Anonymous wrote:NP. I just want to send you a hug. I was a similar kid, and then many years later I had a similar kid.

Stick to your plan. Keep reaching out with love, even when you don’t feel it. (I didn’t always feel it). This is a phase, it is not forever. Your child is not a “done deal.” Get him help, get yourself help even if your first appointment will be months away. Be good to yourself. Your kid depends on you, so self care is your job. And be kind to yourself.

depression and mental illness are not phases.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I just want to send you a hug. I was a similar kid, and then many years later I had a similar kid.

Stick to your plan. Keep reaching out with love, even when you don’t feel it. (I didn’t always feel it). This is a phase, it is not forever. Your child is not a “done deal.” Get him help, get yourself help even if your first appointment will be months away. Be good to yourself. Your kid depends on you, so self care is your job. And be kind to yourself.

+1000. Sending huge hugs to you, OP.

NP. I just want to send you a hug. I was a similar kid, and then many years later I had a similar kid.

Stick to your plan. Keep reaching out with love, even when you don’t feel it. (I didn’t always feel it). This is a phase, it is not forever. Your child is not a “done deal.” Get him help, get yourself help even if your first appointment will be months away. Be good to yourself. Your kid depends on you, so self care is your job. And be kind to yourself.

Op it sounds like your doing the right thing. Stay strong .

You are doing the right thing. While he is getting treatment the most important thing you can do is self care. Do not feel guilty.

We have a child in treatment, was recently discharged to a lower level of care and we continue our frailly and parent groups. What you are experiencing is totally normal and expected. It will get better. Do not feel guilty. Did I say that already? I will say it 10 more times.

DO you have a significant other? You need to do your part of the program together and be on the same page. It can't be just one parent. All of you need to work the program, this isn't an individual disease, it is a family disease. This isn't an teenager acting out, he didn't decide, hey I am going to be like this. Many of the posters on here will believe that until they have to go through this themselves.

Don't feel guilty, go out to dinners, while he is in treatment, take care of yourself. you can't help someone if you are n to helping yourself.

The first time through a treatment program might not be enough. Hopefully it is a dual diagnose program. Talk to people about it, go to support groups, listen to podcasts etc. you will be surprised how many of us are going through this or have bene there. Don't feel guilty.

There will be a day when you have your son back, it takes time, it takes a lot of patience. Don't expect it to be all fine as soon as they are released. It might be a good idea, and the treatment center will guide you to look at next level care.

Don't feel guilty, you are taking the first step to having your child back.

OP, my DS is in residential for the second time. You are absolutely making the best decision you can right now with what is in front of you. Get your own help and take a big breath while you have the opportunity. This is not a punishment for your DS, but a lifeline. He will say he’s angry at you, hates you, will do anything to come home. That is anxiety, depression, avoidance, maybe addiction talking. Separate your need for confirmation that this is the right step from his wild emotions about the process. It will take time.

Anonymous wrote:Just stopping by to provide support to you OP. Thinking of you and your child.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe in your earlier thread, several people encouraged you to join the WTRS (Wilderness Therapy and Residential Treatment Search Support) Facebook page. Have you done that? It is a great resource. In my opinion, this situation is not going to right itself without drastic intervention--beyond outpatient treatment.

My request to join is still pending. Hoping to get accepted today.

Make sure you answered the required questions to be admitted to the group. If you didn’t answer the questions when you did your request, they will not admit you.

BTDT mom here. Kid was violent, using drugs, cutting, suicide attempts that resulted in some long term medical damage. Kid was hospitalized many times and went through two rounds of residential. Honestly when you can’t get them the help they need there is no reason to feel guilty for sending them to residential treatment. It’s not like you have options.

FWIW, mine is doing well. He still has psychiatric problems, sees a therapist and takes medication. But he graduated from HS, got a job, bought a car and it’s been over two years since an inpatient admission. Had it not been for residential, I think he’d be dead. It was expensive and we wiped out bank account to pay for it - insurance paid a fraction of the cost. But I love my kid so much and feel so lucky that we found treatment that worked that I have no regrets. But even if it had t worked I’d have no regrets because i would be able to say I tried everything.

If you haven’t found a place yet, good luck. We used RT before covid and the teen mental health crisis and before there were wait lists. It was unbelievably hard to find a program that would take a kid with my son’s profile.

Just stopping by to provide support to you OP. Thinking of you and your child.

Anonymous wrote:I believe in your earlier thread, several people encouraged you to join the WTRS (Wilderness Therapy and Residential Treatment Search Support) Facebook page. Have you done that? It is a great resource. In my opinion, this situation is not going to right itself without drastic intervention--beyond outpatient treatment.

My request to join is still pending. Hoping to get accepted today.

You are doing the right thing. One of the most important and valuable things you can do in life is know when to stop and change course.

The wrong thing would be to keep insisting outpatient would work.

You are both in a place that no matter how much out patient therapy you get, you won't able to make any meaningful progress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you follow Kristina Kuzmic on FB? If not - check out her posts about her oldest son, who is now through the worst and on the other side. So many commenters on her posts have been through this too. You might find reading those helpful.

OP here. I'll check it out. Thanks

PP who posted the above here - Kristina and her son did online Q & As about their experience. It's worth watching part 1 first and then part 2. Part 2 was posted on January 2 and the link to Part 1 is in the comments so jusg scrol down to January 3 and click on the comments to Part1.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are taking good care of your son, but please take care of yourself as well.

There are total strangers out here wishing the best for you.

Thank you so much.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. Any chance he’s been molested as a child?

Not at all. Not unless something happened that he didn't tell me, & pray that's not the case. I'm a single mom, so it's just us.