Anonymous
02/18/2022 22:08
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Chinese and Middle Eastern people really want boys, even if they're feminists.
I have an Egyptian friend who did ivf with pgd for a boy
My American WASP husband also wished for a boy. I don't think it's rational. I absolutely wanted boys - I have 3 brothers and 8 male cousins and I'm the only girl in the family, so this is all I knew. Boys and men are very simple, very easy to live with; they have very simple needs. I love my nieces to death but I'm not equipped to deal with the richness of emotions, especially as teenagers. I also had a fraught relationship with my mom growing up, because she wanted to re-live her childhood through me and thought that having a daughter would be like a second chance to her life.
DP. I think this is a very damaging attitude. I have two sons and a daughter, and the boys are just as emotionally complex as my friends and I were at their ages (DD is a baby). The idea of boys as unemotional is outdated and inaccurate.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 21:35
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Chinese and Middle Eastern people really want boys, even if they're feminists.
I have an Egyptian friend who did ivf with pgd for a boy
My American WASP husband also wished for a boy. I don't think it's rational. I absolutely wanted boys - I have 3 brothers and 8 male cousins and I'm the only girl in the family, so this is all I knew. Boys and men are very simple, very easy to live with; they have very simple needs. I love my nieces to death but I'm not equipped to deal with the richness of emotions, especially as teenagers. I also had a fraught relationship with my mom growing up, because she wanted to re-live her childhood through me and thought that having a daughter would be like a second chance to her life.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 21:23
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
There are fewer than a dozen clinics around the US who will do sex preference. We had 2 girls and they honored our request for a boy. Today he is a healthy 2 year old.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 19:28
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:And didn’t get one, do you ever wonder if he will have one through a second marriage, AP or after you die? Men can theoretically have babies till their 70s,80s and the biological drive for a male heir seems strong in some men
He should be grateful for a healthy daughter. What a jerk. I would divoce a man voiced his disappointment.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 19:20
Subject: Re:If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:I guess it's the silver lining being infertile - with IVF, we have a little more choice with gender if we choose to do the genetic testing. We might for baby #2. But typically the people I've known that wanted a specific gender, accepted their family as-is and embraced it.
Will your fertility clinic really let you choose? We did PGD and were never told the sex of the embryo implanted until we asked after the positive pregnancy test. They transferred the best quality embryo and didn’t ask that testing company about the sex until we requested it after the transfer. Not sure I would have chosen or not but this just wasn’t presented as an option so I am curious which places do offer that.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 18:12
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
I think there's a big difference between having a tiny bit of regret that you'll never have a kid of your own sex, and wanting to have a new wife or become a parent in your 70s to fix that. I think a lot of people feel the former and the latter is very rare
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:52
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
I seriously doubt you actually knew your husband well enough before marrying him to be 100% certain here. People change with time, and especially as they become parents.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:46
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
My husband wanted a girl, since he was the second boy of four boys, and his brothers had four sons and one daughter.
We ended up with one boy and one girl.
If we didn't have the daughter he wanted so much, he really wouldn't have been the type to go breed with someone else
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:43
Subject: Re:If your husband really wanted a boy
I'm a single mom and I thought having a girl would be easier since I am a girl. I had a boy and I'm glad I did. They seem easier to raise. Not as complex as girls.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:27
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
I am white, but not American and I did not care about sex with my first. That said, once I realized how amazing it was to have a girl, I only wanted girls after that. When I realized that my third was a boy I was a little disappointed at first, but I am really happy now to have a boy (especially since I am witnessing all the girls’ drama in elementary school).
DH never mentioned he wanted a boy and would have been happy to stop after the first girl.
DH never mentioned he wanted a boy and would have been happy to stop after the first girl.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:10
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
Oh please. Almost every white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and somehow it is OK and not considered misogynistic
I am not white American, but I agree that all white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and I always wonder why?? For dressing them up like princess?
This white American woman couldn’t be happier with my two boys- Same with my sister.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:06
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
Oh please. Almost every white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and somehow it is OK and not considered misogynistic
I am not white American, but I agree that all white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and I always wonder why?? For dressing them up like princess?
This doesn't seem mysterious to me. Most women relate more to other women than to men, and every woman used to beat little girl. Also, IME women stay closer to their moms as adults than men do, in general (obviously not in every case).
Corrected: every woman used to BE A little girl, not beat.
Anonymous
02/18/2022 14:05
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
Oh please. Almost every white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and somehow it is OK and not considered misogynistic
I am not white American, but I agree that all white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and I always wonder why?? For dressing them up like princess?
This doesn't seem mysterious to me. Most women relate more to other women than to men, and every woman used to beat little girl. Also, IME women stay closer to their moms as adults than men do, in general (obviously not in every case).
Anonymous
02/18/2022 13:45
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
Oh please. Almost every white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and somehow it is OK and not considered misogynistic
I am not white American, but I agree that all white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and I always wonder why?? For dressing them up like princess?
I really wanted a daughter and I’m very much not a “princess mom.”
Me too! But maybe a warrior princess
Anonymous
02/18/2022 13:13
Subject: If your husband really wanted a boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry someone so misogynistic/macho that they’d have such a pronounced desire for a male child. What is this, the 1300s? Grow up.
Oh please. Almost every white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and somehow it is OK and not considered misogynistic
I am not white American, but I agree that all white American woman I know wants to have a daughter and I always wonder why?? For dressing them up like princess?
I really wanted a daughter and I’m very much not a “princess mom.”