Anonymous wrote:Some very helpful perspectives in this thread, but it really is different for everyone. The tips from the professor are really useful, in our experience. Seeing a lot of mentions of sunshine and warm weather, but that’s not necessarily a deal breaker. Our oldest (with anxiety and depression) is at a northern univ and doesn’t feel that the long and cold winters are much of a factor.

The distance from home IS an issue, but mostly for us as parents. (Flights are fast and reasonable priced but WE would feel better if we could drive there easily.)

We as parents also think that our child would have had a smoother path at a smaller university: less competition for everything, less bureaucracy, easier access to on-campus care. Even a smaller school or program within the chosen university can help. When you are slogging it out among thousands of undergrad econ majors in the biggest college at the univ, for instance, it can be hard not to feel a little lost.

There is, however, much to be said for supporting an 18-year-old’s decision on where to go, even if it makes things harder on you. Your child doesn’t/shouldn’t give up autonomy or independence as a new adult just because of mental health issues. Parents need to walk a careful line with advice and support so that your child can grow and your relationship stays strong.

Thanks so much for posting this. I posted above at 03:49, and appreciate your perspective as parents who are helping your adult child navigate. I think these are good considerations to talk about as a family. This is a great, thoughtful thread, thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you go about choosing and applying for colleges if your DC deals with depression or other mental health issues? Thanks

My child has psychosis. I am limiting his search to schools within 3 hrs of MD. I feel better if I can visit easily to make sure he is okay. He is going to need to find a new psychiatrist if he does go out of state though.

Good choice. However, tele-psychiatry is a game changer.

When I’m at my house in Delaware I cant tele psych with my Virginia doctor because of licensing. You would need someone licensed in both states

Some very helpful perspectives in this thread, but it really is different for everyone. The tips from the professor are really useful, in our experience. Seeing a lot of mentions of sunshine and warm weather, but that’s not necessarily a deal breaker. Our oldest (with anxiety and depression) is at a northern univ and doesn’t feel that the long and cold winters are much of a factor.

The distance from home IS an issue, but mostly for us as parents. (Flights are fast and reasonable priced but WE would feel better if we could drive there easily.)

We as parents also think that our child would have had a smoother path at a smaller university: less competition for everything, less bureaucracy, easier access to on-campus care. Even a smaller school or program within the chosen university can help. When you are slogging it out among thousands of undergrad econ majors in the biggest college at the univ, for instance, it can be hard not to feel a little lost.

There is, however, much to be said for supporting an 18-year-old’s decision on where to go, even if it makes things harder on you. Your child doesn’t/shouldn’t give up autonomy or independence as a new adult just because of mental health issues. Parents need to walk a careful line with advice and support so that your child can grow and your relationship stays strong.

Anonymous wrote:My DD with anxiety and depression picked a smaller school less than 3 hours from home. That has been helpful. She has continued with her regular psychologist and psychiatrist from home (telehealth). She tried the on-campus counseling but it was not as effective for her and this semester there are just not enough counselors to go around for all the student demand. For all of us, it incredibly important to know that we could get there quickly if needed, with no flights.

This is what we will be doing my DD junior with depression and anxiety. She will be close

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you go about choosing and applying for colleges if your DC deals with depression or other mental health issues? Thanks

My child has psychosis. I am limiting his search to schools within 3 hrs of MD. I feel better if I can visit easily to make sure he is okay. He is going to need to find a new psychiatrist if he does go out of state though.

This. Not too far in distance.

This was helpful for my DS who deals with anxiety. We were a little over an hour away. He tried really hard not to come home too often. When things were getting tough for him my DH and I would go and take him to breakfast and just hang for an hour or so. I think just knowing this was available to him was huge.

Anonymous wrote:DD who struggled with depression in HS did not want a pressure cooker environment in college. Instead of reaching for the most selective college she could get into, she built a good list of target and safety schools where, in her words, she could feel like "one of the smart kids." That has been confidence-building for her and has allowed her to focus equally on academics and social/emotional growth. We also made sure she had a therapist lined up near school before she started.

+1 Being able to feel confident about their academic ability has been really helpful for some kids I know in this situation.

Also give thought to what gives them some joy in life. If they're outdoorsy, there are many schools not too far from here that are close to hiking or the water. If they're more of a city person, look for that. What clubs might it be important for them to have access to?

