Anonymous wrote:Severance aside (which we will do) - what's the best way to fire a nanny when it's not one major mistake but a hundred little ways its not working out? From a logistical side, she's late at least once a week, has taken 8 sick days in 5 months (none covid related) and seems overwhelmed by the reasonable workload (kids laundry left washed but in unfolded piles every week etc). I thought about discussing all these issues with her, but realized that even if she could fix these her instincts on how to handle a situation are almost always wrong or at least not what I would do and most importantly she brings no happiness / fun / silliness to her management of the kids and her relationship with them is just so blah.

She's nice and tries hard - it's just not going to work. I do think this will be a big surprise to her as I haven't directly addressed the logistical issues because i've been debating whether I'd keep her if she fixed them, or if it was unfair to basically put her on notice when it just wasn't going to work.

How would you phrase the need for a change? In our contract I (dumbly) agreed to 8 weeks notice if there's no cause, but given the tardiness and absenteeism there is cause so I'm planning to do 4 weeks severance. So I'll need to point to those issues, but should I keep it to those issues or a more broad story about our needs changing or us not clicking? Should I make the day I let her know the last day or does that feel cruelly sudden and should give her like 2 more weeks coming + the 4 weeks severance? Or does having to come after being tired feel cruel and it should just be an instant goodbye?

I've gently inquired if there's anything going on in case there is some underlying major stressor in her life that would cause these issues and I could support her better. she's said no and shares nothing. Not that it's my business what it is, but if there was some big thing going on in her personal life I'd have tried to support her, but at least as far as I know there isn't anything temporary that would cause all these issues.

Anonymous wrote:You’ve never told her about anything she’s doing wrong and want to fire her? I hope your new nanny quits on you because you sound horrible to work for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - just had to give everyone an update because the timing is funny given i posted this just today. Nanny just told me she's 5.5 mo pregnant! She said she's been really feeling it and hasn't been happy with the job she's doing and she wants to stay on while i find someone else but wants to transition out since she's going to stay home with her baby anyway. So problem solved!

(and if she wanted to stay on for her full pregnancy, I would have kept her....i definitely wouldn't screw over a pregnant woman, i just had no idea she was pregnant!)

Nice to see a mutually satisfying resolution, OP. Good luck finding a new nanny!

Anonymous wrote:OP here - just had to give everyone an update because the timing is funny given i posted this just today. Nanny just told me she's 5.5 mo pregnant! She said she's been really feeling it and hasn't been happy with the job she's doing and she wants to stay on while i find someone else but wants to transition out since she's going to stay home with her baby anyway. So problem solved!

(and if she wanted to stay on for her full pregnancy, I would have kept her....i definitely wouldn't screw over a pregnant woman, i just had no idea she was pregnant!)