I have a 18 yo who is still a picky eater, as is his cousin who is 28 (female). With truly picky eaters the "they'll eat when they're hungry", "make it cute", "pick the colors" and/or "this is a tree, this is xxx" to get them to eat do not work. They have both expressed so much frustration that people comment on their picky eating at every meal, and that it gets really old. My DC gets tired of "Is that all you're going to eat" at every single meal if someone else is with us.

Truly picky kids: deep breaths and they will try things eventually, but it might be when they are adults. And then they will get so sick of constantly having it pointed out. They are over it, just like people get commented on being too fat or too skinny. Enough.

With younger children, keep putting out healthy options and add vitamins. Make sure there is always something at least they will eat. Stop the power play over food because it will exhaust you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s hungry he will eat. Seriously. When he’s hungry enough he will eat.

That doesn't solve anything though. My 10 year is more than willing to skip dinner knowing that preferred foods will be available for breakfast and lunch. She's fine with just those two meals.

If she's growing well, then that is fine. I have a teen who was always picky and would opt to just skip dinner or only eat some bread. He's a lot more accepting of different foods now but he still sometimes skips dinner or eats very little. He just doesn't have a big appetite but his growth is fine, now over 6' and a slim, not overly skinny, build.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op, that sounds incredibly frustrating. You probably already know about this so forgive me for
mentioning it but kids eat in color has a better bites program that is supposed to go up til age 10. I don’t think you get much for true picky eating like your experiencing on her Instagram but I’ve heard good things about her actual program and her kids are older - like 6 and 8 so just seems more promising. But also, just mostly want to say that sounds so so frustrating and you sound like a great mom

Is it the same person who recommend this “kids eat in color” all the time? Is it in fact the owner of that handle? I looked at her stuff once and it was laughable. Not for true picky eaters.

Not the PP, but I follow the account and think she has some useful tips.

There are, of course, varying degrees of "picky," but I'm pretty sure everyone is allowed to seek advice on the subject?

Anonymous wrote:If he’s hungry he will eat. Seriously. When he’s hungry enough he will eat.

That doesn't solve anything though. My 10 year is more than willing to skip dinner knowing that preferred foods will be available for breakfast and lunch. She's fine with just those two meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s hungry he will eat. Seriously. When he’s hungry enough he will eat.

Truly picky kids won't. I was one of those kids, and I would allow myself to pass out with hunger sometimes rather than eat something I didn't like. I was not as picky as OP's kid (there were a couple things I would reliably eat...though I'm sure it still drove my mom insane having to ensure that they were always available even if we traveled etc), but this advice simply doesn't work for a certain level of pickiness.

Sure, but it doesnt seem right to call that picky. we know a family that had their child in the hospital because the child refused to eat. it was a mental health/sensory thing.

That's not picky, and we shouldn't equate the two

Solidarity, OP. We are struggling with the same, only our 5 yo DD has slowly eliminated many of her former "safe" foods and now has a list of maybe 5 preferred foods. And she's MAD about not getting her preferred foods, which makes family meals miserable. I always put fruit on her plate, and it's often the only part of dinner she touches. I was packing her lunches and they were coming home untouched except for fruit and maybe whatever bagged crunchy snack I provided, so now I let her get lunch at school just to ensure she's eating something. She was a HUGE baby and toddler and has weighed the same for about six months now despite growing taller.

I'm super schooled in Ellyn Satter, follow all the recommended IG accounts and attempt to implement, and still her picky eating has gotten worse every year. I worry the food she gets at school and aftercare is influencing her preferences too much.

It will pass but I understand it’s frustrating. In the meantime, if you already haven’t, cut back on snacks. Or, only feed them fruits and vegetables for snacks outside of meal time.

same here.

My almost 7 year old is similar. But she is extremely tall, so I stopped worrying. She will eat what she needs somehow.

I'm a parent of a 20 year old complete recovered severe selective eater.