Smaller schools are probably a better idea, too. They're more likely to see the same kids from semester to semester in their classes, which makes it easier to make friends. Also, professors are more likely to get to know them, care about them, and notice if they're struggling. Washington College and Muhlenberg are known for taking especially good care of their students, although they're both kind of isolated, too.

Be sure to let whatever support services their college has know of their potential struggles.

Anonymous wrote:NP here and I agree with all the advice in theory; however, my DD with depression is from Southern California and now at the University of Chicago, where she likes the classes, the kids, the dorm, and the snow.

So I remain confused. I'm just putting this situation out here, as the pressure cooker hard school in sh*tty weather didn't make her mental health worse. Neither did covid, or the crime in the community.

I did get her a Philips Wake-Up light and also a light for SAD. But I think that for her, maybe getting out of high school and starting fresh, and moving away and trying out adulting, has helped her more with her mental health than I would have realized beforehand.

Thank you for posting this, as I have a senior who has applied to some large schools in the north, and is excited to possibly attend.

NP here and I agree with all the advice in theory; however, my DD with depression is from Southern California and now at the University of Chicago, where she likes the classes, the kids, the dorm, and the snow.

So I remain confused. I'm just putting this situation out here, as the pressure cooker hard school in sh*tty weather didn't make her mental health worse. Neither did covid, or the crime in the community.

I did get her a Philips Wake-Up light and also a light for SAD. But I think that for her, maybe getting out of high school and starting fresh, and moving away and trying out adulting, has helped her more with her mental health than I would have realized beforehand.

Wherever they get most sun, aren’t in the bottom 25% academically, not getting drowned in debt, are in a bigger town, can easily take a economical bus, car, plane or train trip to home within 6 hours.

DD who struggled with depression in HS did not want a pressure cooker environment in college. Instead of reaching for the most selective college she could get into, she built a good list of target and safety schools where, in her words, she could feel like "one of the smart kids." That has been confidence-building for her and has allowed her to focus equally on academics and social/emotional growth. We also made sure she had a therapist lined up near school before she started.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you go about choosing and applying for colleges if your DC deals with depression or other mental health issues? Thanks

My child has psychosis. I am limiting his search to schools within 3 hrs of MD. I feel better if I can visit easily to make sure he is okay. He is going to need to find a new psychiatrist if he does go out of state though.

This. Not too far in distance.

Sunshine states! All the Vitamin D

My DD with anxiety and depression picked a smaller school less than 3 hours from home. That has been helpful. She has continued with her regular psychologist and psychiatrist from home (telehealth). She tried the on-campus counseling but it was not as effective for her and this semester there are just not enough counselors to go around for all the student demand. For all of us, it incredibly important to know that we could get there quickly if needed, with no flights.

Reposting here from the previous page because I think this is important for families to know:

Be careful: increasing numbers of students want and need to access counseling and other mental health services (and this goes back to before the pandemic). Even well-funded, selective schools may have trouble meeting campus mental health needs, especially at difficult times of the year (midterms, etc.). Students need to seek care promptly and self-advocate; they can even be dropped from counseling schedules for missed appointments just because there are so many other students in line for help.

Don't depend only on the campus counseling center, no matter how good it is, if DC has a clinical mental-health history. Make sure you have other, additional supports in place and on call, especially a prescribing psychiatrist (likely overbooked in a university environment) and an emergency therapist, telehealth service, or default red-button helper. This is for weekend or evening issues when DC might not prefer to activate the campus emergency systems: it can take several steps to get emergency mental-health help after hours at college, and in some cases means having to start by calling the campus police (which many students might not want to do). Colleges want to help, but there never seem to be enough resources to go around.

And for those whose DCs don't have a mental-health history: don't overestimate resilience and stability in a new environment. Make sure before they leave that DC knows how to recognize signs of depression, anxiety, and crisis "so they can help their friends" (when you're really teaching them also for themselves). Make sure when they arrive at college that they know exactly how to contact the counseling services, including nights and weekends, what services are available, and how in-demand they are (so that they do not wait to ask for help and then find themselves without a place). Stay in touch; be prepared to listen; and encourage intervention at the first signs of trouble. The less assumption that everyone is fine, and the more routine we make conversation about mental-health care, the better off everyone will be.

- College prof

What are the benefits of using on-campus mental health resources as opposed to using current ones? My DS already does telehealth with both his psychiatrist and counselor. Help me understand why he should switch if what one of the PPs wrote is true about his psychiatrist being able to prescribe his current meds out-of-state. He is in 11th grade right now so we are just starting to look at different colleges. Thanks!