Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:31     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
"Piss you off" is a bit wrongheaded, imo, but you're not wrong that this shows lack of effort. I dress up for my DH every day and I have worked remote for the better part of a year.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:29     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:It’s starting to piss you off???

I can see how you’d want her to do something different, and honestly if she doesn’t even want to dress up to go out on a date because she likes sweats I wonder about depression or body image issues. But good grief, it’s her body and for you to be pissed off about such a superficial thing shows an insane level of entitlement.


Whatever. I'd be pissed if my husband was in sweats all day every day and didn't want to dress up to go out. You're buggin'.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:27     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Sweats in the house? Cool. But not wanting to dress up to go on a date w/the husband because you want to wear sweats (that you've been wearing daily during the pandemic??)...weird.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:11     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
The annoyance and anger are not rational reactions. With the possible exception of the date-night thing, she's not wearing sweats AT you. She's wearing them because they are comfortable. Bummed that she isn't dressing up, sure. Pissed off and annoyed, not so much. That suggests that you think you're entitled to have her look a certain way. Think about why your reaction is anger, and it will help you figure out what's really bothering you, which is the first step to having an actually productive conversation.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:07     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is a sensitive topic, but what the hell.

Both my wife and I are in good shape physically. We both work hard and have two kids in elementary school. But since she started working from home back when COVID started, she has never not worn sweatpants or pajamas. This has started to annoy me, perhaps unreasonably. Last week I asked "Hey, how about we dress up a little bit and go on a date?" The answer was like nope, I want to be comfortable, only wearing sweatpants. Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off?


Is it just the sweatpants or her whole appearance? I know a lot of Stay at Home Moms who just let go of themselves.

Also, is she wearing "sweatpants", joggers or Yoga pants?

Even when I wear my PJ bottoms and comfy slippers, I like to wear a cute top and have my hair done.

Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:04     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is a sensitive topic, but what the hell.

Both my wife and I are in good shape physically. We both work hard and have two kids in elementary school. But since she started working from home back when COVID started, she has never not worn sweatpants or pajamas. This has started to annoy me, perhaps unreasonably. Last week I asked "Hey, how about we dress up a little bit and go on a date?" The answer was like nope, I want to be comfortable, only wearing sweatpants. Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off?


Is she hot? If so, then don't worry about it. My wife wears sweat pants all the time, but as soon as the kids are out of the house for school, we slide them off, and then who cares what she had been wearing?


Yes, she is pretty hot without really trying. We both exercise a lot. We both work demanding jobs. It is just that since COVID happened, my wife went from low maintenance to a bit slovenly. This is obviously not the biggest problem in the world or in a marriage, but it is starting to annoy me because I have always liked dressing up once in a while. It breaks up the routine, and it is one of the reasons I went back to the office as soon as I could.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:04     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with you, OP, but I also don't think you're crazy controlling or entitled. You are allowed to have your preferences, and she is allowed to ignore those preferences.

Have you raised this with her head-on? Not in the round-about way you mention in your post ("dress up for a date"). This is your spouse, you can talk to her. No crazy demands or ultimatums, of course. You can acknowledge that her comfort is her prerogative while respectfully noting that you miss seeing her in slightly more formal clothing. GL.


It’s one thing to have a preference, it’s another thing to get mad about somebody not catering to your preferences.


Where does it say in the OP that he's mad? He said he's annoyed. Are you making things up for drama or something? (Oh wait, it's DCUM! Of course you are.)


He said it was starting to piss him off. That’s an anger emotion.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 15:02     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with you, OP, but I also don't think you're crazy controlling or entitled. You are allowed to have your preferences, and she is allowed to ignore those preferences.

Have you raised this with her head-on? Not in the round-about way you mention in your post ("dress up for a date"). This is your spouse, you can talk to her. No crazy demands or ultimatums, of course. You can acknowledge that her comfort is her prerogative while respectfully noting that you miss seeing her in slightly more formal clothing. GL.


It’s one thing to have a preference, it’s another thing to get mad about somebody not catering to your preferences.


Where does it say in the OP that he's mad? He said he's annoyed. Are you making things up for drama or something? (Oh wait, it's DCUM! Of course you are.)
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:55     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is a sensitive topic, but what the hell.

Both my wife and I are in good shape physically. We both work hard and have two kids in elementary school. But since she started working from home back when COVID started, she has never not worn sweatpants or pajamas. This has started to annoy me, perhaps unreasonably. Last week I asked "Hey, how about we dress up a little bit and go on a date?" The answer was like nope, I want to be comfortable, only wearing sweatpants. Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off?


Is she hot? If so, then don't worry about it. My wife wears sweat pants all the time, but as soon as the kids are out of the house for school, we slide them off, and then who cares what she had been wearing?
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:55     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with you, OP, but I also don't think you're crazy controlling or entitled. You are allowed to have your preferences, and she is allowed to ignore those preferences.

Have you raised this with her head-on? Not in the round-about way you mention in your post ("dress up for a date"). This is your spouse, you can talk to her. No crazy demands or ultimatums, of course. You can acknowledge that her comfort is her prerogative while respectfully noting that you miss seeing her in slightly more formal clothing. GL.


It’s one thing to have a preference, it’s another thing to get mad about somebody not catering to your preferences.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:52     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
I don't agree with you, OP, but I also don't think you're crazy controlling or entitled. You are allowed to have your preferences, and she is allowed to ignore those preferences.

Have you raised this with her head-on? Not in the round-about way you mention in your post ("dress up for a date"). This is your spouse, you can talk to her. No crazy demands or ultimatums, of course. You can acknowledge that her comfort is her prerogative while respectfully noting that you miss seeing her in slightly more formal clothing. GL.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:51     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Are you saying that she wears sweatpants out to a nice dinner? That would be odd. But, for WFH, let her wear what she wants.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:50     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Is the problem the sweatpants or not wanting to go in a date? My spouse and I don’t care what the other person wears, especially at home, but we’d both be disappointed if the other didn’t want to spend time together on a date or something.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:49     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
So wait, you said “let’s get dressed up and go on a date” and she said “no I’m not going to stop wearing sweat pants?”. That doesn’t track. Are you asking her to dress up at home (which, hell no), or are you asking her to dress up to go out and she’s saying no (to dressing up or the date, or both)?
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2022 14:45     Subject: Wife wears sweatpants every day.
Anonymous wrote:Glad my DH isn’t a jerk like you.



+1