Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:56     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.


Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.


Let's be clear about one thing. The USA is a new country. There is no Old Money here. If an American recognizes a name, that person cannot be Old Money. But I grant you that they're less New Money than people who accrued wealth with crypto

- European aristocrat.



Americans aren’t impressed by European standards.

Americans have old money families. Titans of industry. Businessmen. East Coast old money is thing. Southern money is different. Silicon tech new money isn’t the same thing.

East coast old money families send their kids to boarding school and sailing camp. Their kids go to ivies but don’t need a job. They are fresh faced and skew understated/basic preppy. They are the American ideal aesthetic, which is why we have a new thread every flipping week.

If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:50     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.


Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.


Let's be clear about one thing. The USA is a new country. There is no Old Money here. If an American recognizes a name, that person cannot be Old Money. But I grant you that they're less New Money than people who accrued wealth with crypto

- European aristocrat.

Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:48     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Note, I do not mean “noveau riche” with a McMansion.




One or two small tastefully tattoos in discrete area
Tesla charging station in front yard
Subscription to ethical investing lying around your coffee table
Talk about Online Personal trainer to the stars
Leave basket of horse riding equipment visibly near front door
Bumper stickers on car related to horse riding in Montana and skiing in Aspen
Sing the praises of your house help who are like family To you. What would you do without them?


I agree with everything except the tatoos. Tatoos are just vulgar.


I think PP was joking


She was describing a type that lives next to me in Bethesda, so this sh1t is real. Half the people living on my street are like this. But not the tatoos - unless by "discrete area" we're talking about something no one can possibly see in public...
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:44     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Dress like a hobo but be a billionaire. There's no way to fake it without the actual money to back it up
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:35     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Note, I do not mean “noveau riche” with a McMansion.




One or two small tastefully tattoos in discrete area
Tesla charging station in front yard
Subscription to ethical investing lying around your coffee table
Talk about Online Personal trainer to the stars
Leave basket of horse riding equipment visibly near front door
Bumper stickers on car related to horse riding in Montana and skiing in Aspen
Sing the praises of your house help who are like family To you. What would you do without them?


I agree with everything except the tatoos. Tatoos are just vulgar.


I think PP was joking
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:29     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.


Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:29     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.


I think you may have just seen a regular person, PP


Nope. Rich AF. I know for other reasons (I know of her through an activity our kids are in together, though we've never met) but even if I didn't, I'd know she was rich. That's the whole point. There was nothing special about her clothes or appearance, she just gives off this vibe. You can tell. That's why a regular person can't recreate "understated wealthy" -- it's not in the clothes or the hair, it's something else that is unattainable to those of us who are not wealthy.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:29     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Note, I do not mean “noveau riche” with a McMansion.




One or two small tastefully tattoos in discrete area
Tesla charging station in front yard
Subscription to ethical investing lying around your coffee table
Talk about Online Personal trainer to the stars
Leave basket of horse riding equipment visibly near front door
Bumper stickers on car related to horse riding in Montana and skiing in Aspen
Sing the praises of your house help who are like family To you. What would you do without them?


I agree with everything except the tatoos. Tatoos are just vulgar.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:24     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.


I think you may have just seen a regular person, PP
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:21     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. It’s not about the clothes. You can’t buy whatever it is that five generations of wealth and social superiority gives you.

You know those studies about how starvation in the grandparents’ generation affects the birth weight of the grandchildren? It’s the opposite of that.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:20     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
-Lease the newest Audi S6 every year
-buy a shack in Bethesda for 1.6 million that has great schools
-buy and trade Rolexes
-talk like Elizabeth Holmes
-probably dress like her too.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:18     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.


I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:13     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Ugh, cringing for you, Op.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:12     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:Note, I do not mean “noveau riche” with a McMansion.




One or two small tastefully tattoos in discrete area
Tesla charging station in front yard
Subscription to ethical investing lying around your coffee table
Talk about Online Personal trainer to the stars
Leave basket of horse riding equipment visibly near front door
Bumper stickers on car related to horse riding in Montana and skiing in Aspen
Sing the praises of your house help who are like family To you. What would you do without them?
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2022 09:07     Subject: It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Drive a top of the line Volvo or Mercedes from 10-20 years ago.

Wear high end basics like a gray cashmere sweater with slacks or jeans. Good leather loafers/ballet flats.

Wear the same expensive yet understated jewelry everyday.

Invest in a high quality European coat. Wear it for decades.

High quality accessories.

Minimal makeup.



This except the car. A few years old is good not 20.

And a straight bobbed haircut.


I know legit super duper old money millionaires whose only “work” entails serving on charitable boards. They live in NYC with houses in CT and Manchester, VT, etc. They have really old cars in pristine condition at their country homes and beach houses. Their fun city cars include 80s era Porsches and the like. Super old range rovers, suburbans, woodies, etc.

Wealthy people buy high quality stuff and keep it in pristine condition. It’s their thing.