Anonymous wrote:I’m fine either way. Just dinner is fine.

Same but we were also invited to dinner once that was like from The Office “the osso bucco just has to braise for 4 hours” “4 hours from now or 4 hours from like 3 o’clock?”

It obviously wasn’t exactly like that but they hadn’t even started on *anything* and then everyone could hear them arguing over whether or not the fish was done. It was AWFUL. The “nibbles” were long gone at that point.

Then after dinner the hostess offered coffee and DH said yes - I could have killed him right there!!!!!!! That took forever also

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
With some friends but not others, OP. My closest American friends are non-appetizer people because they're healthy eaters and don't want to waste calories on the usual appetizer fare.

However, I have other friends, from my home country, who culturally can't invite people over without an appetizer. Usually it's very small portions, but it's to make the point that we're having a dinner party and that it's not just an every day dinner. Last time it was smoked salmon on little pieces of puffed pastry for one friend, and my other friend just really likes artisan saucisson.

So... know your audience?

Me again. I just realized that it's because none of us drink alcohol on a regular basis. So we just talk, then have dinner. And for my compatriots, we eat appetizers while drinking non-alcoholic drinks with one family, and alcohol with the other. If drinks are served before the meal, then of course it does seem strange to not serve anything with them.

For the PP who wondered where appetizers are not served regularly, Asian countries? I have never been served drinks and appetizers in Japan before a meal.

If I could bear to think about it I would tell you about my introduction to monkey brains (I don't know what they're called in the native language), which were served as an appetizer. Suffice it to say, it was not my finest moment as a guest. I didn't do anything rude on purpose but my body certainly didn't get the "be polite" message from my brain. Yikes.

I’m fine either way. Just dinner is fine.

Anonymous wrote:OMG. Can everyone stop saying "nibbles"? There is already a word for this, and it's appetizer. Snack or hors d'oeuvres will also do.

No. An appetizer can be a starter, whereas a nibble is nuts or some such.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

LOL. The only reason people will get "filled up on cheese" is if your dinner is delayed. If you proceed at a regular pace, 30 minutes for drinks and appetizers, and then move into dinner, your guests should be okay.

+100. A good host or hostess knows how to pace an evening. And yes, it does include light appetizers and yes, people do notice that you don’t serve them.

OMG. Can everyone stop saying "nibbles"? There is already a word for this, and it's appetizer. Snack or hors d'oeuvres will also do.

That said, yes, if you are having people over for a festive gathering, you serve drinks and an appetizer while waiting for everyone to arrive. You can also give them a head's up about when to expect the meal. Unless they have eating disorders, guests can regulate how much they eat themselves.

And unless the meal was delayed too long and people are forced to eat a lot of appetizer because they are so hungry, "I filled up on cheese and crackers" is a polite way of excusing not eating other food that doesn't taste good to you.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Then serve a small platter of cheese. Duh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Then…don’t serve a cheese platter, dummy. There are 100 small things you could serve that don’t involve “filling up.” What’s the problem?

You don’t want to serve cheese, so you serve…nothing? Do you get that there are other small and light things you CAN serve?

Given the choice between a cheese platter and nothing, the cheese platter hostess is the better hostess.

+1. You asked in your title about nibbles, OP. That’s what most of us put out as you have heard. Not one entire side of the holiday buffet.

Anonymous wrote:
I've never been served appetizers in Israel either nor am I served appetizers when going to Shabbat dinners within the US. Do other people have appetizers with Shabbat? We also tend to sit down to the meal fairly quicly.

I think that's different. It is a meal for a religious purpose rather than general socializing.

Anonymous wrote:I've never been served appetizers in Israel either nor am I served appetizers when going to Shabbat dinners within the US. Do other people have appetizers with Shabbat? We also tend to sit down to the meal fairly quicly.

For us, the wine and challah is the "appetizer" for Shabbat dinners. Maybe one other thing is out too - some red grapes, dried mango pieces, some slices of fancy cheese, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Unless she has a sign posted that says You Must Eat 5 Large Pieces of Cheese and 25 Crackers, you’re grasping at straws. Just because there’s a cheese platter available doesn’t mean I’m going to fill up on cheese. One small portion of Brie on a cracker, maybe also a piece of Gouda, and I’ll still be ready for dinner.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

LOL. The only reason people will get "filled up on cheese" is if your dinner is delayed. If you proceed at a regular pace, 30 minutes for drinks and appetizers, and then move into dinner, your guests should be okay.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Unless she has a sign posted that says You Must Eat 5 Large Pieces of Cheese and 25 Crackers, you’re grasping at straws. Just because there’s a cheese platter available doesn’t mean I’m going to fill up on cheese. One small portion of Brie on a cracker, maybe also a piece of Gouda, and I’ll still be ready for dinner.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Then…don’t serve a cheese platter, dummy. There are 100 small things you could serve that don’t involve “filling up.” What’s the problem?

You don’t want to serve cheese, so you serve…nothing? Do you get that there are other small and light things you CAN serve?

Given the choice between a cheese platter and nothing, the cheese platter hostess is the better hostess.

OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.