Where are his trips?

** does he frequent the Blue Marlin bar at Hotel Del Rey?

does he frequent the Blue Marlin bad at Hotel Del Rey?

OMG just divorce him.

In addition to the possibility of sex tourism with female prostitutes, I’d be nervous about this being a Brokeback Mountain situation with a male “friend.”

Look for more evidence if you're not 100% convinced.

NP. This is a classic case where the cover-up is actually more offensive than the crime. Personally, assuming you have children, I think I could stay married to a guy whose only cheating occurred far, far away with women he'd never see again and who used protection. But the absurd lies...c'mon now.

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Your husband is probably lying. But, when I lived in Japan, the local condoms were too small for most western men. So when some white guy went back home to visit family, he was often given several requests to buy condoms in bulk to bring back to Japan for his white/black friends.

DP. I do agree that condoms in some countries are not great and don't have a range of sizes. My DH knows this from experience. But I wonder if the friends the OP's DH talks about even really exist. I would think that if OP and her DH have a good relationship, he would have said something to her about the purchases at some point much earlier, so she would know about them and would not assume he was cheating. He's either a complete idiot who isn't cheating but thought he needed to hide his friends' condom requests from his wife...or he's cheating. My money's on the latter, unfortunately.

Ok. Your husband is probably lying. But, when I lived in Japan, the local condoms were too small for most western men. So when some white guy went back home to visit family, he was often given several requests to buy condoms in bulk to bring back to Japan for his white/black friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever use the condoms with you? What was his explanation?

He never used them with me. He said he got them for his guy friends who live abroad! hah. Asked him why he didn't say "hey i'm getting condoms for so and so" ... if it were me I would be super transparent so my spouse wouldn't think anything nefarious going on. Also just thought about this but if he got them for a friend why would he archive the order so it doesn't come up unless you search?

Now that’s some bs. Does he think you’re a blooming idiot?

Lying is not the same thing as gaslighting. You may as well say he’s love bombing you.

I can tell you that the rubbers in India aren't good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever use the condoms with you? What was his explanation?

He never used them with me. He said he got them for his guy friends who live abroad! hah. Asked him why he didn't say "hey i'm getting condoms for so and so" ... if it were me I would be super transparent so my spouse wouldn't think anything nefarious going on. Also just thought about this but if he got them for a friend why would he archive the order so it doesn't come up unless you search?

New poster. OP, re: the reply above -- So were you already aware he had these "guy friends who live abroad" before you discovered the condom buys? Had he ever mentioned these friends prior to using them as an excuse for purchasing condoms just before trips? Or was this the first time he magically mentioned their convenient existence?

I'd wager these friends don't exist and never existed. If you think they actually do exist, I still think the condoms were at least in part for himself. If these other men exist, they likely pick up women together, or go to brothels together etc.

OP, your FIRST stop is to the doctor's office to get a complete panel of all STD tests. Immediately. Some can take years to show symptoms but will turn up on tests, so you need testing now. But that's for your health and peace of mind; if you're clear and OK that's good for you-- but it does NOT mean he did not cheat.

What other reasons do you have to believe he's cheated? Because there must be other things that have made you suspicious if you think about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever use the condoms with you? What was his explanation?

He never used them with me. He said he got them for his guy friends who live abroad! hah. Asked him why he didn't say "hey i'm getting condoms for so and so" ... if it were me I would be super transparent so my spouse wouldn't think anything nefarious going on. Also just thought about this but if he got them for a friend why would he archive the order so it doesn't come up unless you search?

It seems you and your husband are from a culture or country where sex outside of marriage is taboo so maybe he thought you'd be angry about him facilitating it.

I actually think he's lying to you but just saying peole think through things differently.

As for your question, you aren't going to make him confess. So your options are to stay or divorce.. In either scenario get a full STD panel

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever use the condoms with you? What was his explanation?

He never used them with me. He said he got them for his guy friends who live abroad! hah. Asked him why he didn't say "hey i'm getting condoms for so and so" ... if it were me I would be super transparent so my spouse wouldn't think anything nefarious going on. Also just thought about this but if he got them for a friend why would he archive the order so it doesn't come up unless you search?

Foreign countries have condoms too! Where was he going?

He said the US ones are better lol. Don't want to specify country but it was not European/Western.

He bought them for someone living in a country without condom access?

Or bought them in a non Western country?