Anonymous wrote:Confession time: once I started a thread on here basically posing as someone else and asking for advice about a situation from their point of view, using actual phrases from an email they had sent me (regarding a conflict between us) and staying as true to their argument as possible.

People absolutely eviscerated the OP. It was very satisfying. And actually served as a good gut check for me because I’d reached a point where I was wondering if I was being unreasonable and it was useful to have a bunch of strangers on the internet basically say no, what this person is asking for/complaining about is absolutely unacceptable.

This post sums up DCUM for me. I never take anything on this forum at face value. Actually, I guess it more accurately sums up society. Gaslighting is so prevalent that we have to resort to hiding behind our anonymity to suss out whether we're being gaslighted.

I've written posts about people that I hope they will see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I mean a post regarding a very specific situation.

No? But I never know why people do this. How awkward.

I think most people do it hoping/assuming the person they are writing about will see it. That's the only explanation that makes sense to me. When I see people posting these elaborate stories about their ILs or an argument with a neighbor, I often assume the story is either made up or that they are hoping that they can post it, get lots of favorable feedback, and that the person they are writing about will see it and realize they are wrong.

I will admit to writing about other people on here sometimes, but I change a lot of details so the only thing that is real is the core dispute. So if I wrote about a disagreement with a friend from work, I'd make it someone I know through my kid's school. Or if I'm writing about my sister, I'll make her my friend, or vice versa. I shift ages. I'll incorporate details that make it clear I live in the suburbs (when I actually live in the city) or I'll make myself a widow when actually I'm divorced. As long as these details are not important to the actual thing I'm asking for advice on, it doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I mean a post regarding a very specific situation.

No? But I never know why people do this. How awkward.

Anonymous wrote:I stumbled upon a post that I’m pretty sure was written regarding me.

Maybe they were trying to tell you something, OP.

I've written about a friend I am concerned about - she makes excuses for her husband who needs professional help. I have known her for years, and the situation is getting worse. It is genuinely concerning. I listen to her problems, but it all comes down to him, sadly.

Yes, a post about a specific small event I attended. It was nothing dramatic, but 100% the same event. I never said anything because then she would know that I read this!

No.

But I have written about a situation and the family in question read it and wondered whether someone else had had the exact same issue! I am now more careful about what I post.

Nope and never recognized any family or friends being talked about here … grateful for it … also grateful I have no in law drama so it’s unlikely to be described in detail on DCUM …


I think PP’s experience of recognizing herself in one tale and giving her hot head friend advice to be gentle and kind is priceless … I tend towards that direction anyway but always assumed we are all talking to anonymous strangers …

I’ve posed as various different personalities on here in order to get the perspectives I wanted or needed, tough love included. Some of them, I posted when I was quite young so I had to post saying I was talking about my child or relative instead of myself.

Confession time: once I started a thread on here basically posing as someone else and asking for advice about a situation from their point of view, using actual phrases from an email they had sent me (regarding a conflict between us) and staying as true to their argument as possible.

People absolutely eviscerated the OP. It was very satisfying. And actually served as a good gut check for me because I’d reached a point where I was wondering if I was being unreasonable and it was useful to have a bunch of strangers on the internet basically say no, what this person is asking for/complaining about is absolutely unacceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and I 100% knew who had written it and that it was about me.

The funny part is that the post was complaining about me and asking how to deal with me, and I responded with genuinely kind advice for how to handle the situation. Advice was not taken, of course 😂😂

That’s hysterical! Could you tell it was trending that way by OP’s reaction to the advice?

They were not the OP. It was a long thread about female friendship and I just happened to see her post and knew it was her because it referenced something that had happened earlier that day between us. Plus I know she posts to this site often— it was very obvious.

But yes I could tell she wasn’t going to take the advice. But I could have told you that before I gave it. Extremely stubborn person.

Anonymous wrote:I do think my nosey friend read about my issue with them on this forum and was offended. I don't really care.

You must be lovely.

I do think my nosey friend read about my issue with them on this forum and was offended. I don't really care.

Yes, from our new neighbors the first week we were in our house. Special.

Not about me, but about my very good friend/colleague. I knew immediately who it was about and who wrote it.
I never said anything as it was hurtful and my friend couldn’t have done anything to change the complaint.