Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:52
Subject: Re:Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.
My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.
They have manners and just didn’t tell you.
I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.
Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.
Having a baby shower is also very old fashioned, so following the rules for asking for gifts is generally key.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:50
Subject: Re:Baby shower…how late?
Have it at 32 weeks. I was really tired and uncomfortable by 34 weeks. Plus it gives you more time to purchase other needed stuff, make returns/exchanges, get nursery set up, and write thank you notes before baby is born.
Congrats, OP! I doubt anyone will be thinking about who is hosting your baby shower. The whole point of a baby shower is to get gifts for the baby and new parents and everyone knows that going in so it really doesn’t matter who hosts it! People of DCUM are so weird about this.
I had a couple friends host my shower but that’s just because they offered before my mom and I had even had time to discuss it. I’ve been to plenty of showers hosted by family members and thought nothing of it.
Congrats, OP! I doubt anyone will be thinking about who is hosting your baby shower. The whole point of a baby shower is to get gifts for the baby and new parents and everyone knows that going in so it really doesn’t matter who hosts it! People of DCUM are so weird about this.
I had a couple friends host my shower but that’s just because they offered before my mom and I had even had time to discuss it. I’ve been to plenty of showers hosted by family members and thought nothing of it.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:46
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 but your mom shouldn’t be hosting a shower.
Op here: why? Every shower I’ve been to, has been hosted by the persons mom. My best friend had her shower last summer and it was hosted by her mom and sister and held at her moms house. My other friends was also hosted by her mom and sister and hosted at her sisters house.
I’m confused as to who is supposed to host it? My sister is 20 so she’s certainly not hosting it. Seems odd you think someone’s mom shouldn’t host it but ok.
There are a handful of weirdos on DCUM who freak out over it. Etiquette from decades ago dictated that immediate family should not host showers, and that gifts should only be small tokens like a rattle or spoon, because it was "tacky" for parents to rely on others to pay for their child.
In real life, 99% of people WANT to celebrate the baby and help out, and do not GAF who hosts the shower. Hell, we just had baby #3 and I had three showers (despite me insisting I didn't need any) because people were excited and wanted to pitch in.
Anyone who is more obsessed with how tacky you may or may not be, rather than being joyful for the new addition to your life, is not a true friend and you shouldn't worry about what they think.
I actually refused because I think it’s incredibly lame to expect friends to buy all the stuff you need for your third freaking kid, so that was also an option you had available to you. We did a spa weekend.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:44
Subject: Re:Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.
My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.
They have manners and just didn’t tell you.
I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.
Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.
My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.
The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.
No sh!t Sherlock. I don’t think anyone needs you to tell them that telling someone that they’re a tacky old bag when they get an invite isn’t polite. This is an anonymous forum. Use your noggin.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:42
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”
Op here: I truly don’t care.We tried for this baby for over 3 years and had multiple losses. I am so happy to be at a point where I am thinking about my baby shower. Anyone who thinks it’s a gift grab, can gladly not come. However, the 28 people on my list will 100% all be happy to support me as they know what we went through.
Then they’d send you a present without having to come and sit and watch you open gifts. Also, I wouldn’t be doing this at all with Covid right before giving birth, in general.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:42
Subject: Re:Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.
My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.
They have manners and just didn’t tell you.
I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.
Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.
My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.
The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:24
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 but your mom shouldn’t be hosting a shower.
Op here: why? Every shower I’ve been to, has been hosted by the persons mom. My best friend had her shower last summer and it was hosted by her mom and sister and held at her moms house. My other friends was also hosted by her mom and sister and hosted at her sisters house.
I’m confused as to who is supposed to host it? My sister is 20 so she’s certainly not hosting it. Seems odd you think someone’s mom shouldn’t host it but ok.
While I don’t care if moms host showers this post is pretty cringe. YOU were supposed to host your “best friend”’s shower!!
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:17
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 but your mom shouldn’t be hosting a shower.
Op here: why? Every shower I’ve been to, has been hosted by the persons mom. My best friend had her shower last summer and it was hosted by her mom and sister and held at her moms house. My other friends was also hosted by her mom and sister and hosted at her sisters house.
I’m confused as to who is supposed to host it? My sister is 20 so she’s certainly not hosting it. Seems odd you think someone’s mom shouldn’t host it but ok.
There are a handful of weirdos on DCUM who freak out over it. Etiquette from decades ago dictated that immediate family should not host showers, and that gifts should only be small tokens like a rattle or spoon, because it was "tacky" for parents to rely on others to pay for their child.
In real life, 99% of people WANT to celebrate the baby and help out, and do not GAF who hosts the shower. Hell, we just had baby #3 and I had three showers (despite me insisting I didn't need any) because people were excited and wanted to pitch in.
Anyone who is more obsessed with how tacky you may or may not be, rather than being joyful for the new addition to your life, is not a true friend and you shouldn't worry about what they think.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:17
Subject: Re:Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.
My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.
They have manners and just didn’t tell you.
I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.
Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:11
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”
Op here: I truly don’t care.
Don't listen to the weirdos, OP. Congratulations on your baby and have the shower at 32 weeks, it will give you 4-8 weeks to arrange the nursery how you want it, buy the rest of the items you need/ exchange stuff, and this will happen while you still have (some) energy and willpower to do so!! I didn't want to do any of that crap when I was like 37 weeks pregnant I just wanted to lie down and will the baby to come out already.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:09
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had two one at 32 and one at 34. I traveled for 32 weeks, only 3 hours away.
Totally agree that 32 makes the most sense. I honestly was a lot more tired at 34 weeks.
Don’t listen to PP about your mom hosting. It’s fine, it happens all the time.
No, it doesn't, at least I have never encountered it. It is a pretty accepted etiquette rule.
No, it’s terribly old fashioned. Almost all the showers I’ve ever been to have been hosted by mom/sisters except my one friend who is not in touch with her mother.
There are one or two people on here that obsess about it. It’s strange.
Sorry, no. Its incredibly tacky. You and your friends are tacky. Nobody is obsessing about it, its just a rude present grab.
ALL baby showers are just gift giving events. Stop. I don't even notice who is hosting when I get the invite (except to RSVP, I suppose, but I don't pay attention to what relation to the mother to be that person is!)
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:07
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”
Op here: I truly don’t care.
We tried for this baby for over 3 years and had multiple losses. I am so happy to be at a point where I am thinking about my baby shower. Anyone who thinks it’s a gift grab, can gladly not come. However, the 28 people on my list will 100% all be happy to support me as they know what we went through.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:06
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:32 but your mom shouldn’t be hosting a shower.
Op here: why? Every shower I’ve been to, has been hosted by the persons mom. My best friend had her shower last summer and it was hosted by her mom and sister and held at her moms house. My other friends was also hosted by her mom and sister and hosted at her sisters house.
I’m confused as to who is supposed to host it? My sister is 20 so she’s certainly not hosting it. Seems odd you think someone’s mom shouldn’t host it but ok.
Anonymous
02/15/2022 21:04
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”
yep. so odd. i refused to have one.
Good for you!!
Anonymous
02/15/2022 20:20
Subject: Baby shower…how late?
Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”
yep. so odd. i refused to have one.