Anonymous wrote: OP- I 'literally' don't think about how much other people spend on their own weddings...

I'm currently help plan DD's wedding. We are probably spending less than most folks here on it, yet we (including DD and df) are happy and comfortable with what our particular family is spending. If another family is comfortable spending a zillion dollars and the wedding lasting a week-ok, have fun! Why would I be upset? And why would I spend any time concerned about it?

Curious -- what do you think you'll be spending, all-in?

It doesn't upset me but I do think it's ridiculous.

Why would I care how other people spend their time, money or effort? I have my own life that keeps me busy. I don't pry into other people's finances.

Maybe you should look into a hobby to occupy you and keep you focused on your own business.

Certainly not. What other couples do is their own business. I love attending all manner of weddings, whether big or small, in-person or virtual. My own wedding was on the more modest side, due to personal preference, but if couples can afford a bigger celebration, I'm happy to attend as a guest and party on!

OP- I 'literally' don't think about how much other people spend on their own weddings...

I'm currently help plan DD's wedding. We are probably spending less than most folks here on it, yet we (including DD and df) are happy and comfortable with what our particular family is spending. If another family is comfortable spending a zillion dollars and the wedding lasting a week-ok, have fun! Why would I be upset? And why would I spend any time concerned about it?

Of course not unless someone is asking me to pay. I’ve enjoyed being the guest at very expensive weddings where the food is stellar and the venue luxurious.

It's all relative, in terms of both locality and time. Yes, $100k sounds like A TON. But my wedding cost $18k ten years ago, at a time when I was a grad student making $25k a year (thanks mom and dad!), and that is a lot too. $11k of that was literally just catering - barbecue buffet, setting up tables and chairs, servers and a bartender. We bulk bought alcohol for an open bar to save, I made my own wedding cakes and origami flowers and table decorations, we REALLY tried to go cheap...but weddings are expensive. I wouldn't judge someone with more money spending much more than I did, especially in someplace like DC, or even worse, NYC, after 10 years of prices going up too.

Not at all. But it does bother me to see people spend more money on their pets than their kids.

Anonymous wrote:No. It's none of my business what other people do with their money. Being obsessive and judgmental about other people's choices is unhealthy.

Why is this always the first answer? Basically, "mind your own business you judgmental maniac". For pretty much every answer. Clearly this is an anonymous forum for expressing and discussing views one may not express in public. It is always "your business" to have opinions and thoughts.

No I couldn’t care less.

Anonymous wrote:If they were the type who hoards money, and does things like not donating to charity or saying things like “if people want more money they should just work harder,” it would bother me. But not any more than other massive indulgent expenses.

+1

Maybe people judge you for the car that you drive, the private school that you send your kids to or your home. Who has time to worry about this kind of stuff?

I don't mind attending very small and intimate weddings of closest friends and relative even if it not a lavish affair. But otherwise a cheapie wedding pisses me off. Don't cut corners on food, drinks, and arrangements for the convenience of the guests. Have valet parking available, adequate seating, comfortable and beautiful surroundings, rooms in the hotel, breakfast, hot beverages etc.

I am ok with people not spending a ton on flower arrangements, drone photography, return gifts, ice sculptures, wedding invitations, printed napkins, entertainers etc. A good DJ and good music is must.

As long as I'm invited, it's fine. I mean, the money trickles down to all the vendors and such so it's keeping people employed. I do think destination weddings are kind of gross because environmentally speaking they are AWFUL and they also ruin every guest's year of financial and vacation planning.

Doesn't really upset me, but expensive weddings seem a bit silly, but do what you want with your money.

That being said, the lower budget wedding usually seem more fun to me. People are more relaxed and in a party mood because it's much lower stakes. I've been to some very pricey weddings that felt pretty fake and lacked the real family and friends vibe.