Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 13 freaking years old. Let him be a kid Karen.

Completely disagree. My 13 year old would spend literally every waking minute on a screen if not given structure and boundaries. They have plenty of free time each day, but not the ENTIRE DAY. But your attitude explains so much about the behavior of some kids (and adults.)

You definitely need to let him be a kid. If screentime is that much of a problem, which it sounds like it is, it's time to cut out the screens and have a detox.

They have tons of time to "be a kid" because I force them to "go play outside" or "go play with your toys" or whatever. They have a great time when they do, but would choose screens instead if given that option. So they aren't given that option very often. Most adults are like this too if they are honest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 13 freaking years old. Let him be a kid Karen.

Completely disagree. My 13 year old would spend literally every waking minute on a screen if not given structure and boundaries. They have plenty of free time each day, but not the ENTIRE DAY. But your attitude explains so much about the behavior of some kids (and adults.)

You definitely need to let him be a kid. If screentime is that much of a problem, which it sounds like it is, it's time to cut out the screens and have a detox.

Interesting discussion--we are not there yet. My kids will be 10 and 12 this summer and are very much looking forward to camps. They mostly do sports camps and some are half day, some full day and they always get about 3 weeks off for vacation or just down time. I can't imagine next year at 13 DS won't want to go--for those in that situation, did they really enjoy camp at 11/12? In any event, there is no way I would let my kid just veg all summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows he will only get one hour of social media a day.

Realistically, how would you enforce that when you're at work and they're home?

Is TikTok still the social media of choice?

For my DD14, its the only one she's allowed to have. We have it pretty locked down, we check who she follows and who follows her, etc. She is not allowed to accept requests from people she doesn't know (and she respects this, she's a good kid.) Sometimes she talks about Instagram but the stuff I read about that one seems even scarier than TikTok which also freaks me out.

To answer the PP, you can put screen time limits on phones and other devices and you can also turn the internet on/off at your home (for computers.) Its pretty simple if you are so inclined. But I'm thankful I don't have to make DD go to camp, she wants to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows he will only get one hour of social media a day.

Realistically, how would you enforce that when you're at work and they're home?

Is TikTok still the social media of choice?

Anonymous wrote:He is 13 freaking years old. Let him be a kid Karen.

Completely disagree. My 13 year old would spend literally every waking minute on a screen if not given structure and boundaries. They have plenty of free time each day, but not the ENTIRE DAY. But your attitude explains so much about the behavior of some kids (and adults.)

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows he will only get one hour of social media a day.

Realistically, how would you enforce that when you're at work and they're home?

I never made my kids go to camp.

Anonymous wrote:My kid had always done a variety of day camps because of our work schedule and he likes to be busy. The summer he was 13 turning 14 was when Covid stopped all that and I was worried about how things would go. He ended up having a rather magical summer actually he and his buddies spend a lot of time biking in the woods, around town, down to the beach etc. etc. Obviously all the possible in a small town but he loved the independence. And he was pretty much outside all summer.

My son was in middle school and still talks about how two years ago was the best summer of his life. All friends were around, no one was traveling and there weren’t constant sports conflicts. They had an old fashioned summer and spent it biking and fishing. We are in the suburbs here and I try to remember this when we think of all of the bad of covid. That summer was perfect for DS.

Full day traditional camps stopped at about 10 or 11 for both kids. They refused to go after that. They would do specific sports camps during the next few years, but I was okay if they didn’t have one every week of the summer. Once they got a little older, August was very busy with fall sports so I didn’t care if they had a lot of down time when they weren’t at practices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drop the rope on the fighting by getting ahead of it. Sit down with them and make a loose schedule of things to get done.

The first few weeks, let them loaf. After July 4th, tighten up ship a bit. But also have reasonable expectations that they may just need the downtime.

Ideas:
-cleaning areas of the house (one a day)
-prepping dinner
-organizing a closet
-make a family photo album
-sign up for a class or activity
-exercise each day (walk, gym, class, pool, whatever makes sense for them)
-reading 2-3 paper novels (not on a screen)

It's good for them to have some down time and lazy summer days. But I'd try to balance that with chores and helping the family. If they don't want to do that, they need to find something ELSE to do.

Not the OP. This is good. I will try to do something similar.

We've done something similar to this the last two summers, precipitated by COVID camp closures but my daughter had been sick of camps before then and I finally caved.

Our deal has been that she had to have productive mornings or otherwise, she would need to go back to camp and that's been worth it for her. Also, our family needed the structure of knowing what was happening when since my husband and I both work.

So, her summer schedule has been M-TH:
+ early morning walk with mom (good for both of us)
+ her morning "job" -- watering our outside flowers and vegetables, she was also hired to do this for a neighbor
+ one-two hours of academics -- math, Spanish, any summer work from school, basically what is sent home from school
+ lunch
+ free afternoons -- she can do free reading (which she loves), talk/text/zoom with her friends, some personal screen time but no more than an hour a day during the week (weekends she can do more if she wants)

Fridays, if I could swing taking the day off, we would to to museums, the pool, beach, etc. Or see friends in person for those in town.

Of course, if a friend invited her to something fun, or we were on vacation, we dropped the schedule. But it has worked really well and saved us all from fighting about schedules.

Make sure he knows he will only get one hour of social media a day.

Last year DD was 11 and spent many weeks at home. She really enjoyed the downtime. We had agreed on some basic rules (limits to screen time, time spent outside, etc.).

This worked because we both work from home, I wouldn't have left her alone all day.

Are day camps a thing where you live? I am not in DC area, but 13 is when most kids start to transition from being campers to being "counselors in training". It's a good foot in the door for a paid counselor position, there or somewhere else, a couple years down the road. And most places don't require more than a few weeks commitment, so there is still plenty of time for travel or downtime, or an online class or whatever.

12 for my child who does an intense travel sport in the summer

At 14, this will be the last summer of camp for my older child