Is it your stepson, OP?

OP, my son is U14 MLS next level. I would have my son skip the tournament and him attend the baptism. We are in a highly competitive program, but our coach would certainly understand this and if he found out our DS and DH skipped a major life event for a sibling in which out of country relatives attended he would be upset with us.

I get the logistics of baptisms. Our church only does it on certain days of the year. My in-laws live in Europe, so we had to had to schedule ours months ahead of time. Life happens in between, sure, but your son’s U16 soccer isn’t more important.

My son has missed tournaments this year for an injury, a funeral, and a family vacation. We are upfront with our coach about conflicts and we do not abuse it. My son is still a starter, he has not been punished in any way.

You know what to do.

Is your son being potentially recruited to play by college or professional recruiters? If not, he can skip a tournament.

And certainly the father doesn't need to be there.

How is this even a question?

Is the son your child as well, or step-son?

OP here to clarify.
Subject line should say son. I also have a daughter but she is going to baptism. Baptism was scheduled months ago so my parents can purchase flights. Plus, baptisms are a big deal in my culture and it is traditional to host a luncheon afterwards so we had to book restaurant and send invitations. This was all scheduled well before we knew about tournament.
Son is 15. Husband is of the same faith as me and his entire family will be there.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the sports tournament would not happen in my family. Full stop.

Years from now, you will remember the christening - you will have family pictures and talk about the day. I guarantee you that your child and husband will not remember that exact sports tournament years from now.

+1. Can’t believe this is a discussion in a religious family. Not possible. Unless your husband is not of the same religion as you are in which case his not attending isn’t a religious issue but one of not respecting the importance of this to your religious life.

Best way to get them to back off is to admit that they are right, which they are. Tell them you are pissed, too, and that them continuing to harp on it is only going to make it more painful for you.

Anonymous wrote:You should have scheduled better. This was easily avoidable.

Not necessarily. Depending on OP's church--some church's only have specific days and times they perform christenings.

When I was a kid, I missed my great-grandmother's 100th birthday for a sports tournament. I don't know why my mother let me do that at 16. Decades later, I was looking at the video and photos with family. I wished that I had been at the birthday party and spent that important milestone with family. As you may have guessed, the tournament has yielded zero levels of importance in my life.

Skip the tournament. No one will care or notice, and there will be thousands more just like it in the life of a travel sports family

Anonymous wrote:Weird that it's a daughter in the subject and a son in the post.

I noticed that too. My guess is OP was going to change daughter to son (or vice versa) to help hide identity but then forgot to carry through.

Anonymous wrote:Weird that it's a daughter in the subject and a son in the post.

Yeah, I don't understand this at all. OP, do you have a son missing or daughter?

Strange thing to confuse particularly if you don't have a daughter.

OP, the sports tournament would not happen in my family. Full stop.

Years from now, you will remember the christening - you will have family pictures and talk about the day. I guarantee you that your child and husband will not remember that exact sports tournament years from now.

Can you imagine when your child looks back at photos and asks where his dad and brother are? Oh, they had a soccer game. Awful. Family comes first.

Anonymous wrote:You should have scheduled better. This was easily avoidable.

Maybe the tickets were purchased before the game was scheduled?

Anyway OP I would make very clear to my husband that I wanted him to be there, independent of what my parents thought, and I would make clear that if he misses the christening I would be hurt because family rituals are really important to me and it shows that he isn’t prioritizing family rituals. You can’t control him but you can make very clear how his actions impact you and how you’ll feel. Of course you light feel differently than I would in your situation but that is how I would feel. And im not religious. Family rituals are just really important to me.

Yes I think it is bad that they’re missing it.

Tell your parents to back off by simply telling them to back off you don’t need them harassing you about it.