Anonymous wrote:Amazed by how uptight and obsessive he is about cleaning something that’s dirty, e.g. kids spill on the carpet, or bleaching out a stain on a towel, and yet he is so messy/untidy at the same time.

Same here! He’s a messy/completely disorganized germaphobe.

Anonymous wrote:DH always has to poop at the worst times, right when we need to leave the house to be somewhere.

My DH always has to poop on mornings when he’s in charge of getting the baby ready. Can’t wait until his WFH day starts. Miraculously on weekends when I am getting the baby ready this regularity is not observed…

DH can time his arrival home from work within a minute or two of the kids going to bed. I generally get them to bed between 8:30 and 9:30, but it’s not exactly the same time every day.
I get through bedtime and go downstairs looking forward to having the TV to myself, and right when I sit down, he walks through the door.

DW has the superpower to appear out of thin air anywhere in the house. She is completely noiseless. She just materializes. This is not an unusual event at all; happens frequently. It is so sudden tho, it causes me to scream or jump. She doesn’t mean to frighten me, she’s really very sweet. It’s just her superpower. Like Padre Pio. I live with it. I think she’ll be beatified someday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manages to zip his fly up only 10% of the time.

It is a superpower your husband is too weak to zip? Crazy.

I really wish I knew. It's like selective ADD.

Anonymous wrote:Manages to zip his fly up only 10% of the time.

It is a superpower your husband is too weak to zip? Crazy.

Anonymous wrote:DH can sense something is bothering me before I even realize it!

He also has the ability to always make the kids smile when they’re upset.

Aww. The last bit is especially useful, but I can see how the first one could be annoying depending on how he goes about it.

Your wife starts running the shower the moment you leave the house. Check your water bill.

DW is able to have conversations with me about things she wants to do in her head without my presence. And when I am surprised at something, she reminds me that we had talked about it and I agreed.

Freakishly on top of things - you can't "forget" to do something - he will know and call you on it - we all live in fear! (I'm joking - kind of)

He has perfected the art of leaving socks on every surface of our house AND separates all our lights from darks - can run a proper bleach load. I guess that’s balance?

My DW has highly selective vision.

Certain objects -- mainly items she has pulled from the fridge or cupboard as well as the doors she has opened in order to access them -- become instantly invisible to her once they have served their purpose.

I know these objects still exist in real time, because I'm the one that gets to put them away and close the doors.

DH always anticipates how I’m going to respond to something he says, and sometimes he’ll say it before I do just to mess around with me.

I’m married to Dr Strange - the man can legit manipulate time.

Unfortunately he uses this power mostly to ensure we are always running late.

If we need to leave by 730, he’ll fast forward time to 815.

If I wise up and tell him we need to leave at 630 in hopes he’ll actually be ready by 730, he’ll thwart my evil plan by fast forwarding time to 845.

He also uses this power when cleaning the house. If he is responsible for cleaning the kitchen and starts at 9am, he’ll fast forward the entire day and finish cleaning up around 9pm. If he is responsible for cleaning multiple rooms, forget it - I’ll lose an entire week.

And I swear he is fast forwarding my aging, because I have a LOT more lines on my face now than I did when we got married a couple years ago.

Still keeping my fingers crossed that Samuel L Jackson shows up and asks him to join his superhero team, so I can get in and hopefully upgrade to a Thor or an Iron Man.

Anonymous wrote:My DH can fall asleep in seconds. It’s a superpower I would love to have.

Mine too! It's like a switch.

Mine also gets results when he talks to Verizon. He has a lot of frustrating household habits (can't find his wallet, car has no gas, etc) but I despise talking to Verizon so I really appreciate that quality.