Anonymous
Post 02/28/2022 10:04     Subject: Re:Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Update.

Neither of us had texted each other after the last exchange and nearly a week went by. He sent a text yesterday asking how was my week. I replied and we had a friendly banter.

I playfully suggested we should "role play" a counseling technique sometime that we were talking about. He said he'd love that and asked, "what are your plans tomorrow"? I said I have my kids Sun-Tues and free after that. Then, he never replied.

Is this guy just flaky? It's weird that since I was not available the very next night, he never followed up.


Also, discussing counseling techniques after one date seems a bit odd and very unsexy. Are you a therapist so it came up in talk about work?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2022 10:00     Subject: Re:Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Update.

Neither of us had texted each other after the last exchange and nearly a week went by. He sent a text yesterday asking how was my week. I replied and we had a friendly banter.

I playfully suggested we should "role play" a counseling technique sometime that we were talking about. He said he'd love that and asked, "what are your plans tomorrow"? I said I have my kids Sun-Tues and free after that. Then, he never replied.

Is this guy just flaky? It's weird that since I was not available the very next night, he never followed up.


Maybe he's not a planner and prefers to be spontaneous and it's not going to work with your custody schedule. Or he is looking for something casual. Or he is juggling too many women and doens't have any free time.

That said, I have dated men like this and only once did it go anywhere, and that was due to an extremely unusual circumstance. I wouldn't put too much effort into this.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2022 09:00     Subject: Navigating post-second date
So he keeps asking you when you are available, and you aren’t (understandably) because of your kids.

Tough logistics.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2022 08:02     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Honestly, he just doesnt sound all that interested.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2022 05:57     Subject: Re:Navigating post-second date
OP here. Update.

Neither of us had texted each other after the last exchange and nearly a week went by. He sent a text yesterday asking how was my week. I replied and we had a friendly banter.

I playfully suggested we should "role play" a counseling technique sometime that we were talking about. He said he'd love that and asked, "what are your plans tomorrow"? I said I have my kids Sun-Tues and free after that. Then, he never replied.

Is this guy just flaky? It's weird that since I was not available the very next night, he never followed up.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2022 08:46     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously if you want to see him why don't you just ask him? I don't understand why people agonize over things with easy solutions.


Everything I have read says that if a guy is truly interested, he will take the lead. True?


Stop reading. Start using your intuition.

The fact that you have children in custody frequently complicates this from his perspective. If your only availability was Thursday and he knows you have your kids this weekend, he might not have been available Thursday and assumes you aren't free this weekend, which may be why he didn't ask. Being respectful of your weekend time with kids is actually a good sign.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 21:34     Subject: Re:Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:What do you want to do OP? Do what you want to do, not what he is expecting you to do.


Exactly. If he’s interested there’s not much you can do wrong.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 21:22     Subject: Re:Navigating post-second date
What do you want to do OP? Do what you want to do, not what he is expecting you to do.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 21:17     Subject: Navigating post-second date
I don’t agree that OP’s response was cold or lukewarm. She told him she had a great time and that was his opportunity to pin down the next date but he chose not to and didn’t ask her out three days later.

It’s clear that he would rather do something else than go on a date with her?

OP, what was his response when you gave him your schedule?
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 21:04     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously if you want to see him why don't you just ask him? I don't understand why people agonize over things with easy solutions.


Everything I have read says that if a guy is truly interested, he will take the lead. True?


No. I asked my husband out on our second date. He later said I olive you first, asked me to move out of state with him, proposed. Sometimes they need a little nudge.


Not so much a nudge, but to know their interest is reciprocated. Not saying you need to call him or text him daily or even ask for a date. But he was the one to say he had a great time first , your response to seeing him again was lukewarm at best . He probably feels you are not that into him. Which is fine if you're not, but if you're excited about him, show it a.little.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 20:13     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously if you want to see him why don't you just ask him? I don't understand why people agonize over things with easy solutions.


Everything I have read says that if a guy is truly interested, he will take the lead. True?


No. I asked my husband out on our second date. He later said I olive you first, asked me to move out of state with him, proposed. Sometimes they need a little nudge.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 20:12     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What was your response when he asked what your week was like? Did you say you’re free or do you have your kids?


OP: It was in person and I told him I'm free Thursday night this week. I said I have my kids this weekend...but sometimes have a sitter come for a few hours after they're asleep, if I decide to go out.


Ok. He’s probably busy Thursday and maybe he’ll ask you out next week.,
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 19:43     Subject: Navigating post-second date
What did he say after you gave him your schedule?
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 18:39     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:From the information provided, it doesn’t sound like you are interested. That’s how I’d interpret your responses. Why not respond asking him a question? Your last text was close ended. Get a conversation going and see what happens. You are past the age of being passive.


She replied and he could have asked a question then, no?



Her replies were a bit cold. Anyway it seems op is interested in playing little girl games so this probably isn't the guy for her.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2022 18:35     Subject: Navigating post-second date
Anonymous wrote:From the information provided, it doesn’t sound like you are interested. That’s how I’d interpret your responses. Why not respond asking him a question? Your last text was close ended. Get a conversation going and see what happens. You are past the age of being passive.


She replied and he could have asked a question then, no?