Women: we want equality
Men: ok then initiate
Women: …

I have nothing against you initiating. But what I would prefer is for you to give a couple subtle signals that my initiating /taking you is what you want.

As long as you pay for the coffee.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe in the year 2022 this is even a question for adults 30+. Please feel free to communicate your thoughts, desires, feelings…

I’m appalled that in this century of equal rights, people are worried about who’s paying for dates. It’s a two way street folks, give and take. Not every date needs to be a five course meal with wine service. Enjoyed many picnics in parks while dating, eating street food at festivals and dirty water dogs at baseball games.

Initiating a date is the best way for an interested person to share their interests. Why’s it always about money and he must pay. Get off your ass and ask that man out, even if it’s just for coffee and conversation. Show some initiative.

The best dates enjoyed in my 30’s were:
A sunset sail on the Woodwind in Annapolis
A picnic on the lawn and seeing the DC monuments at dusk
A nationals baseball game, sitting in cheap seats drinking beer and eating hot dogs.
Going to a Pride Parade and eating street food.
Wandering Old Town Alexandria and sampling beers
Afternoon in Annapolis kayaking
Countless coffees in coffeehouses in MD/VA/DC

Dating needn’t be expensive or over the top, it should be enjoyable and a means to express one’s interests, hobbies and likes.

Yes but keep in mind the ironclad DCUM rule that whoever asks for the date is the one who pays and therefore it's in your financial interest never to ask for a date, make him do it.

Anonymous wrote:Particularly asking straight men, 30+

Are there any situations when a woman should initiate anything, whether asking on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date, or any interaction early on in dating, or any indication of progressing into dating/exclusivity/relationship?

Does any kind of “nudge” EVER increase your interest or enable a woman to stand out from other options, or does it push you away? Should the woman always sit tight and wait to be pursued?

OP -- you need to ask yourself if you want to be with a man who wouldn't want you to initiate anything.

Man here: OP, just sit tight and wait to be pursued...and you'll be reading relationship forums for the rest of your life wondering why you couldn't find a man.

Man here. I prefer if the woman kisses me first. After that I'll take over everything else.

There shouldn’t be any pushing and nudging from either party.

Anonymous wrote:Particularly asking straight men, 30+

Are there any situations when a woman should initiate anything, whether asking on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date, or any interaction early on in dating, or any indication of progressing into dating/exclusivity/relationship?

Does any kind of “nudge” EVER increase your interest or enable a woman to stand out from other options, or does it push you away? Should the woman always sit tight and wait to be pursued?

It depends, if you want men to pay for the date and the ring, and have marriage and children with you then you can’t but if you are equals with no expectations then either can ask first.