Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but the Biglaw lady where she and her husband now have to live on only 350k makes me want to puke. That's not going from UMC to MC -- it's going from RICH to UMC. Also, she can do what she's doing now secure in the knowledge that she always has daddy to fall back on. She's the definition of privilege, and it's that privilege that has allowed her to make the choices that she did.

She's also the definition of clueless and out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit I am having difficulty. Its a whole new culture and I feel like a snob when I want things from my childhood vs what my MC husband offers me. I do not have a trust fund or what have you as my parents mismanaged their money, but while growing up I had a wonderful life. I knew my DH was raised LMC/MC but he went to good schools and I assumed we'd have a solid UMC life...so far still MC due to smaller incomes and HCOL.

Its really hard on me. I don't know if anyone else can relate.

Do you truly feel it is on him and “ what he offers.” Can you make it happen for your family, or did you agree you would stay at home and dh would be the only provider?

I ask as I stayed home for a bit in the early years but then went back to work. I am now the high earner and we have a very nice life. I mostly went back because I wanted to but I also recognized that if I wanted a certain lifestyle I could contribute as I was just as capable.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but the Biglaw lady where she and her husband now have to live on only 350k makes me want to puke. That's not going from UMC to MC -- it's going from RICH to UMC. Also, she can do what she's doing now secure in the knowledge that she always has daddy to fall back on. She's the definition of privilege, and it's that privilege that has allowed her to make the choices that she did.

She's also the definition of clueless and out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:I admit I am having difficulty. Its a whole new culture and I feel like a snob when I want things from my childhood vs what my MC husband offers me. I do not have a trust fund or what have you as my parents mismanaged their money, but while growing up I had a wonderful life. I knew my DH was raised LMC/MC but he went to good schools and I assumed we'd have a solid UMC life...so far still MC due to smaller incomes and HCOL.

Its really hard on me. I don't know if anyone else can relate.

Anonymous wrote:I never assumed I would have the life my parents had. I understood inflation and that I wasn't taking the traditional path my parents took in most ways. I'm barely middle class. I will never own a home and will work until the day I die. I am doing the best I can for myself. I made peace with it a long time ago.

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very wealthy, and I grew up UMC but in the countryside so it seemed like a lot more. We no w are solidly middle class. We are very comfortable and happy with our decisions as well as the priorities and values we have that cause us to be middle class. My husband doesn’t travel for work constantly, and has reasonable and consistant work hours. Our children are being raised by me, not nannies. Our kids get to see us painting and sewing and working in the yard and having practical knowledge they if we we were wealthy we would just hire someone for. These are important skills and values that we want our kids to know.

Anonymous wrote:I admit I am having difficulty. Its a whole new culture and I feel like a snob when I want things from my childhood vs what my MC husband offers me. I do not have a trust fund or what have you as my parents mismanaged their money, but while growing up I had a wonderful life. I knew my DH was raised LMC/MC but he went to good schools and I assumed we'd have a solid UMC life...so far still MC due to smaller incomes and HCOL.

Its really hard on me. I don't know if anyone else can relate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will probably never attain the standard of living I had growing up. I am UMC by most (maybe not DCUM?) standards, but my dad was a Biglaw partner and made $1m+ most of my childhood, whereas my husband and I are both Fed attorneys and have HHI around $350k. Neither of us wants to go back to the private sector so we will probably stay around this income level.

I'm not a materialistic person so it doesn't really bother me on a daily basis. There are times when I think about some of the things I had growing up (horses/equestrian competitions, a nice summer home, pretty fancy vacations) and I get a bit of a twinge that my kids probably won't have those things (or at least not the versions of them that I had). However, I like my job and find it meaningful (as does DH for his job), and I have lower stress and time to spend with my kids that I wouldn't have in a Biglaw job. So I focus on those things.

If your parents could afford equestrian competitions, I'd assume that they will pass enough on to make you or your kids rich at some point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will probably never attain the standard of living I had growing up. I am UMC by most (maybe not DCUM?) standards, but my dad was a Biglaw partner and made $1m+ most of my childhood, whereas my husband and I are both Fed attorneys and have HHI around $350k. Neither of us wants to go back to the private sector so we will probably stay around this income level.

I'm not a materialistic person so it doesn't really bother me on a daily basis. There are times when I think about some of the things I had growing up (horses/equestrian competitions, a nice summer home, pretty fancy vacations) and I get a bit of a twinge that my kids probably won't have those things (or at least not the versions of them that I had). However, I like my job and find it meaningful (as does DH for his job), and I have lower stress and time to spend with my kids that I wouldn't have in a Biglaw job. So I focus on those things.

If your parents could afford equestrian competitions, I'd assume that they will pass enough on to make you or your kids rich at some point.

Anonymous wrote:I will probably never attain the standard of living I had growing up. I am UMC by most (maybe not DCUM?) standards, but my dad was a Biglaw partner and made $1m+ most of my childhood, whereas my husband and I are both Fed attorneys and have HHI around $350k. Neither of us wants to go back to the private sector so we will probably stay around this income level.

I'm not a materialistic person so it doesn't really bother me on a daily basis. There are times when I think about some of the things I had growing up (horses/equestrian competitions, a nice summer home, pretty fancy vacations) and I get a bit of a twinge that my kids probably won't have those things (or at least not the versions of them that I had). However, I like my job and find it meaningful (as does DH for his job), and I have lower stress and time to spend with my kids that I wouldn't have in a Biglaw job. So I focus on those things.

Anonymous wrote:I admit I am having difficulty. Its a whole new culture and I feel like a snob when I want things from my childhood vs what my MC husband offers me. I do not have a trust fund or what have you as my parents mismanaged their money, but while growing up I had a wonderful life. I knew my DH was raised LMC/MC but he went to good schools and I assumed we'd have a solid UMC life...so far still MC due to smaller incomes and HCOL.

Its really hard on me. I don't know if anyone else can relate.