Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do the same thing the niece did. Get the aunt to give your mom POA and have the niece's name taken off the bank accounts and house deed.

+1.

I'm not sure what's really going on here. Maybe your aunt didn't really understand what she was doing, but I think you and your mom need to tell her that if she wants the two of you in charge then she's going to have to reverse what she has already done and give your mother or you POA.

Agree on getting a social worker and possibly an attorney involved and lock this down. Maybe a social worker can mediate a family meeting. Because leaving you and your mom to do all the legwork without you knowing that banks accounts could be wiped out and the house sold out from under you is a pretty big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds super weird. Is this the poster who's always putting forth made-up scenarios?

This is not a made up scenario and I don’t usually post on the relationship part. I just thought maybe others had gone through something like this ans had some advice.

Anonymous wrote:Just do the same thing the niece did. Get the aunt to give your mom POA and have the niece's name taken off the bank accounts and house deed.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds super weird. Is this the poster who's always putting forth made-up scenarios?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

A notary can't just add someone to the bank accounts or house. Sounds like she has power of attorney. Better talk to the aunt and figure out what she wants to do with her estate. Does she have a will?

Anonymous wrote:Someone needs to set your aunt straight about money. She cannot turn money over to others. If she runs out of money she won’t be able to get care because of the MA five year look back period. Get a social worker involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

A notary can't just add someone to the bank accounts or house. Sounds like she has power of attorney. Better talk to the aunt and figure out what she wants to do with her estate. Does she have a will?

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your concern should be your mothers inheritance. My concern would be, can you trust these people with your aunts assets during her lifetime? What if they take all the money and then she’s left with nothing?

THIS. It’s alarming that this person will not be responsible for your aunt, but will control the purse strings. I would be worried about your aunt being left high and dry.

I know. The thing is my aunt is going into a nursing home - right now, Medicare will pay for it but then it will be long term care and she has no long-term health insurance. My understanding is the nursing home would bill until that money runs out and then it becomes Medicaid. So if they try to take money out, wouldn’t the government come after them? Aunt asked me to fly in from the west coast where I now live to check out the places - but since she goes in as Medicare, the places haven’t handed me any paperwork.