Anonymous
Post 02/14/2022 10:42     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

I don’t see him compromising if he has a field he can do almost anywhere. It’s not like he’s a commodities trader in Chicago who needs to give that up because the best MPH program is in Baltimore and there’s nothing for him there.


It's only a compromise of he is doing something he doesn't want to do. For all they know she will match in a place he is happy to live and no compromise will be needed. Don't borrow trouble and MYOB.


This and also, at every single one of these stages they can relocate if they want to. I’m a doctor and know plenty of people who stayed with the person they were married to or dating in medical school. One of them married her college boyfriend who is an engineer and they are happy still with 4 kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 23:31     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

I don’t see him compromising if he has a field he can do almost anywhere. It’s not like he’s a commodities trader in Chicago who needs to give that up because the best MPH program is in Baltimore and there’s nothing for him there.


It's only a compromise of he is doing something he doesn't want to do. For all they know she will match in a place he is happy to live and no compromise will be needed. Don't borrow trouble and MYOB.


This^. However, she'll be a part time partner even in a live-in full time relationship due to time constraints and stress. It may help her stress levels to have a dedicated well earning partner/spouse. Uncertainties and complexities of dating and random relationships during pre-med journey can take a toll on a busy single student.


Its a huge gift to give anyone, hope she has an understanding and appreciation for it.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 23:05     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My stepson is in a relationship since high school. They are graduating college in May and he is heading for a lucrative engineering job. She'll start an MPH and apply to medical schools in next cycle. Is there a hope for any relationship to survive a decade of time consuming study and expenses while other person financing and bending his geographical radius limited. She is amazing and they love each other but everyone is telling them to split because its not fair for him to spend a decade chasing her path. I didn't offer any opinion but do feel concerned for them.

You are literally the stepmother from hell. Butt out.


Why? Concern is concerning?

Concern about what? That stepson is an independent functioning adult?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 22:06     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My stepson is in a relationship since high school. They are graduating college in May and he is heading for a lucrative engineering job. She'll start an MPH and apply to medical schools in next cycle. Is there a hope for any relationship to survive a decade of time consuming study and expenses while other person financing and bending his geographical radius limited. She is amazing and they love each other but everyone is telling them to split because its not fair for him to spend a decade chasing her path. I didn't offer any opinion but do feel concerned for them.

You are literally the stepmother from hell. Butt out.


Why? Concern is concerning?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 19:29     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:My stepson is in a relationship since high school. They are graduating college in May and he is heading for a lucrative engineering job. She'll start an MPH and apply to medical schools in next cycle. Is there a hope for any relationship to survive a decade of time consuming study and expenses while other person financing and bending his geographical radius limited. She is amazing and they love each other but everyone is telling them to split because its not fair for him to spend a decade chasing her path. I didn't offer any opinion but do feel concerned for them.

You are literally the stepmother from hell. Butt out.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 19:24     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought this was going to be a post about a kid out of HS not going to college or something.

You have two successful adults who appear to be communicating openly and one of whom has a pretty portable job.

You hit the jackpot on adult children and don't even seem to know it.


Seriously. I honestly don’t even see what he’s giving up! He’s going to work in he’s desired field and pursue his career. Good for him!



And even if he does give something up, so what? OMG, he lives in a city that isn't his #1 favorite choice for a few years, is it that big a deal? It's not like she's asking him to move to Antarctica. And she's doing it to become a doctor, it's not just for kicks. People make compromises in marriage, and perhaps he's a nice young man with the maturity to understand that.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 18:51     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:I thought this was going to be a post about a kid out of HS not going to college or something.

You have two successful adults who appear to be communicating openly and one of whom has a pretty portable job.

You hit the jackpot on adult children and don't even seem to know it.


Seriously. I honestly don’t even see what he’s giving up! He’s going to work in he’s desired field and pursue his career. Good for him!

Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 18:51     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:So, if he wants to date a woman with a high income and good job, there's going to be some kind of grad school. If it's law, there will be school and maybe a clerkship some random place. If it's science people travel all over the world for their PhD. Of course the relationship can survive if they are right for each other. People do long-distance relationships all the time. That's what it takes if you're an ambitious couple and want to end up with two good careers. It's normal.

You sound out of date and sexist BTW.


This
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 18:47     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
It would seem to me that they are adults and can make their own decisions. Sometimes the lessons of life must be learned through experience and we all take our lumps now and then.

At least she's going to be a doctor! You make it sound like she's getting a PhD in poetry or something.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 18:31     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Well, relationships are reciprocal, If he wants to support her and is certain she would do the same for him, it makes sense to do it and not to break up like love is transactional thing.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 16:44     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Its their decision to make, their life to live. There is no one formula to handle, if there was then no one would ever face issues or divorce. People giving advice or opinion are clueless about future of their own relationships.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 14:01     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
If they are dedicated, its not any more difficult or time consuming then two young professionals trying to build any type of demanding careers. Only difference, only one person getting paid or well paid for next 10 years, other person is just collecting debt with hope for a good future pay off.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 13:53     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

I don’t see him compromising if he has a field he can do almost anywhere. It’s not like he’s a commodities trader in Chicago who needs to give that up because the best MPH program is in Baltimore and there’s nothing for him there.


It's only a compromise of he is doing something he doesn't want to do. For all they know she will match in a place he is happy to live and no compromise will be needed. Don't borrow trouble and MYOB.


This^. However, she'll be a part time partner even in a live-in full time relationship due to time constraints and stress. It may help her stress levels to have a dedicated well earning partner/spouse. Uncertainties and complexities of dating and random relationships during pre-med journey can take a toll on a busy single student.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 13:48     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:I’m more concerned that they’ve been in one relationship. That can’t be healthy and will not end well.


Its not like ones with extensive dating and relationship experience end-up any better. Stable long term relationships have better chances of transitioning into stable marriages compared to random short term relationships.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2022 13:43     Subject: Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

I don’t see him compromising if he has a field he can do almost anywhere. It’s not like he’s a commodities trader in Chicago who needs to give that up because the best MPH program is in Baltimore and there’s nothing for him there.


It's only a compromise of he is doing something he doesn't want to do. For all they know she will match in a place he is happy to live and no compromise will be needed. Don't borrow trouble and MYOB.