His eating was beyond "picky eating" and when he was around 8 affected his growth. He gradually ate less and less, lost the desire to eat, and stopped growing. He was diagnosed with ARFID but they didn't really have a lot of evidence based treatments for him.

Over the next 6 years I worked with him intensively to help him learn to notjust tolerate, but be able to love, look forward to and enjoy different foods with different tastes and different textures. It was a very long, slow, painstaking process. One resource that helped me was this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Child-Extreme-Picky-Eating/dp/162625110X

Also helpful were some of the educational models for parents found at the Duke University ARFID Clinic website:

https://www.dukehealth.org/treatments/psychiatry/eating-disorders/avoidantrestrictive-food-intake-disorder-arfid

In my opinion, the single best thing I realized was that severe picky eating is like a learning disability. Kids can learn to eat foods with new tastes and new textures, but may need more time, different techniques, and more assistance to be able to handle them without anxiety. So just as insisting to a child with dyslexia "Read this paragraph or else!!" won't work and will just cause more anxiety, telling a severe selective eaters "This is what is for dinner and nothing else" basically is not going to work. In my case, it wasn't true that "he'll eat when he is hungry". My child was willing to starve rather than eat food he couldn't accept.

I will tell you that the recovery process was very long, slow and hard. There are no quick fixes. I do recommend intervening very early, even before you are sure there is a clinical problem. The same as with other eating disorders like anorexia -- the best time to intervene is as soon as you suspect a problem and before it gets to anything diagnosable. It is easier to help a 6 year old not be a severe picky eater than a 12 year old, for sure.

Super frustrating but notice how its only frustrating because of how you're reacting - you dont mention him being bothered, having health problems etc. Whats your actual goal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s hungry he will eat. Seriously. When he’s hungry enough he will eat.

Truly picky kids won't. I was one of those kids, and I would allow myself to pass out with hunger sometimes rather than eat something I didn't like. I was not as picky as OP's kid (there were a couple things I would reliably eat...though I'm sure it still drove my mom insane having to ensure that they were always available even if we traveled etc), but this advice simply doesn't work for a certain level of pickiness.

21:56 here. Yeah, for my picky kid, food is simply take it or leave it. As in, he'll eat what he wants, and just won't eat otherwise. His pediatrician had a 'gain weight' plan for a while because he was off the charts (on the low side) for weight vs height. We went over our meals approach and food plan with her to make sure we were ok. She was ok with the approach, but watched it closely for a few years to make sure he was gaining. Whole dairy helped, he loves milk and yogurt so we got lots of calories into him that way.

Like I said earlier, he is mostly resolved now, but still has some food preferences. When faced with the choice, he will skip days of food before eating anything on his no list. I still pack his lunch because he won't eat the school lunch, he'll just skip it. And this is a 14 year old male athlete - a group that is known for consuming house and home! We just keep lots of healthy (and caloric - not necessarily what I personally think of as 'healthy' for a 43yo woman lol!) snacks around so he can eat when he gets home from school.

Same. 5 year old DD is infuriatingly picky. Her K teacher pulled me aside at pickup and told me she has never seen anything like it (and has been teaching 18 years). People just dont get it. she eats 3 things - and nothing we can actually procure outside of our kitchen

What will they eat?

I can relate! For my kid, it was mostly textural issues. I just gave her healthy foods that I knew she would eat. She is slowing branching out now that she is a few years older. I don't think she will ever be an adventurous eater, but maybe she will surprise me.

As an adult picky eater, please know your son doesn't WANT to be this way. I'm sure he wishes he liked more, that he didn't worry when going to restaurants, or to people's homes, etc.

I was just somehow born like this, and although I eat more than the four things I ate at age 2 (yogurt, grilled cheese, pb&j, and I forget the other), I am still distinctly picky. Wish I weren't, but I truly hate a lot of foods.

Unless your son is a brilliant psychopath, he's NOT doing this to drive you crazy.