Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I’ve gain 30 lbs (5’5” 160 now) as well and we have sex all the time. DH does sometimes comment on fitness levels of other women. I know he finds fit women attractive. I’m not going to tie myself in knots trying to be thin. I exercise daily and eat moderately healthy. I’d have to drastically reduce what I eat to be 30 lbs smaller. Accepting our parent’s changing bodies as we age is part of life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

If they’re insecure and depend on external validation, yes.

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...


You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Together since college (14 years), married 8 years. We’ve both gained a few pounds and lost some muscle, although we are both motivated to get back in a workout routine. Growing three babies really changed my body, but DH seems to find me as attractive as ever, which is a reassuring! I think I look tired and am starting to feel like I need makeup, when I never wore much before. He wears his hair slightly longer, is going noticeably gray, and thinning a bit on top. But I think the salt and pepper look is sexy!

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

Yeah. I've changed. Life was very hard for me and I am lucky to even be alive. I am not in a wheelchair anymore, not suicidal, not in the hospital hooked on everything right now, and not in the grave. My husband only cares that I am by his side. My weight fluctuates depending on meds and mobility. Prednisone caused me to balloon while another med caused me to burn through pounds like butter. We are both thankful I am home to raise our children and we have been together since 18/21 and now 41/43.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Right there with you… My ex W gained more than a few lbs, more wrinkles around her eyes, and more of a salty attitude.

Did you consider she was struggling with insecurities about her weight gain and ageing and it manifested as a salty attitude? And sounds like you validated her insecurities, congrats.

She was thin when we got divorced. She also smoked when she drank and I warned her it would catch up with her one day.

She's on your mind a lot, huh? Bet she never thinks of you. She sounds cool to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Right there with you… My ex W gained more than a few lbs, more wrinkles around her eyes, and more of a salty attitude.

Did you consider she was struggling with insecurities about her weight gain and ageing and it manifested as a salty attitude? And sounds like you validated her insecurities, congrats.

She was thin when we got divorced. She also smoked when she drank and I warned her it would catch up with her one day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Right there with you… My ex W gained more than a few lbs, more wrinkles around her eyes, and more of a salty attitude.

Did you consider she was struggling with insecurities about her weight gain and ageing and it manifested as a salty attitude? And sounds like you validated her insecurities, congrats.

DH put on a little weight and I'm into it, felt he was too skinny previously
DH grew a beard and it is H O T

I have gained some weight the last 2 years -- emotional stress, covid stress, lack of motivation to exercise, but it's made my small chest slightly bigger and he's into it
Definitely some lines around the eyes but he likes my smile and that's part of it so


I don't think we have changed that much, just the 40 year old version of ourselves from when we met.

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Right there with you… My ex W gained more than a few lbs, more wrinkles around her eyes, and more of a salty attitude.

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Your wife is better off without you.

(And I think it’s odd that you know the precise number of pounds she gained. What were you doing-weighing her? Just weird.)

We've been married for 20 years and are 50. He looks great! He's probably gained 20 pounds and could stand to lose 10 of them. But no complaints. He has nice hair and good energy.

I've gained 10 and could stand to lose 5.