Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't read this as snarky, OP. She was trying to pull things together for the party and wanted to know the status of the plates/napkins while she still had time to remedy the situation.

Take the $10 that you would've spent on themed plates and buy a bottle of wine to enjoy while your kid is at daycare today.

This. She’s also trying her best and may be is not experienced enough in the room parent department. She also has her family to take care of, and her own challenges. She didn’t follow up last minute because she wanted to be nasty to you, but because it probably slipped her own mind with the other things on her plate, and she remembered to reach out to you when she did. I am really not sure how she was mean to you or why your day is ruined. Because she said they’ll do without? She stated a fact. Sure, it would have been nice to have red valentines napkins and plates, but it’s not the end of the world, and the preschool probably has other plates and napkins the kids could use. So yes, they could do without the items. So no need for your martyrdom to walk back, grab the car and bring them 15 minutes late.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I am DONE with stupid stuff like this. Themed napkins?! No. I will send in actual school supplies, Valentines to hand out and make sure they have costumes for the Halloween parade, but the rest needs to slide away.

I feel like women used to get tasked with all sorts of stupid stuff like this (notice she didn't text your husband). It needs to stop and they need to stop expecting women to be classroom volunteers too. Not everything needs to be a pinterest moment.

Just say no, it’s fine! Relax.

Anonymous wrote:“Didn’t get it. Sorry you didn’t have a plan B.”

Ugh, no. This is too much energy expended for something that was not important at all. I don't know if it was the tone of the room mom that was snarky, though the words seem on the edge of polite, but snarking back (for many people) makes you carry the burden. Let it roll off your shoulders. No extensive response needed.

OP, I understand you’re in a hard moment but this is a nothingburger. You didn’t screw up, and she wasn’t rude.

If you HAD screwed up or she WAS rude, this would still be not worth being upset about. But her messages, while short, are not rude. She’s the one who screwed up by communicating via carrier pigeon and she rightfully said it was no big deal and not to worry about it.

You can’t go about your life being mad at moms for slightly terse classroom party planning and you shouldn’t martyr yourself to go to target for heart napkins, ever. You need to get a tougher skin and some perspective.

Frankly I am DONE with stupid stuff like this. Themed napkins?! No. I will send in actual school supplies, Valentines to hand out and make sure they have costumes for the Halloween parade, but the rest needs to slide away.

I feel like women used to get tasked with all sorts of stupid stuff like this (notice she didn't text your husband). It needs to stop and they need to stop expecting women to be classroom volunteers too. Not everything needs to be a pinterest moment.

Not your fault. If anything, she is likely feeling bad now because she used an ineffective communication system and then was snarky (or came off as snarky) with a parent whose kid hasn't been in school and month and whose whole family had covid!

OP seems like the type who expects to be coddled 24/7.

I do not see the snark here. Unless it’s because she didn’t fall all over herself saying “poor you”?

I'm not seeing any snark in those straight forward texts. But, you really don't need to worry about it. Just focus on recovery.

“Didn’t get it. Sorry you didn’t have a plan B.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't read this as snarky, OP. She was trying to pull things together for the party and wanted to know the status of the plates/napkins while she still had time to remedy the situation.

Exactly this. She's also overwhelmed, not planning in advance, probably at the last minute realized that she wasn't sure if you were bringing, and trying to figure out whether she should grab some basic napkins or whether you would be bringing them. When she read your note she thought of course it would not be worth the fuss for something so minor. But she also didn't have time to compose the perfect reassuring message.

Assume good intentions. In general, folks are doing the best they can and know that you are doing the same.

+1

And it really was fine not to have special valentines napkins and plates. The school has some plates or napkins, or paper towel, or something that can be used and literally the kids don't care because they would be just as happy to place them right on the table and then wipe their hands on their clothes or lick them clean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't read this as snarky, OP. She was trying to pull things together for the party and wanted to know the status of the plates/napkins while she still had time to remedy the situation.

Exactly this. She's also overwhelmed, not planning in advance, probably at the last minute realized that she wasn't sure if you were bringing, and trying to figure out whether she should grab some basic napkins or whether you would be bringing them. When she read your note she thought of course it would not be worth the fuss for something so minor. But she also didn't have time to compose the perfect reassuring message.

Assume good intentions. In general, folks are doing the best they can and know that you are doing the same.

+1 She wasn't being snarky and you didn't do anything wrong, you're just feeling a lot of residual stress. Next time some school "event" comes up, just do your part and this interaction will fade into the distant mists of time.

Anonymous wrote:I am trying, and failing, to find any snark in here at all. And if this throws you for a loop, OP, you're really going to enjoy teenagers.

+1 op, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what she wrote.

Ignore. Don't give it another thought of energy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you really not receive the note or you were (understandably) pre-occupied and didn't respond?
Doesn't matter, she should not assign but seek volunteers. She was not snarky and you have nothing to feel bad about.

I didn't receive it. My child hasn't been in school the last 2 weeks so i am assuming I will have a pile of paperwork, including the notes, at the end of today.

You cannot let something so small and through no fault of your own upset you so much. Really, it's nothing.

You must feel extra vulnerable right now, OP. This person had probably no intention of being hurtful, but when you're the organizer, things tend to be a little stressful, and you occasionally have to be curt, in the interests of time. She was probably regretting not following up with you before the weekend.

It's fine, truly. No worries.