.

If what you're doing (nanny + kid) ain't broke, don't fix it. It's good socialization for your kid with much more limited illness risk. And for what it's worth, I do daycare for my kid, but it's hard if you don't have a second parent around (for pickup, etc.) and you're trying to avoid kid illnesses.


As for what exactly I'd do in your situation, I'd get your husband a new job. Six months sounds nightmarish to me, and I say that as someone from a military family. But that's not really a productive suggestion

I think a nanny with skid is a nightmare. You get a nanny share and you pay double.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny, but find one without a kid. Your nanny won’t come with her kid if your kid is sick.

I think the nannies with kids are more attentive.

lol

Nanny. Usually I’m pro daycare (especially small ones) but the nanny sounds like a great fit and you like her so I’d go with nanny on this situation.

And any sounds great for your situation but I would be a little wary as this arrangement continues. Sure, an eight month old is easy to tow around and sleeps, but what happens when the eight month old turns into a 14 month old? The nanny will be watching her child 90% of the time, not interacting with yours. You remember that stage…

Nanny, assuming she is mostly reliable. You can get burned if nanny has lots of sick days herself, but hopefullly she (and her baby) won't.

Even with a nanny, you want a bench of backup care if at all possible. I realize how hard it is to have something like this lined up, but anything you can do to prep would help. Does your employer offer any reasonable backup care options? Does your nanny have nanny friends that would be willing to take your (healthy) kid on occasion (obviously you'd have to pay the backup care in addition to sick leave for the nanny)? Do you have any parent friends who have leads on backup care?

Anonymous wrote:Nanny but find one without a kid. Your nanny won’t come with her kid if your kid is sick.

Sure she will. Her baby is eight months and I’m sure she knows the risks. It’s like having an older sibling.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny, but find one without a kid. Your nanny won’t come with her kid if your kid is sick.

I think the nannies with kids are more attentive.